my year
well a year ago i never would have imagined so much would change even tho i now realize that a lot had already started back then. im spending another new years alone just like last year... Apollo is here but even he is asleep. hes also sick so hes not in the best of moods. i learned a lot. college def sucks like high school just in different ways. im on my third roomie now i guess. tho i would have been perfectly happy still living with Liz and i know im going to miss that a lot. she was a great roomie even tho she wasnt there much. shes a busy girl and so was i with all that homework. it gave me the time to concentrate on my papers and studying. but im going to miss our late night talks when wed b talking til we couldnt move anymore and eventually fall asleep. classes arent horrible i guess... i have them all five days this semester but im not in class from 8-8. im done by 3 at the latest. Jess is a Godsend! i dont know what i would do without her. if it werent for her id erase my whole birthday from memory because other than the morning with my parents and the few minutes she spent here with me made my day!next year hopefully we'll be rooming together. i have a nice room and all but im just not very happy anywhere. i come home and im a total outsider. i dont need to go out and get totally smashed to have a good time... ijust laugh at Ry's stories in his hungover state. His and john's theyre similar in so many ways its entertaining for me.
im not perfect. i know this. i have a ton to work on. and maybe during the following year i will work on some of it. but i cant be everything every one needs. i cant be there 24/7 and ive learned that this year. i cant be myself and make everyone else happy at the same time. i need to make me happy first. i have to think about myself. i started that by chosing the school i wanted to go to. and maybe thats not what other people thought would be best for me, but in the end its my life and im ok with keene. im happier there than i would b anywhere else. people change and i get this. its life its bound to happen but heres the thing... if ur gonna say ur going to do something and dont it does hurt. if u let someone down enough then they stop caring and feeling that hurt... unfortunately i am not there yet tho i wish i was. ive learned not to get your hopes up and it wont hurt so bad when something doesnt happen. well at least i always say that im not going to let things get to me any more but they always do. i miss a lot though i try not to. i try to concentrate on what i do have. on the people who are there for me in the day to day or even the week to week.
a lot still doesnt make a whole lot of sense to me. i still think a lot about whats happened the last 6 or more months. lost a lot and gained a lot. but i still miss my best friend an aweful lot. but im so lucky to have Jessie and Lindsay. too bad angela and kayla are transferring out of keene.
Well i just wanna wish everyone a Happy New Year. I hope that you had a wonderful holiday season. Here is 2006... wow thats jsut weird.
im not perfect. i know this. i have a ton to work on. and maybe during the following year i will work on some of it. but i cant be everything every one needs. i cant be there 24/7 and ive learned that this year. i cant be myself and make everyone else happy at the same time. i need to make me happy first. i have to think about myself. i started that by chosing the school i wanted to go to. and maybe thats not what other people thought would be best for me, but in the end its my life and im ok with keene. im happier there than i would b anywhere else. people change and i get this. its life its bound to happen but heres the thing... if ur gonna say ur going to do something and dont it does hurt. if u let someone down enough then they stop caring and feeling that hurt... unfortunately i am not there yet tho i wish i was. ive learned not to get your hopes up and it wont hurt so bad when something doesnt happen. well at least i always say that im not going to let things get to me any more but they always do. i miss a lot though i try not to. i try to concentrate on what i do have. on the people who are there for me in the day to day or even the week to week.
a lot still doesnt make a whole lot of sense to me. i still think a lot about whats happened the last 6 or more months. lost a lot and gained a lot. but i still miss my best friend an aweful lot. but im so lucky to have Jessie and Lindsay. too bad angela and kayla are transferring out of keene.
Well i just wanna wish everyone a Happy New Year. I hope that you had a wonderful holiday season. Here is 2006... wow thats jsut weird.