i washed it away a long time ago..
its so hard to just sit next to you and tell you everything i feel. you see, ive never really felt this way before. and nobody's ever said the things to me that you say. well, they've never meant it like you do. im just scared. because i know that there's a lot of other girls out there that are better than me, that are prettier than me. they can give you so much more than i can. and it scares me. it scares me because i know that if you wanted to, you can have one of them. it would be so easy for you to get up and leave at any time. but for me, it's different. i can't just get up and leave. i cant because i love you.
today i had a really bad day to be honest. i pretty much stayed in my bed the entire day. ya know, sometimes i just think about things i shouldn't be thinking about. i think its bcause im worried that im believing in things i shouldnt be believing in. im worried that maybe i trust people i shouldnt trust. i dont really know who to listen to anymore. im not sure about anything really. im so upset. ive messed up really big, and i cant ever take it back. ive done things i shouldnt have done. ive said things i shouldnt have said. and i broke promises that werent ever meant ot be broken. i never really learn anything untill i make the wrong choice and get hurt someway, somehow. but ive done sooo much damage, im not sur eif ill even be able to make anymore wrong choices. ive had so much time to just sit here and think about everything ive done in the past year or so. ive done some really dumb things. to be honest though, i don't regret it. not one bit. i know ive messed up, and im kinda happy i did. because now i know how dumb those things are. you never really live till you get hurt. and ive gotten hurt pretty bad this time. im just worried that im never gonna be able to make those same mistakes again. you wouldn't really understand what i mean unless you've lived my life. its pretty complicated. nobody understand. nobody gets where im coming from. i guess im just stupid....
EFF OFF!!!
today i had a really bad day to be honest. i pretty much stayed in my bed the entire day. ya know, sometimes i just think about things i shouldn't be thinking about. i think its bcause im worried that im believing in things i shouldnt be believing in. im worried that maybe i trust people i shouldnt trust. i dont really know who to listen to anymore. im not sure about anything really. im so upset. ive messed up really big, and i cant ever take it back. ive done things i shouldnt have done. ive said things i shouldnt have said. and i broke promises that werent ever meant ot be broken. i never really learn anything untill i make the wrong choice and get hurt someway, somehow. but ive done sooo much damage, im not sur eif ill even be able to make anymore wrong choices. ive had so much time to just sit here and think about everything ive done in the past year or so. ive done some really dumb things. to be honest though, i don't regret it. not one bit. i know ive messed up, and im kinda happy i did. because now i know how dumb those things are. you never really live till you get hurt. and ive gotten hurt pretty bad this time. im just worried that im never gonna be able to make those same mistakes again. you wouldn't really understand what i mean unless you've lived my life. its pretty complicated. nobody understand. nobody gets where im coming from. i guess im just stupid....
EFF OFF!!!