(no subject)
You know, there are just certain things in life that really make you think. And I happen to have come across one of those situations very recently. I spent nearly five hours on Monday night walking to a place that I hold very dear and just thinking. I also got a little help from my far away sis (love you Stef), but mostly, I just thought. And I have continued thinking since then.
There is one big conclusion that I have come to. You see, all my life, I have been fortunate and blessed enough to basically have most things handed to me. While money was tight as a young child, I never seriously worried if we would have food on the table or a roof over our heads. And it seems as though everything that I wanted to pursue, I was lucky enough to have some natural skill in. I enjoyed writing, and I was pretty good at it. I enjoyed basketball, and I was pretty good at it. I started getting into music, and it turns out I had some skill in that too. Entering high school, I knew I wanted to play tenors. I looked up to the older guys and knew that that is what I wanted to do. Within a year, I was there, playing tenors. I wanted to be section leader, and then I was. But in all honesty, I would not say that I ever practiced really hard, or drummed for hours everyday. It just sort of came to me. And then I wanted to play drum set. I never formally took lessons or practiced all that much, but it came to me. While I am no Carter Beauford, I would say that I am probably better than 90% of the drummers I see, and that is not to sound boastful at all. I am just lucky enough to have that talent.
Yet, as of late, I have begun to learn that the things that I really want- no one is going to hand them to me. No one is going to come along and give me a record deal. No one is going to come along and give me a car just because I don't have one. Things don't really work that way. And truth be told, recently I have begun to see many of the things that I want slipping through my fingers, one in particular... and it is not because I can't have them. I just seem to have this attitude where I expect things to happen the way I want them to happen. But I have come to find that the things that are most important to me are the things that will require the most work; they will be the hardest to get. Yet, I am tired of sitting and waiting. This is not a declaration of my new goals that I will probably only halfway achieve; this is just for me. This is just to remind myself that the only person who can make things happen for me is me.
I am tired of being let down, tired of feeling like I could have done more. I am ready to do those things in life that really make me happy. Because a very wise person once told me: "Never give up on the things that make you smile."
There is one big conclusion that I have come to. You see, all my life, I have been fortunate and blessed enough to basically have most things handed to me. While money was tight as a young child, I never seriously worried if we would have food on the table or a roof over our heads. And it seems as though everything that I wanted to pursue, I was lucky enough to have some natural skill in. I enjoyed writing, and I was pretty good at it. I enjoyed basketball, and I was pretty good at it. I started getting into music, and it turns out I had some skill in that too. Entering high school, I knew I wanted to play tenors. I looked up to the older guys and knew that that is what I wanted to do. Within a year, I was there, playing tenors. I wanted to be section leader, and then I was. But in all honesty, I would not say that I ever practiced really hard, or drummed for hours everyday. It just sort of came to me. And then I wanted to play drum set. I never formally took lessons or practiced all that much, but it came to me. While I am no Carter Beauford, I would say that I am probably better than 90% of the drummers I see, and that is not to sound boastful at all. I am just lucky enough to have that talent.
Yet, as of late, I have begun to learn that the things that I really want- no one is going to hand them to me. No one is going to come along and give me a record deal. No one is going to come along and give me a car just because I don't have one. Things don't really work that way. And truth be told, recently I have begun to see many of the things that I want slipping through my fingers, one in particular... and it is not because I can't have them. I just seem to have this attitude where I expect things to happen the way I want them to happen. But I have come to find that the things that are most important to me are the things that will require the most work; they will be the hardest to get. Yet, I am tired of sitting and waiting. This is not a declaration of my new goals that I will probably only halfway achieve; this is just for me. This is just to remind myself that the only person who can make things happen for me is me.
I am tired of being let down, tired of feeling like I could have done more. I am ready to do those things in life that really make me happy. Because a very wise person once told me: "Never give up on the things that make you smile."