Those eyes. Who's are they?
Soooooooo. I'm going to try this LJ thing again. I feel there are some things I would like to get out that aren't blog worthy. And Google Chrome corrects spelling as you type so that helps. Why did I ever use explorer? BTW, this is taking forever to type, because when I am buzzed, apparently my typing sucks.
Rum, she is my friend. She fills me with a warm tingly feeling from my head to my toes. When I get the mixture right that is. When I hurt you make me forget it. When I'm horny, you make me not mind it much. Ok, that depends. More like I don't get upset if nothing happens. The sad thing is that Brett knows when I get the mixture right. Which is sad, because he worries then. My stomach had kept me from you in the past, but as long as you don't interfere with work, I think I will rely on you more often. For Brett's sake as well as mine. I know he may worry some but at least I won't be making him feel guilty over other things.
It's storming tonight. We have has such a mild winter. I thank the Goddess for it, but I wonder why she chose it. Maybe the earth needed a winter without a long hard frost. I don't know. I know she has her reasons.
I have a new job that I love. The gel on my nails doesn't apparently. I guess I can do nothing girly. That makes me sad. It gave me an excuse to see my sister and it was the one girly thing I did. I'm sure this makes Brett happy. He never saw the point in it. I guess I should just take him saying that I'm the most beautiful woman in the world as enough, to keep me feeling womanly.
So much has happen since the last post. I lost my job at amdoc. Then Brett did. I got a job at Home Depot and I was there a year, but now my new job conflics with that so I have to get rid of it. I feel 0so bad about it that I'm hiding from it, which isn't fair. I will miss it, but the truth is I'm a housewife that works, so I have no room for a second job. I need to take care of home. Dear Goddess, do I ever. It's such a mess and I'm so ashamed of it.
One thing hasn't changed. I'm still caught in a struggle for wanting a kid. I do then I don't. My biological clock is so confused. But what am I even worried about. Brett gets the say of when we have kids, I don't. He doesn't feel it's time right now. I wonder if he'll even think it's time. I'm 28 now. I wanted to start having kids before I was 30. For various reason, but as it's going, it will never happen. Brett says it will happen eventually. But I wonder. I have what 12 years or so till menopause starts, by the history of women in my family. I want 2 kids, so the time is closing in on me. I don't know what to do. For the first time I see how we can work with having a kid. I know now that I can never be a stay at home mom, but if my parents or Brett's mom can be the babysitter, then everything will work out fine. I told Brett that I felt that our little home is too small for a family, even though the previous owners raised 2 girls here. But Brett sees us being able to raise one kid here. If we are going to be here for 5 years or more, I would like to expand/remodel the house, but that is risky. We can go over what houses of that status can go for. I just want to be comfortable.
At times I love this house. At times I yearn for more. My dreams are always of a farm in a small town. That just feels so right. But I doubt it will ever be true. Honestly, I'll be surprised if we move to Brownsburg or plainfield at all.
Well my train of thought has thoroughly derailed so I'm going to end this here.
Laters, Savvy?
-Aislin
Rum, she is my friend. She fills me with a warm tingly feeling from my head to my toes. When I get the mixture right that is. When I hurt you make me forget it. When I'm horny, you make me not mind it much. Ok, that depends. More like I don't get upset if nothing happens. The sad thing is that Brett knows when I get the mixture right. Which is sad, because he worries then. My stomach had kept me from you in the past, but as long as you don't interfere with work, I think I will rely on you more often. For Brett's sake as well as mine. I know he may worry some but at least I won't be making him feel guilty over other things.
It's storming tonight. We have has such a mild winter. I thank the Goddess for it, but I wonder why she chose it. Maybe the earth needed a winter without a long hard frost. I don't know. I know she has her reasons.
I have a new job that I love. The gel on my nails doesn't apparently. I guess I can do nothing girly. That makes me sad. It gave me an excuse to see my sister and it was the one girly thing I did. I'm sure this makes Brett happy. He never saw the point in it. I guess I should just take him saying that I'm the most beautiful woman in the world as enough, to keep me feeling womanly.
So much has happen since the last post. I lost my job at amdoc. Then Brett did. I got a job at Home Depot and I was there a year, but now my new job conflics with that so I have to get rid of it. I feel 0so bad about it that I'm hiding from it, which isn't fair. I will miss it, but the truth is I'm a housewife that works, so I have no room for a second job. I need to take care of home. Dear Goddess, do I ever. It's such a mess and I'm so ashamed of it.
One thing hasn't changed. I'm still caught in a struggle for wanting a kid. I do then I don't. My biological clock is so confused. But what am I even worried about. Brett gets the say of when we have kids, I don't. He doesn't feel it's time right now. I wonder if he'll even think it's time. I'm 28 now. I wanted to start having kids before I was 30. For various reason, but as it's going, it will never happen. Brett says it will happen eventually. But I wonder. I have what 12 years or so till menopause starts, by the history of women in my family. I want 2 kids, so the time is closing in on me. I don't know what to do. For the first time I see how we can work with having a kid. I know now that I can never be a stay at home mom, but if my parents or Brett's mom can be the babysitter, then everything will work out fine. I told Brett that I felt that our little home is too small for a family, even though the previous owners raised 2 girls here. But Brett sees us being able to raise one kid here. If we are going to be here for 5 years or more, I would like to expand/remodel the house, but that is risky. We can go over what houses of that status can go for. I just want to be comfortable.
At times I love this house. At times I yearn for more. My dreams are always of a farm in a small town. That just feels so right. But I doubt it will ever be true. Honestly, I'll be surprised if we move to Brownsburg or plainfield at all.
Well my train of thought has thoroughly derailed so I'm going to end this here.
Laters, Savvy?
-Aislin