Share: Balancing children and work
So, I m scheduled to head back to work in about 4 months time. It's been 7 months since the boy arrived. I can't quite believe we are going into the last quarter of the year already. There seem to be much to do in these 4 months!! The past few days I've got pple asking me what the care arrangement for the boy would be like after I go back to work. The thing is I don't really have a very good answer to that. We're still in a bit of a limbo in fixing up the arrangement.
I think to a very large extent, I am very fortunate. I have really supportive bosses at work and at home, both F and my parents are happy to extend their help as far as we ask.
The issue is we think our parents wouldn't be able to tahan taking care of the boy all day. My parents still have to run their business while F's parents are rather elderly. Plus, both F and I want to be as involved as possible in caring for the boy. We want to be there for him. I can't imagine missing any precious moment in his childhood! So yes, I m selfish in a way that I don't really want anyone else to be there to witness his first words, celebrate his first steps or hug him when he falls. And being the control freak I am, I know that if anyone else takes care of the boy, I can't really control how he's cared for.
Of course, if I wanted to be there for the boy, being SAHM indefinitely is the way to go. But after being home with him for the past 7 months, I think I want to keep work in my life. I miss being around adults. It's quite a dilemma; as much as I love spending time with my boy, I still crave for an identity of my own and earn my own keeps. No wonder whether to work or spend time at home nurturing children is such an age-old question for women.
We've been trying to come up with an arrangement that works, I.e. fit into F and my work arrangements. My bosses have been nothing but wonderful. So far, whatever I have tried to explore are ok-ed. Part-time, flexi-time arrangements are accepted. F and I just need to get our act together. I can't say it's been easy for F; pple find it weird that he wants to spend less time at work so that he has more time with his kid. It seems like to many, caring for children is still a woman's responsibility.
Perhaps we're just being idealistic about our parenting role. It seems the most practical solution is to leave the children with grandparents while the daddies and mummies go to work; it's the 'prime years' afterall, I guess. That's what many people do. I won't say it's a easy way out for I think it must be hard for mummies to be at work while thinking about their babies at home.
Mummies out there, care to share your arrangements for caring for your children? How do the daddies or grandparents fit in? How do you balance the care for your little ones with work? :)
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