I'm thinking back....
I'm thinking back on the past eight years of my life. Where did they go? It seems liek it was just yeasterday that I was a nerdy about-to-be freshman who was so nervous about what she was going to wear on the first day of highschool. What did I wear you ask? I wore my super cool platform tennis shoes, my jeans, and a shirt I got from the mens department at khols. Man oh man my life has come a long way from then.
My freshman year was a weird year. Alot of things happened that I thought only happened in movies. I was faced with a suicidial friend, spiritual issues with another, losing my friends and again others.....and of course there was Dave. I wanted nothing more than a story. I wanted that one story that I could carry with me forever and tell everyone about. I wanted it to be a happy story...however it was the story of my broken heart. Looking back now, eight years later, I was dumb. I should have been able to see through everything...but the truth is i wanted to be loved so bad that I was blind. How cliche huh?
After Dave I swore off love. i hated it. Infact when my best friends very first boyfriend used the "L" word, she didn't even tell me because she was afraid I would laugh and tell her that love wasn't real. How horrible of a 15 year old to feel. I swore then next time that I fell in love it would be the last time.
That is where God sent in Bret (I know I know how corny but its the truth). I dont even know what it was about him that captured me. When Jon told me that he was jealous of the relationship that Bret and I had I laughed. What relationship?! He was a dorky kid, who went out with KATIE....there was NO relationship. But then I thought about it. He was kinda cute in his own way, but I dont think I could ever picture myself holding hands with him in the hall (who was I kidding, I was no cuter my sophomore year than my freshman year, I was still wearing MENS clothing). But still something captured me.
I was never afraid to tell him how I felt about him. I've always thought that if you cared about someone they had a right to know. Perhaps I went a little too over board with my belief. I wasn't shy when he was dating other girls. He still knew How I felt. Band Tour was one of the best times of my life. I've never had so many butterflies. I remember our first hug getting off the tour bus. I remember when I walked into the band room and our eyes met how in that instant I knew that I loved him, and I knew he felt the same way.
There were other guys for me, and other girls for him. No matter how hard I tried I could never get over him. All it would take is one look, a glance, or even just a little scratch on the back of my head....and I knew. I just knew.
He did something on my 19th birthday that made me know we were going to end up together, and to be honest I dont even know if he knows about this. I was at his house....Kristen had a present for me....and Bret's girlfriend from Alabama was there. She was being rude to me the entire time (jealousy I like to think....) They were somewhere in the back of the house and I was leaving so I text Bret 'goodbye'. A few seconds later he comes down the hall and says " Well that was a lame goodbye Sarah" and I told him that I was not going to walk back to his room where him and his girlfriend were to say goodbye. He grabbed me and hugged me, and when he did he put his hand on the back of my head and put his fingers in my hair and scrathced my head (sounds like weird huh? but it was really cute). I was PISSED. Bret has ALWAYS done that when he's wanted to tell me that "its okay....I still care". He did that on chior tour when he knew I was upset, he would do that after we had a fight when we first dated, and when he did that on that day with his girlfriend there....I just knew that all along I had been right.
I feel as if I'm living in a fairytale. I've always been a princess....I've always dreamt aboout my wedding day and who would be standing next to me. Funny story, I first started to keep a journal when I was in 6th grade. I had crushes on EVERYONE and I seriously mean everyone. When I read my journal I laugh because if a boy even looked at me, I had a crush on him. Anyway.... on the very first page of my journal I asked a bunch of questions. Who would be the first boy to tell me they love me? Who would be my first kiss? Who would I marry? Who am I going to have kids with? I feel like the answers to all of my questions are being answered at a rather rapid rate.
Bret Anthony Rizzo. Sixteen letters.... one simple name.... but my entire world is wrapped up in it. My biggest dream is a reality. Someday in the future I will have my babies with him by my side, we will travel the world, watch our family grow, have dogs and fish....and maybe even a duck. I'm sure in what seems like a blink of an eye we will look back on our live and wonder where the last fifty years went.
My life is exactly what I wanted it to be... Thank you God.
My freshman year was a weird year. Alot of things happened that I thought only happened in movies. I was faced with a suicidial friend, spiritual issues with another, losing my friends and again others.....and of course there was Dave. I wanted nothing more than a story. I wanted that one story that I could carry with me forever and tell everyone about. I wanted it to be a happy story...however it was the story of my broken heart. Looking back now, eight years later, I was dumb. I should have been able to see through everything...but the truth is i wanted to be loved so bad that I was blind. How cliche huh?
After Dave I swore off love. i hated it. Infact when my best friends very first boyfriend used the "L" word, she didn't even tell me because she was afraid I would laugh and tell her that love wasn't real. How horrible of a 15 year old to feel. I swore then next time that I fell in love it would be the last time.
That is where God sent in Bret (I know I know how corny but its the truth). I dont even know what it was about him that captured me. When Jon told me that he was jealous of the relationship that Bret and I had I laughed. What relationship?! He was a dorky kid, who went out with KATIE....there was NO relationship. But then I thought about it. He was kinda cute in his own way, but I dont think I could ever picture myself holding hands with him in the hall (who was I kidding, I was no cuter my sophomore year than my freshman year, I was still wearing MENS clothing). But still something captured me.
I was never afraid to tell him how I felt about him. I've always thought that if you cared about someone they had a right to know. Perhaps I went a little too over board with my belief. I wasn't shy when he was dating other girls. He still knew How I felt. Band Tour was one of the best times of my life. I've never had so many butterflies. I remember our first hug getting off the tour bus. I remember when I walked into the band room and our eyes met how in that instant I knew that I loved him, and I knew he felt the same way.
There were other guys for me, and other girls for him. No matter how hard I tried I could never get over him. All it would take is one look, a glance, or even just a little scratch on the back of my head....and I knew. I just knew.
He did something on my 19th birthday that made me know we were going to end up together, and to be honest I dont even know if he knows about this. I was at his house....Kristen had a present for me....and Bret's girlfriend from Alabama was there. She was being rude to me the entire time (jealousy I like to think....) They were somewhere in the back of the house and I was leaving so I text Bret 'goodbye'. A few seconds later he comes down the hall and says " Well that was a lame goodbye Sarah" and I told him that I was not going to walk back to his room where him and his girlfriend were to say goodbye. He grabbed me and hugged me, and when he did he put his hand on the back of my head and put his fingers in my hair and scrathced my head (sounds like weird huh? but it was really cute). I was PISSED. Bret has ALWAYS done that when he's wanted to tell me that "its okay....I still care". He did that on chior tour when he knew I was upset, he would do that after we had a fight when we first dated, and when he did that on that day with his girlfriend there....I just knew that all along I had been right.
I feel as if I'm living in a fairytale. I've always been a princess....I've always dreamt aboout my wedding day and who would be standing next to me. Funny story, I first started to keep a journal when I was in 6th grade. I had crushes on EVERYONE and I seriously mean everyone. When I read my journal I laugh because if a boy even looked at me, I had a crush on him. Anyway.... on the very first page of my journal I asked a bunch of questions. Who would be the first boy to tell me they love me? Who would be my first kiss? Who would I marry? Who am I going to have kids with? I feel like the answers to all of my questions are being answered at a rather rapid rate.
Bret Anthony Rizzo. Sixteen letters.... one simple name.... but my entire world is wrapped up in it. My biggest dream is a reality. Someday in the future I will have my babies with him by my side, we will travel the world, watch our family grow, have dogs and fish....and maybe even a duck. I'm sure in what seems like a blink of an eye we will look back on our live and wonder where the last fifty years went.
My life is exactly what I wanted it to be... Thank you God.