Fic: Nourishing Sammy / Chapter 1 / 3: The Motels [Supernatural]
Rating: General Audiences
Genre: Gen
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, John Wincehster
Additional Tags: Wee!chesters, Pre-Series, childhood poverty and hunger, implied childhood prostitution
Also available on: AO3, Tumblr
Language: English
Words: 2263
Summary: There's only so much Dean can do to make sure Sammy gets the kind of food a growing kid should have with motel kitchenettes and minimal funds. But damn if he isn't going to try to give Sammy the best he can.
The first time John booked a motel with a kitchenette, Dean was excited. A few weeks prior he’d seen a cooking show featuring a dinner that didn’t look too complicated. “Perfect for growing kids” the show’s host had said. Dean remembered wishing he could make stuff like that for Sam, and the sinking feeling he’d gotten when he realized that he couldn’t. Since watching that first episode, Dean had caught a few more when Dad was gone and Sam was asleep, and had stared enraptured at the screen while the host talked about nutrition and healthy eating for children. He started hearing the host’s voice when he went to get food, listing off all the reasons the takeout or gass station fare were completely inappropriate meals for growing children. Every microwave sandwich or mini-mart snackfood felt like an indictment of Dean’s failure as a brother. There was nothing Dean could do about it, but that didn’t really make him feel any better. Not when Dad was relying on him to take care of Sammy. Not when Sammy needed Dean to make sure he grew up big and strong.
But now they were staying in a place with a real electric burner! Dean was already planning out a grocery list in his head to make all kinds of real meals for Sammy. The second Dad left, handing Dean a few bills and instructions to “take care of your brother. I’ll be back in a few days,” Dean bundled Sammy into his jacket and walked them both to the store. Dean helped Sammy into the child’s seat of the cart, worrying slightly about how they were going to get Sam out of it once they were done. But they didn’t have a stroller, and the walk over to the store had already tuckered Sam out, so it was either deal with a cranky Sammy, or let him sit in the cart. The very special job of “lookout” had pleased Sammy greatly - and it was highly necessary as Dean could barely see over the top of the cart. Sam squealed happily as Dean began pushing the cart through the large supermarket, entranced by the fruit and vegetable displays. It occurred to Dean that Sam had never been on a real grocery store trip. Not like the ones with Mom that held a special place in Dean’s memory where she would quiz him on the names of all the foods, and ask him to help her pick out which ones were freshest.
No sooner had they begun shopping when Dean realized his error. They didn’t have any supplies to actually prepare the food. It was one thing to have a burner, but they didn’t have pots or pans or spoons or any of the stuff necessary to actually make anything. He pushed the cart away from the produce, much to Sammy’s displeasure, and went to find the cooking supplies. He frowned, reading the prices and counting the bills from Dad in his pocket. Dad hadn’t expected to be gone long and hadn’t left them with much. Dean sighed, dejectedly, the pots were just too expensive. Discouraged, Dean pushed the cart out of the store and helped Sammy down out of the seat, even as the boy protested “but we just got here!”
As they were walking back to the motel, Dean spotted a Goodwill. He remembered seeing cooking stuff in a thrift store a few towns ago when they’d needed to buy Sam some pants that didn’t show his ankles. Hoping this one would have a similar selection of items, he led Sammy through the door. Dean’s face lit up when he saw that they had a whole section of kitchen supplies. Despite Sammy’s impatience with the process, Dean inspected every pot and spoon carefully, making sure they were in good condition and checking their prices. Eventually, Dean selected a small pot, big enough to make canned soup, and a large metal spoon. He passed them to Sammy who banged them together with glee. Dean couldn’t help but grin, even as another shopper glared at Sam’s behavior.
Having purchased cooking implements, the boys headed back to the grocery store, Dean’s determination to actually make a meal renewed. He had to revise his meal plan, no longer having enough funds for what he had originally planned to make, but Campbell’s soup with some extra veggies thrown in would be better than another sausage breakfast sandwich for dinner. According to the TV, sausage was fatty, and too much fat could clog your arteries, whatever those were.
Dinner did not go well. Sammy was already grumpy from the shopping trip taking longer than expected, and turned up his nose at the vegetables, saying they were ‘icky.’ He ended up having leftover Lucky Charms for dinner while Dean ate the soup himself. The canned tomato soup Dean made the next day went over much better with Sammy, and Dean was very pleased at himself for finding something healthy for Sammy to eat. He was sure Dad would be very proud of him for taking such good care of Sam. John came home the next evening after his usual post-hunt night at the bar. Dean had run out of money, and forgone his own dinner in favor of making sure Sammy had his fill. He was hungry and tired, and happy to see his Dad who he hoped could be convinced to go out to grab burgers for dinner. John took one look at the pot and spoon Dean had purchased and lashed out. “No I will not go out and get you a burger! I’m fucking tired and if you hadn’t been an idiot and spent the money I gave you on stupid shit instead of food, you wouldn't be hungry! Consider going without dinner tonight a lesson on spending what I leave you better!” Dean stood silent in shock as John stormed into the adjacent bedroom and promptly passed out in a drunken stupor.
Dean kept meticulous care of that pot and spoon. He made sure it was always washed and put away by the time John came back, never offering to cook anything in it if the whole family was together for a meal. If John came to realize that being able to buy soups and other food to cook in the pot was cheaper than pre-packaged sandwiches and meals, he never said anything. He was not the sort of man willing to acknowledge his error in chastising Dean for purchasing the meager cooking implements.
When Sam was 8 years old, he decided to cook Dean dinner for a change. After all, Dean had started cooking meals with the pot when he was Sam’s age. Dean returned home to find the small motel room full of smoke and Sam running water into the pot. When he saw Dean come in, Sam’s eyes filled with tears. He’d gotten side tracked watching a TV show and forgotten about the pot on the burner. Dean took the pot from Sam and inspected it. There was a small hole burnt through the cheap metal bottom. He bit down his anger and hugged his brother, assuring him it was the thought that counted and that he wasn’t upset.
Dean came home the next day with a new pot that Sam knew Dad hadn’t left them enough money to be able to afford. It was a heavy bottomed pot made of much sturdier stuff, and Dean joked that it was “Sammy proof.” Dean never told Sam where the money for the nicer pot came from, and Sam never asked. Sam knew by then it was better to just pretend he bought Dean’s lie that Dad’s money paid for everything than question how his older brother was supplementing their income. Eventually, Dean got better at keeping the money away from where Sam could count it and Sam forgot that Dad’s ability to pay for his food and cloths ever came into question.
Not every place they stayed had a burner though, and Sammy had started to complain about Dean always making the same things. Pasta and soup were the best Dean could do with a single pot and spoon as his cooking tools, and Dean did not want to risk what John would say if he tried to buy a cook book to learn how to make anything else. So Dean started buying microwavable TV dinners to give Sam more variety when there was the money for it. It started off a bit like Russian Roulette if Sam would like the ones he bought or not - Dean eating the leftovers of ones that Sam turned his nose up at. Eventually, he figured out which ones Sam liked and didn’t like, and tailored his purchases accordingly. The TV dinners were more expensive than pasta or canned soups, but Dean wasn’t willing to go back to the cheaper gas station food for Sam if he could help it. The TV dinners came with veggies after all.
To save money feeding himself, Dean became a dollar meal expert. He quickly learned which chains had items for a dollar, and which didn’t, and at what places he could get the most food for only a few bucks. Dean set a strict food budget for himself each day, and if he was still hungry after he’d spent it, then that was just the way it was. He always told Sam he’d eaten at a friend’s house when he didn’t join Sam for meals in the motel. Dean became skilled at keeping his tone light and a smile on his face even when it felt like his stomach was trying to eat him from the inside. “Take care of Sammy” became a mantra that Dean clung to when the hunger pangs started to become unbearable. He was the older brother, and this was his job. If his discomfort meant Sammy was happy and healthy, then it was worth it. Sammy was worth it.
Every now and then, Dean would date a girl who thought it was a great idea to take him home for dinner to “meet the folks.” Even though he hated the song and dance of dodging questions about what his Dad did, or why he moved around so much, or god forbid, what his “plans for the future” were, he always accepted. Those nights he ate until he was full, and then some. The best times were when he got to take some food with him, a concerned mother noticing how much he was shoveling in his mouth and reacting with concern rather than disgust. Sammy always got all of the leftovers he brought back.
Dean both loved and hated when Sam got an invite to eat dinner at a friends house. Sammy always came back well fed and happy, which was good. But Dean hated listening to Sam going on about how amazing the food was, all the things his friends’ mother made, and how he wished they could have family dinners like that. Dean smiled and gritted his teeth, jealous at the ability of others to better provide meals for Sam than himself, and angry at the undercurrent of criticism of their family that he read in Sam’s exuberant praise of the other families.
Once Sammy came back from Thanksgiving at a friends house practically gushing about how normal and wonderful the holiday had been there. Dean listened to Sam’s praise of this other family, getting angrier and angrier. All he could hear during Sam’s exuberant blow by blow of his close encounter with a real nuclear family holiday was ‘why can’t you make food like that?’ ‘you and Dad aren’t good enough’ ‘I’d be happier with that family than you and Dad.’ After half an hour of listening to how amazing this other family’s Thanksgiving was, Dean snapped. He screamed at a shocked Sam for five minutes, and stormed out of the motel room without waiting for a response. That night was the first time Dean tried to get into a bar on his own, and his childish features got him laughed out the door. It took an embarrassingly short amount of time to find some guys with less qualms about providing alcohol to minors, especially if Dean was willing to do them a favor in return.
When he came back two hours later, Sam was sitting quietly on the couch, head down and eyes red. Sam looked up at Dean with eyes starting to water, and brokenly apologized.
“I’m sorry Dean. I didn’t mean to make you mad. I won’t ever go over there again. Please don’t be angry.”
Dean felt horrible and pulled Sam into his arms making soothing noises.
“It’s okay Sammy. I was upset about something else and took it out on you, I promise, everything’s fine Sammy. You can always go over to friends houses. I’m sorry I yelled.”
Later than night, as Dean watched some Thanksgiving special on TV he could care less about with Sam sleeping on his shoulder, he vowed he’d never let Sam be impacted by their food situation ever again. Sammy came first, and if that meant Dean had to deal with other people feeding Sam better than he could, he’d do it with a smile.
Author's note: According to QSR Web: Wendy’s Value Menu debuted in 1989, wanting a way to get out of the “burger wars” of the late 1980s. “At that time, all of the hamburger chains were going after each other and it escalated to the point where we were seeing 99 cent Whoppers and Big Macs. These prices were on permanent signage, they weren’t being done as a limited-time promotion,” Lynch said. “From (Wendy’s) perspective, the market share battles were so intense that chains were discounting their flagship items.”
So even though Burger King didn’t get a dollar menu until ‘98 and McDonalds didn’t until 2003, Dean would have still been able to find fast food chains selling burgers for $1 as a kid.
Genre: Gen
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, John Wincehster
Additional Tags: Wee!chesters, Pre-Series, childhood poverty and hunger, implied childhood prostitution
Also available on: AO3, Tumblr
Language: English
Words: 2263
Summary: There's only so much Dean can do to make sure Sammy gets the kind of food a growing kid should have with motel kitchenettes and minimal funds. But damn if he isn't going to try to give Sammy the best he can.
The first time John booked a motel with a kitchenette, Dean was excited. A few weeks prior he’d seen a cooking show featuring a dinner that didn’t look too complicated. “Perfect for growing kids” the show’s host had said. Dean remembered wishing he could make stuff like that for Sam, and the sinking feeling he’d gotten when he realized that he couldn’t. Since watching that first episode, Dean had caught a few more when Dad was gone and Sam was asleep, and had stared enraptured at the screen while the host talked about nutrition and healthy eating for children. He started hearing the host’s voice when he went to get food, listing off all the reasons the takeout or gass station fare were completely inappropriate meals for growing children. Every microwave sandwich or mini-mart snackfood felt like an indictment of Dean’s failure as a brother. There was nothing Dean could do about it, but that didn’t really make him feel any better. Not when Dad was relying on him to take care of Sammy. Not when Sammy needed Dean to make sure he grew up big and strong.
But now they were staying in a place with a real electric burner! Dean was already planning out a grocery list in his head to make all kinds of real meals for Sammy. The second Dad left, handing Dean a few bills and instructions to “take care of your brother. I’ll be back in a few days,” Dean bundled Sammy into his jacket and walked them both to the store. Dean helped Sammy into the child’s seat of the cart, worrying slightly about how they were going to get Sam out of it once they were done. But they didn’t have a stroller, and the walk over to the store had already tuckered Sam out, so it was either deal with a cranky Sammy, or let him sit in the cart. The very special job of “lookout” had pleased Sammy greatly - and it was highly necessary as Dean could barely see over the top of the cart. Sam squealed happily as Dean began pushing the cart through the large supermarket, entranced by the fruit and vegetable displays. It occurred to Dean that Sam had never been on a real grocery store trip. Not like the ones with Mom that held a special place in Dean’s memory where she would quiz him on the names of all the foods, and ask him to help her pick out which ones were freshest.
No sooner had they begun shopping when Dean realized his error. They didn’t have any supplies to actually prepare the food. It was one thing to have a burner, but they didn’t have pots or pans or spoons or any of the stuff necessary to actually make anything. He pushed the cart away from the produce, much to Sammy’s displeasure, and went to find the cooking supplies. He frowned, reading the prices and counting the bills from Dad in his pocket. Dad hadn’t expected to be gone long and hadn’t left them with much. Dean sighed, dejectedly, the pots were just too expensive. Discouraged, Dean pushed the cart out of the store and helped Sammy down out of the seat, even as the boy protested “but we just got here!”
As they were walking back to the motel, Dean spotted a Goodwill. He remembered seeing cooking stuff in a thrift store a few towns ago when they’d needed to buy Sam some pants that didn’t show his ankles. Hoping this one would have a similar selection of items, he led Sammy through the door. Dean’s face lit up when he saw that they had a whole section of kitchen supplies. Despite Sammy’s impatience with the process, Dean inspected every pot and spoon carefully, making sure they were in good condition and checking their prices. Eventually, Dean selected a small pot, big enough to make canned soup, and a large metal spoon. He passed them to Sammy who banged them together with glee. Dean couldn’t help but grin, even as another shopper glared at Sam’s behavior.
Having purchased cooking implements, the boys headed back to the grocery store, Dean’s determination to actually make a meal renewed. He had to revise his meal plan, no longer having enough funds for what he had originally planned to make, but Campbell’s soup with some extra veggies thrown in would be better than another sausage breakfast sandwich for dinner. According to the TV, sausage was fatty, and too much fat could clog your arteries, whatever those were.
Dinner did not go well. Sammy was already grumpy from the shopping trip taking longer than expected, and turned up his nose at the vegetables, saying they were ‘icky.’ He ended up having leftover Lucky Charms for dinner while Dean ate the soup himself. The canned tomato soup Dean made the next day went over much better with Sammy, and Dean was very pleased at himself for finding something healthy for Sammy to eat. He was sure Dad would be very proud of him for taking such good care of Sam. John came home the next evening after his usual post-hunt night at the bar. Dean had run out of money, and forgone his own dinner in favor of making sure Sammy had his fill. He was hungry and tired, and happy to see his Dad who he hoped could be convinced to go out to grab burgers for dinner. John took one look at the pot and spoon Dean had purchased and lashed out. “No I will not go out and get you a burger! I’m fucking tired and if you hadn’t been an idiot and spent the money I gave you on stupid shit instead of food, you wouldn't be hungry! Consider going without dinner tonight a lesson on spending what I leave you better!” Dean stood silent in shock as John stormed into the adjacent bedroom and promptly passed out in a drunken stupor.
Dean kept meticulous care of that pot and spoon. He made sure it was always washed and put away by the time John came back, never offering to cook anything in it if the whole family was together for a meal. If John came to realize that being able to buy soups and other food to cook in the pot was cheaper than pre-packaged sandwiches and meals, he never said anything. He was not the sort of man willing to acknowledge his error in chastising Dean for purchasing the meager cooking implements.
When Sam was 8 years old, he decided to cook Dean dinner for a change. After all, Dean had started cooking meals with the pot when he was Sam’s age. Dean returned home to find the small motel room full of smoke and Sam running water into the pot. When he saw Dean come in, Sam’s eyes filled with tears. He’d gotten side tracked watching a TV show and forgotten about the pot on the burner. Dean took the pot from Sam and inspected it. There was a small hole burnt through the cheap metal bottom. He bit down his anger and hugged his brother, assuring him it was the thought that counted and that he wasn’t upset.
Dean came home the next day with a new pot that Sam knew Dad hadn’t left them enough money to be able to afford. It was a heavy bottomed pot made of much sturdier stuff, and Dean joked that it was “Sammy proof.” Dean never told Sam where the money for the nicer pot came from, and Sam never asked. Sam knew by then it was better to just pretend he bought Dean’s lie that Dad’s money paid for everything than question how his older brother was supplementing their income. Eventually, Dean got better at keeping the money away from where Sam could count it and Sam forgot that Dad’s ability to pay for his food and cloths ever came into question.
Not every place they stayed had a burner though, and Sammy had started to complain about Dean always making the same things. Pasta and soup were the best Dean could do with a single pot and spoon as his cooking tools, and Dean did not want to risk what John would say if he tried to buy a cook book to learn how to make anything else. So Dean started buying microwavable TV dinners to give Sam more variety when there was the money for it. It started off a bit like Russian Roulette if Sam would like the ones he bought or not - Dean eating the leftovers of ones that Sam turned his nose up at. Eventually, he figured out which ones Sam liked and didn’t like, and tailored his purchases accordingly. The TV dinners were more expensive than pasta or canned soups, but Dean wasn’t willing to go back to the cheaper gas station food for Sam if he could help it. The TV dinners came with veggies after all.
To save money feeding himself, Dean became a dollar meal expert. He quickly learned which chains had items for a dollar, and which didn’t, and at what places he could get the most food for only a few bucks. Dean set a strict food budget for himself each day, and if he was still hungry after he’d spent it, then that was just the way it was. He always told Sam he’d eaten at a friend’s house when he didn’t join Sam for meals in the motel. Dean became skilled at keeping his tone light and a smile on his face even when it felt like his stomach was trying to eat him from the inside. “Take care of Sammy” became a mantra that Dean clung to when the hunger pangs started to become unbearable. He was the older brother, and this was his job. If his discomfort meant Sammy was happy and healthy, then it was worth it. Sammy was worth it.
Every now and then, Dean would date a girl who thought it was a great idea to take him home for dinner to “meet the folks.” Even though he hated the song and dance of dodging questions about what his Dad did, or why he moved around so much, or god forbid, what his “plans for the future” were, he always accepted. Those nights he ate until he was full, and then some. The best times were when he got to take some food with him, a concerned mother noticing how much he was shoveling in his mouth and reacting with concern rather than disgust. Sammy always got all of the leftovers he brought back.
Dean both loved and hated when Sam got an invite to eat dinner at a friends house. Sammy always came back well fed and happy, which was good. But Dean hated listening to Sam going on about how amazing the food was, all the things his friends’ mother made, and how he wished they could have family dinners like that. Dean smiled and gritted his teeth, jealous at the ability of others to better provide meals for Sam than himself, and angry at the undercurrent of criticism of their family that he read in Sam’s exuberant praise of the other families.
Once Sammy came back from Thanksgiving at a friends house practically gushing about how normal and wonderful the holiday had been there. Dean listened to Sam’s praise of this other family, getting angrier and angrier. All he could hear during Sam’s exuberant blow by blow of his close encounter with a real nuclear family holiday was ‘why can’t you make food like that?’ ‘you and Dad aren’t good enough’ ‘I’d be happier with that family than you and Dad.’ After half an hour of listening to how amazing this other family’s Thanksgiving was, Dean snapped. He screamed at a shocked Sam for five minutes, and stormed out of the motel room without waiting for a response. That night was the first time Dean tried to get into a bar on his own, and his childish features got him laughed out the door. It took an embarrassingly short amount of time to find some guys with less qualms about providing alcohol to minors, especially if Dean was willing to do them a favor in return.
When he came back two hours later, Sam was sitting quietly on the couch, head down and eyes red. Sam looked up at Dean with eyes starting to water, and brokenly apologized.
“I’m sorry Dean. I didn’t mean to make you mad. I won’t ever go over there again. Please don’t be angry.”
Dean felt horrible and pulled Sam into his arms making soothing noises.
“It’s okay Sammy. I was upset about something else and took it out on you, I promise, everything’s fine Sammy. You can always go over to friends houses. I’m sorry I yelled.”
Later than night, as Dean watched some Thanksgiving special on TV he could care less about with Sam sleeping on his shoulder, he vowed he’d never let Sam be impacted by their food situation ever again. Sammy came first, and if that meant Dean had to deal with other people feeding Sam better than he could, he’d do it with a smile.
Author's note: According to QSR Web: Wendy’s Value Menu debuted in 1989, wanting a way to get out of the “burger wars” of the late 1980s. “At that time, all of the hamburger chains were going after each other and it escalated to the point where we were seeing 99 cent Whoppers and Big Macs. These prices were on permanent signage, they weren’t being done as a limited-time promotion,” Lynch said. “From (Wendy’s) perspective, the market share battles were so intense that chains were discounting their flagship items.”
So even though Burger King didn’t get a dollar menu until ‘98 and McDonalds didn’t until 2003, Dean would have still been able to find fast food chains selling burgers for $1 as a kid.