(no subject)
GRRRR
I want to leave, like NOW. I want to get the f*ck out of here and go out west. I wonder if I could? I can't of course, I can't even f*cking afford to get food half the time. I have to scrape for gas money. I have a huge debt that I just can't pay. Thanks to f*cking MEIJER I can't even get a 2nd job. I'm SO SICK of this life. The only thing I can think of to do is to write a book and send it into a publisher. Or go to school and get even more in debt.
And YOU --> I'm totally OVER you. But I'm still sick of being a LAST RESORT friend. When I ask to do something with you and you don't want to - but 10 minutes later when someone else asks, you go hang with them. Or I cancel/dont' make plans with someone who actually wants to hang out with me to do something with you - only for you to cancel on ME anyway. Well, never again. I held you in high respect and was a good friend to you - and I don't deserve to be brushed off like I'm nobody. I deserve good friends and I will only hang around people who are good friends.
I'm sooooo tired of my life. I know much of it is my own fault for not going to school and wasting time traveling and such. For staying at Meijer all this time instead of getting a real job or doing what I really wanted to do. But in a way I was kinda stuck at Meijer, and NOW, I'm even more stuck at that f*cking hellhole.
My family hates me.
I wish I could just start all over someplace.... start fresh, a brand new life. Like out west. But I can't do that, because that requires money.
All I do is complain - I know -- but does ANYONE have any suggestions???? I know it's all about my attitude and my mindset... but so difficult to break out of it. Sigh.
I want to leave, like NOW. I want to get the f*ck out of here and go out west. I wonder if I could? I can't of course, I can't even f*cking afford to get food half the time. I have to scrape for gas money. I have a huge debt that I just can't pay. Thanks to f*cking MEIJER I can't even get a 2nd job. I'm SO SICK of this life. The only thing I can think of to do is to write a book and send it into a publisher. Or go to school and get even more in debt.
And YOU --> I'm totally OVER you. But I'm still sick of being a LAST RESORT friend. When I ask to do something with you and you don't want to - but 10 minutes later when someone else asks, you go hang with them. Or I cancel/dont' make plans with someone who actually wants to hang out with me to do something with you - only for you to cancel on ME anyway. Well, never again. I held you in high respect and was a good friend to you - and I don't deserve to be brushed off like I'm nobody. I deserve good friends and I will only hang around people who are good friends.
I'm sooooo tired of my life. I know much of it is my own fault for not going to school and wasting time traveling and such. For staying at Meijer all this time instead of getting a real job or doing what I really wanted to do. But in a way I was kinda stuck at Meijer, and NOW, I'm even more stuck at that f*cking hellhole.
My family hates me.
I wish I could just start all over someplace.... start fresh, a brand new life. Like out west. But I can't do that, because that requires money.
All I do is complain - I know -- but does ANYONE have any suggestions???? I know it's all about my attitude and my mindset... but so difficult to break out of it. Sigh.