Life bites
We're doing this assignment in english about what our name means. Apparently my name comes from the spanish/latin word amable which means loveable. It was created by a play write in the 1700's. So my name means loveable, or capable of being loved. HA! How ironic is it that I think Im supposed to spend life alone? Im not at all loveable. Anyways, thats just some useless information. Im full of that shit aint I?
Jasons gone. He left Monday night for Kuwait. He didnt call to say goodbye like he said he would. Go figure. I suppose Im just no important enough. He was talking about how he got to come home one last time before he was to ship out and how he was glad he got to see all his IMPORTANT friend and family before he left...it was so hard to bite my tongue on that one. That just proves further that Im not important enough. But I already knew that. He gave me his address. I suppose he'll write. It'll be that bland hi how are you. Im fine. This is what Ive been doing over here in the desert. Cant wait to come home...same old shit. But why am I bumming still? Its all Ive ever expected out of him. Not once has he ever given me a glimmer of hope that he might move me higher up on his list of important things. Im not even sure I make any list...oh wait of course I do! Its the list entitled: People to use and mess with
I get to go to Buffalo this weekend to get my scholorship certificate. Woohoo. I guess that makes it offical. Its kinda pointless. We only have to be there for an hour. But my dad wants to see about talking to a financial aid advisor and stuff so we can get the ball rolling on that one. I get to see how much Im going to be putting my parents and myself in debt. Fucking education. Why does it have to be so expensive?
My car has to heat. Each goddamn week something else goes on it. I really should just run it into a tree and hope I go up with the car...
Moms being a bitch again...wrong phrase-Moms still being a bitch. The lastest is that she says I didnt give her the money for my Jan. cell phone bill-which I did. And now she all of a sudden has Feb. and March and needs the money for it. Uh no bitch. I already planned on giving her the Feb tomorrow when I got my paycheck but there is no way that she has March already. I know that the bill doesnt come out until the 10th of every month. So caught ya bitch. Oh and I have to give her money for the regular phone bill because all of a sudden its long distance to call Daves cell phone. Ya know, I buy my own food, I pay for a car and cell phone...wtf its like Im paying rent to my parents. And its all my moms doing. Fucking bitch
Ive been really mean to Dave lately. Ive just been so stressed out it seems. Its horrible. Ive never snapped at someone in my whole life. And its not like I mean to do it on purpose. For some reason he just pushes my buttons and gets on my nerves. Probably because he asks the same questions day after day and along with that I get asked whats wrong every time theres a silence. It drives me insane. He still just doesnt understand that for the most part, Im a private person. I try not to wear my heart on my sleeve and I like to keep things to myself. If I get quiet, it doesnt mean something is wrong. It just means I dont have anything to say. Plain and simple, no hidden meaning.
Jasons gone. He left Monday night for Kuwait. He didnt call to say goodbye like he said he would. Go figure. I suppose Im just no important enough. He was talking about how he got to come home one last time before he was to ship out and how he was glad he got to see all his IMPORTANT friend and family before he left...it was so hard to bite my tongue on that one. That just proves further that Im not important enough. But I already knew that. He gave me his address. I suppose he'll write. It'll be that bland hi how are you. Im fine. This is what Ive been doing over here in the desert. Cant wait to come home...same old shit. But why am I bumming still? Its all Ive ever expected out of him. Not once has he ever given me a glimmer of hope that he might move me higher up on his list of important things. Im not even sure I make any list...oh wait of course I do! Its the list entitled: People to use and mess with
I get to go to Buffalo this weekend to get my scholorship certificate. Woohoo. I guess that makes it offical. Its kinda pointless. We only have to be there for an hour. But my dad wants to see about talking to a financial aid advisor and stuff so we can get the ball rolling on that one. I get to see how much Im going to be putting my parents and myself in debt. Fucking education. Why does it have to be so expensive?
My car has to heat. Each goddamn week something else goes on it. I really should just run it into a tree and hope I go up with the car...
Moms being a bitch again...wrong phrase-Moms still being a bitch. The lastest is that she says I didnt give her the money for my Jan. cell phone bill-which I did. And now she all of a sudden has Feb. and March and needs the money for it. Uh no bitch. I already planned on giving her the Feb tomorrow when I got my paycheck but there is no way that she has March already. I know that the bill doesnt come out until the 10th of every month. So caught ya bitch. Oh and I have to give her money for the regular phone bill because all of a sudden its long distance to call Daves cell phone. Ya know, I buy my own food, I pay for a car and cell phone...wtf its like Im paying rent to my parents. And its all my moms doing. Fucking bitch
Ive been really mean to Dave lately. Ive just been so stressed out it seems. Its horrible. Ive never snapped at someone in my whole life. And its not like I mean to do it on purpose. For some reason he just pushes my buttons and gets on my nerves. Probably because he asks the same questions day after day and along with that I get asked whats wrong every time theres a silence. It drives me insane. He still just doesnt understand that for the most part, Im a private person. I try not to wear my heart on my sleeve and I like to keep things to myself. If I get quiet, it doesnt mean something is wrong. It just means I dont have anything to say. Plain and simple, no hidden meaning.