(no subject)
what I would really like would be to get to a place where I do not think about him at all. I would love it if I could go for a week without dreaming about him, that he's changed his mind and he wants me instead. I wish I didn't have to wake up feeling devastated all over again. I wish that I didn't immediately compare every guy I meet to him and write them off for not being him. I am otherwise in a good place, keeping myself busy and enjoying spending time with my friends and family. But this just won't go away and sometimes I just want to scream and cry and just be somebody else, somebody better and maybe then he would want me.