(no subject)
Today is the worst day i have had in a long time... I know i probably only come on here to bitch, but who has time to write a decent entry when they are in a good mood? I think i probably got around about 2 hours of sleep last night. I had so much on my mind and so much i just wanted to let out through tears that i couldn't... and i am starting to now, but it isn't helping as much as i thought it would. I think i got up like 3 or 4 times to go to the toilet.. pregnancy is a bitch when it comes to going to the loo at night. They say it gets you in practice... but honestly, you get up, go, and then go back to sleep... but if you get up to a baby... you actually have to be awake i would think... so that sucks... i take forever to wake up half decently...
I feel so emotionally alone... i mean i had brock asking me if i was ok all night... he could obviously tell that something was up... and i just kept saying i was fine, when really i wasn't. But he needed his sleep coz they are really busy at work lately. I just kinda smile and nod at the things that happen around here. The house is an absolute pig sty... it's like it has never been cleaned... it makes me feel sick coz it is so dirty... now when i say dirty... i don't mean messy... there is a big difference between the two. No one takes responsibility as they all complain that they work long hours... and it's so hard... but here's a reality check... a lot of people work hard long hours (including my parents) and still manage to keep the house clean and stocked with food... my parents never seem to stop... i admire them so much... they give so much and don't ask for anything in return...
So much more I could write... but i have complained enough in this short space.
Let me go hide and not come out for a while... hide my face from society... hide my existence... hide who i am... oh wait.. i already have been.
OH yeah... and for those of you that actually make it this far... I am meant to be induced (my labour is meant to be brought on) next week... so thursday i think it is... i could well be a mum... scary as shit huh.
I feel so emotionally alone... i mean i had brock asking me if i was ok all night... he could obviously tell that something was up... and i just kept saying i was fine, when really i wasn't. But he needed his sleep coz they are really busy at work lately. I just kinda smile and nod at the things that happen around here. The house is an absolute pig sty... it's like it has never been cleaned... it makes me feel sick coz it is so dirty... now when i say dirty... i don't mean messy... there is a big difference between the two. No one takes responsibility as they all complain that they work long hours... and it's so hard... but here's a reality check... a lot of people work hard long hours (including my parents) and still manage to keep the house clean and stocked with food... my parents never seem to stop... i admire them so much... they give so much and don't ask for anything in return...
So much more I could write... but i have complained enough in this short space.
Let me go hide and not come out for a while... hide my face from society... hide my existence... hide who i am... oh wait.. i already have been.
OH yeah... and for those of you that actually make it this far... I am meant to be induced (my labour is meant to be brought on) next week... so thursday i think it is... i could well be a mum... scary as shit huh.