(no subject)

[dreamingofdepth]

I've decided that I need to be much more focused and self-disciplined than I have been being. I need to be more observant... and basically more in the Now. I should really read The Power of Now... I haven't been meditating. I want to give a talk about life to my bedroom wall just to see what will come out of my mouth and mind... for all of my submerged thoughts to resurface... anything pertinent to anything I want to accomplish right now. I want to be able to meditate for longer than ten seconds again, I want to be able to do yoga for an hour and a half again I want to ask questions to find the answers within myself as a speak aloud to my most important audience member- myself.. (though my pillow and dog and blank white wall are also important) I want to stop worrying about run-on sentences because my message surpasses my grammar... and I want to be ambitious again. Ambition is one of the most important things in life because it is closely linked with motivation and if you have no motivation you have nothing. I commend all of you with it... I have met people with ambition emanating from their bodies and those are the types of people that really change things. I want to be able to stand up for myself without a flinch, hesitation, or bit of remorse when someone looks at me as a sex object and makes it known. The first time I was sexually harassed was in 8th grade and I will not stand by and be degraded like that again- it would be a disservice to both of us. I want to learn every scale on the guitar at least up one string. I want to quit being so freaking self-centered and help other people for their sake, not mine. I am here to serve humanity and God. Through that I will learn all the lessons I need to learn. man, I'm shaking. i want to truly realize that the fact that I have a some-what highly estrogenized face really means absolutely nothing and i need to get over it. I want to be able to get absolutely lost in a sunset again. I want to connect with people and analyze them to see how I can better serve them, instead of criticizing them.
If you don't want to be chased, stop running.