The itch.
I don't know if it's the year of the dragon or just cos I am at that life stage, recently, there's so much news about friends giving birth, getting pregnant, trying for a baby.
And I am feeling a baby-itch.
Suddenly, I start thinking to myself how nice it feels to be pregnant. And oh, the sweetness of brand new babies. I entertain thoughts of having a large family (in my perfect world, I would have 4 babies) and how sweet it will be for the boy to have siblings to hang out with (very cool idea to me cos I m an only child).
Actually, part of me, a large part in fact, feels that I will never ever be ready for another baby. Now that I just gotten part of my life back. I am still adjusting to life with a kid. I am still struggling with getting enough sleep. And I miss having holidays lots!!
And then I think about the sleep deprived early days. I don't think I am ready to go through it all over again.
But there's this small voice telling me that maybe I will be ready for a second baby. I wonder if it's just the selfish part of me who just loves the idea of being pregnant; to me, that's a very enjoyable, if not most enjoyable, part of being a mummy. And recently, I have been thinking about the birth that I had so wanted, and I just keep thinking about what I would have done differently if I could 're-do' the boy's birth. It's like a unfulfilled wish hanging over my head.
For now, it's just a itch. I don't know if I will ever ever act on it.
Some day. Maybe :)
P.s It just occurred to me while typing this entry that the boy's due date was supposed to be Tmr one year ago (i.e 17 Mar). Maybe it's just my subconscious mind itching.
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