SCHOOL!!!!!
AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
i forgot how tiring school could be
we just got off fall break
and i am dead tired
i am also kinda peppy
it is soooooo weird
all day i was happy
i was hyper and entrgetic(sp?)
it was so weird
i wonder if it has anything to do with Josh
Correction...i know it has something to do w/ Josh
Josh hunny this is for you,
all right here is the low down
i hadnt had a bf in 3-3 1/2 yrs
and all that time i had a total disliking for myself
that is how it all happened
well....some of you know how depression can kill you slowly
i let it start its work
i kept telling myself i was fat, ugly, not talented, unwanted
then the cutting began....i wonder if i still have the scars
you have to understand i never cut to kill...just to punish
i would use anything i could get my hands on
knives, keys, safety pins (what i used most), anything
i first cut my wrists but my parents kept finding them
so i moved to my upper arm
they didnt find them there but my friends did
i told them that i could take care of it, it was no big deal
then...i just wanted to cut all the time
i finally got help from tim and katie..(more tim cuz i knew he would understand)
i told them why i did it and i am telling you now
i did it to punish myself for not being perfect
i wasnt what my parents wanted
my brother would never talk to me at school cuz i wasnt cool enough
the boys never looked my way cuz i wasnt what they wanted
i sucked and everything i did and i thought that i had to be punished for it
i also got professional help for stress and cutting
my therapist helped me out a lot
i stopped cutting becuz of friends and the therapist
the therapist also got me started on my diet so that i lost the weight i hated
i have lost a total of 27 odd lbs
but i was still depressed cuz i was feeling good
but no one would look at me like i looked good
funny isnt it
we all strive to be different and we kinda still end up being the same
then i met josh and we started going out and all of a sudden i was just happy all the time
i can never wait to talk to you
i can never wait to see you
so i want to do the same for you that you did for me
i want to help you
just tell me how
i forgot how tiring school could be
we just got off fall break
and i am dead tired
i am also kinda peppy
it is soooooo weird
all day i was happy
i was hyper and entrgetic(sp?)
it was so weird
i wonder if it has anything to do with Josh
Correction...i know it has something to do w/ Josh
Josh hunny this is for you,
all right here is the low down
i hadnt had a bf in 3-3 1/2 yrs
and all that time i had a total disliking for myself
that is how it all happened
well....some of you know how depression can kill you slowly
i let it start its work
i kept telling myself i was fat, ugly, not talented, unwanted
then the cutting began....i wonder if i still have the scars
you have to understand i never cut to kill...just to punish
i would use anything i could get my hands on
knives, keys, safety pins (what i used most), anything
i first cut my wrists but my parents kept finding them
so i moved to my upper arm
they didnt find them there but my friends did
i told them that i could take care of it, it was no big deal
then...i just wanted to cut all the time
i finally got help from tim and katie..(more tim cuz i knew he would understand)
i told them why i did it and i am telling you now
i did it to punish myself for not being perfect
i wasnt what my parents wanted
my brother would never talk to me at school cuz i wasnt cool enough
the boys never looked my way cuz i wasnt what they wanted
i sucked and everything i did and i thought that i had to be punished for it
i also got professional help for stress and cutting
my therapist helped me out a lot
i stopped cutting becuz of friends and the therapist
the therapist also got me started on my diet so that i lost the weight i hated
i have lost a total of 27 odd lbs
but i was still depressed cuz i was feeling good
but no one would look at me like i looked good
funny isnt it
we all strive to be different and we kinda still end up being the same
then i met josh and we started going out and all of a sudden i was just happy all the time
i can never wait to talk to you
i can never wait to see you
so i want to do the same for you that you did for me
i want to help you
just tell me how