[[Warning]]

[dreamofnumbness]

Yes, most will see this as an emo post...but I don't give a fuck.

I wish too much.

I wish I could stop crying.

I wish my feet didn't hurt so much. I wish I was making more money at work so the pain would actually be worth something. I wish I didn't feel like I want to die physically. I wish I would stop being nauseous. I wish I was at home. I wish I could just see Chad's face. I wish I was on my way to Rockingham to see the Cuda. I wish I weren't so upset so I could stop being so negative and stop complaining so much. I wish it weren't so hard to smile. I wish everything would get better sooner rather than later. I really wish the tears would stop coming. I wish I didn't feel so weak. I wish I weren't so tired. I wish I didn't have six blisters on my feet and I wish that I didn't have to go waitress in heels again tonight. I wish it didn't hurt to move. I wish I weren't alone. I wish I had all the answers to all our problems. I wish I felt pretty and strong and like I'm really worth something...but I really don't.

I wish I could find a way to stop being so sad all the time.

I wish I could stop feeling so depressed that I just want to sleep for the rest of forever and not wake up.

I wish I could stop wishing, dreaming, thinking, feeling such negative thoughts....

I wish I had my apartment with Chad now instead of in September...

I wish the tears didn't make it so hard for me to see.

I wish I weren't so sober.

I just want it to all go away...I don't want to do my homework...I want to sleep.

I don't even want to hit post...but I will.