blooming up from the ground. three rounds and a sound, like whispering you know me...and you know me
i have a stupid cold and this NyQuil is keeping me up rather than helping me sleep. story of my life. everything i use/take/need to benefit me ends up doing the complete opposite! enough of me using OTC medication to wallow in my own self pity because you know what?!..
i'm going to hawaii in 7 days and NEW YORK in 28 days... to visit an old crush & if i may be so bold... hopefully rekindle & perhaps start what we werent able to a few years ago?! only time will tell. no expectations on either part but exciting nonetheless.. after all.. how could you resist a boy who gives you a bob dylan coffee table book (basically adult pop out book.. envelopes with copies of hand written lyrics, tickets, fliers of old you can pull out & read..still one of my favorite books ever. lives in my car.) for an apartment warming present, agrees to take some sort of dance lesson with you, & opens the window when its raining, even though it's only 30 degrees out just to hear the sound of the rain while he sleeps?! i mean.. come on. i had feelings for him quite some time ago but i was starting something new with somebody else, therefore wasnt willing the risk of ending it to begin something new with another person. you ladies know how it is. but for the past few years i've always wondered "what if". "what if" is the worst feeling ever.. but if "if" would've happened, i do realize it wouldve been a bad idea seeing the person i am now compared to who i was then. i wouldve short changed us both. so, for the past couple months i've been thinking about him in such an uncanny, out of nowhere way. low & behold i was contacted by him not too long ago. kismet much?
like i said. no expectations.. but the leo's in us seem to think that it's the universe's way of bringing back what should've been & never was.. for a reason.
i'm giddy.
i'm relieved. (seeing as i never thought i would never feel butterflies after the man i could never have.. & in a way i'm glad i did have those butterflies because he definitely set better standards. if somebody wasnt as inspiring, intelligent, passionate, COMPASSIONATE as he was they were no good. i could've easily lowered my standards numerous times to have a companion. so maybe God or kismet/fate gave him to me so i would realize what i deserve & what to look for? i dont know)
the point being.. i have pterodactyls in my stomach & i constantly feel like i'm gonna throw up & i know this feeling is not going to cease until i step off that plane.
& it's new york for goodness sake! i almost want to not let him pick me up from the airport so i can meet him at the top of the empire state building & we can hold hands & just look at each other like... "yeah, i know.. i know" all Sleepless in Seattle styles!
wow.. leo sap strikes again! mar mar mar.
i'm going to hawaii in 7 days and NEW YORK in 28 days... to visit an old crush & if i may be so bold... hopefully rekindle & perhaps start what we werent able to a few years ago?! only time will tell. no expectations on either part but exciting nonetheless.. after all.. how could you resist a boy who gives you a bob dylan coffee table book (basically adult pop out book.. envelopes with copies of hand written lyrics, tickets, fliers of old you can pull out & read..still one of my favorite books ever. lives in my car.) for an apartment warming present, agrees to take some sort of dance lesson with you, & opens the window when its raining, even though it's only 30 degrees out just to hear the sound of the rain while he sleeps?! i mean.. come on. i had feelings for him quite some time ago but i was starting something new with somebody else, therefore wasnt willing the risk of ending it to begin something new with another person. you ladies know how it is. but for the past few years i've always wondered "what if". "what if" is the worst feeling ever.. but if "if" would've happened, i do realize it wouldve been a bad idea seeing the person i am now compared to who i was then. i wouldve short changed us both. so, for the past couple months i've been thinking about him in such an uncanny, out of nowhere way. low & behold i was contacted by him not too long ago. kismet much?
like i said. no expectations.. but the leo's in us seem to think that it's the universe's way of bringing back what should've been & never was.. for a reason.
i'm giddy.
i'm relieved. (seeing as i never thought i would never feel butterflies after the man i could never have.. & in a way i'm glad i did have those butterflies because he definitely set better standards. if somebody wasnt as inspiring, intelligent, passionate, COMPASSIONATE as he was they were no good. i could've easily lowered my standards numerous times to have a companion. so maybe God or kismet/fate gave him to me so i would realize what i deserve & what to look for? i dont know)
the point being.. i have pterodactyls in my stomach & i constantly feel like i'm gonna throw up & i know this feeling is not going to cease until i step off that plane.
& it's new york for goodness sake! i almost want to not let him pick me up from the airport so i can meet him at the top of the empire state building & we can hold hands & just look at each other like... "yeah, i know.. i know" all Sleepless in Seattle styles!
wow.. leo sap strikes again! mar mar mar.