i hate the way i feel

Sep 07, 2004 19:58

i am not happy. i am depressed. i am angry. i am hurt. i am sad. i hate the way i feel. i feel used. by you, by them. i feel upset. at him, at myself, at what i have done. i dread tomorrow. i dread knowing that i have to wakeup and go to school and listen to same old shit from the same old people. this is not a dream. its far from a nightmare. this is reality. reality bites. for right now at least. i am angry. at you. for what you said. for what you did. for the way you make me feel. you make me want to love you, but you make me feel upset with myself. with who i am. you seem upset with who i am. i cannot be happy unless you approve of me. i tried, but its not working was well as id like. i am mad they havent called me. im mad they dont care. im made noone cares right now. im mad that they say they care, but i know they dont. i know its a lie. a lie untill later on, when they're not alone anymore. when they dont need my company for their own sorrowness. i hate this. i want to let go. i want to not ever look back. i want to know whats happened is over now, and i dont need the past. i hate you. i hate them. i want to not love you anymore. i want you to keep loving me though. but you let go a long time ago.
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