Finally!
At last I have a moment to update. A human being must not be asked to grade 90 practical works and 60 exams in a week.
And my computer at home is finally fixed! A nasty virus didn't let us connect to internet and besides it messed up with the hard drive. But we defeeted it. :P
So now I have time for a decent update... and I'm going to make it a RANT. I know I don't usually rant here, but this is something superior to my forces. Bare with me, please.
Rant nº1: Why is it that I'm married to a man whose only purpose in life is to reproduce himself? A couple of days ago, Rodri and I had a BIG fight about it. It was our first fight in so many time that I don't really remember when it was the last one. All started because I told him that to have a child was my absoulutely LAST priority in life and if I was to submit myself to having one next year it was only because of him.
He practically died. He told me "How could you not love our kid, the product of our love??" and stuff like that. Then I told him that I couldn't love a concept, a mere idea of something that is going to be. Sure I can love a child, but when I see him/her, not when it's just a "project"!
Ww said pretty nasty things to each other. I threatened him with not having childs AT ALL if he kept pestering me with his unhealthy obsession, that I found nothing attractive in the fact of splitting myself like a cell, that I was not his human incubator.
He told me that the only reason he married me was to have childs, that if I didn't want childs at all then he didn't see the point in being married, that before we got married the told me that he wanted to have kids. Well, yes, he told me so. But it's pretty different when your fianceé sweetely tells you "Oh, my love, I would love to have babies with you someday" than when your husbands yells "IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN THEN I'M GOING TO DIVORCE YOU!!"
So... I ended up locked in our bedroom, crying my eyes out and with him knocking on the door begging me to open it. It was like a scene taken straight out of a sitcom or something.
Of course I finally opened the door and then there were apologies from both sides and hugs and kisses and promises. It took a couple of days, but I think I really forgave him. Most of the things he told me I really don't mind. I know there were things said in the heat of the battle. But what really killed me was when he said that he didn't see the point of being married if we didn't have children. So, all we've been through in this two years, all the joys, the problems we faced together, all the laughs and even the tears... are meaningless to him because we don't have kids? That one is not going to be easy to forget.
MEN.
Rant nº2: My dad's financial situation is extremely BAD. He has a lot (and I mean A LOT) of debts and currently he's unemployed so my family is going through a really rough time now. Of course I offered to help, so I'm paying for my little sister's school and my brother's university and I'm also paying a bank loan (one of the many bank loads my dad can't pay).
I don't mind doing this, of course. If my father has so many debts it's mainly because he always gave us the best when we were kids. The best clothes, the best toys, a christmas tree practically buried under presents every year (he used to work for a bank, so he had a pretty good income). So I'm just merely returning all this to him.
But today I got an email from him with this subject: "Confession". I shuddered, of course.
And in this mail he told me that he was expecting to get some money for a new credit account in a bank (and the fact that he was applying for a new credic account shows just how much he DON'T know how to handle his financial situation). Sadly, the bank didn't aproved the credit due to his financial records (oh, BIG surprise, GO FIGURE, DAD). But he THOUGHT they were going to give him the credit, so he happily spent the money for the last two months of my brother's university and my sister's school!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK.
I know he didn't waste it on cigarretes or books. As I said, he has a lot of other stuff to pay so he prolly payed another debt with the money. But THAT MONEY WAS FOR MY BROTHER AND SISTER'S EDUCATION. And now he has a NEW debt with the school and the university that I WILL HAVE TO PAY too.
In the mail he says he's very sorry, that he know he did wrong, that he's so overwhelmed. I really, really feel sorry for him. But at the same time I feel so helpless!! I do everything I can but it never seems to be enough! A big part of my salary goes straight to him but it's like a drop of water on the desert!
I really wanted to cry after reading the mail. I haven't answered yet. I'll do it in a while because I'm still upset and I know I need to cool off.
MEN!!!
And I could even do a rant nº3 (my other sister has her life screwed up right now) but I think I better shut up.
I promise the next update will be something nice and happy, just the way my updates usually are.
And my computer at home is finally fixed! A nasty virus didn't let us connect to internet and besides it messed up with the hard drive. But we defeeted it. :P
So now I have time for a decent update... and I'm going to make it a RANT. I know I don't usually rant here, but this is something superior to my forces. Bare with me, please.
Rant nº1: Why is it that I'm married to a man whose only purpose in life is to reproduce himself? A couple of days ago, Rodri and I had a BIG fight about it. It was our first fight in so many time that I don't really remember when it was the last one. All started because I told him that to have a child was my absoulutely LAST priority in life and if I was to submit myself to having one next year it was only because of him.
He practically died. He told me "How could you not love our kid, the product of our love??" and stuff like that. Then I told him that I couldn't love a concept, a mere idea of something that is going to be. Sure I can love a child, but when I see him/her, not when it's just a "project"!
Ww said pretty nasty things to each other. I threatened him with not having childs AT ALL if he kept pestering me with his unhealthy obsession, that I found nothing attractive in the fact of splitting myself like a cell, that I was not his human incubator.
He told me that the only reason he married me was to have childs, that if I didn't want childs at all then he didn't see the point in being married, that before we got married the told me that he wanted to have kids. Well, yes, he told me so. But it's pretty different when your fianceé sweetely tells you "Oh, my love, I would love to have babies with you someday" than when your husbands yells "IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN THEN I'M GOING TO DIVORCE YOU!!"
So... I ended up locked in our bedroom, crying my eyes out and with him knocking on the door begging me to open it. It was like a scene taken straight out of a sitcom or something.
Of course I finally opened the door and then there were apologies from both sides and hugs and kisses and promises. It took a couple of days, but I think I really forgave him. Most of the things he told me I really don't mind. I know there were things said in the heat of the battle. But what really killed me was when he said that he didn't see the point of being married if we didn't have children. So, all we've been through in this two years, all the joys, the problems we faced together, all the laughs and even the tears... are meaningless to him because we don't have kids? That one is not going to be easy to forget.
MEN.
Rant nº2: My dad's financial situation is extremely BAD. He has a lot (and I mean A LOT) of debts and currently he's unemployed so my family is going through a really rough time now. Of course I offered to help, so I'm paying for my little sister's school and my brother's university and I'm also paying a bank loan (one of the many bank loads my dad can't pay).
I don't mind doing this, of course. If my father has so many debts it's mainly because he always gave us the best when we were kids. The best clothes, the best toys, a christmas tree practically buried under presents every year (he used to work for a bank, so he had a pretty good income). So I'm just merely returning all this to him.
But today I got an email from him with this subject: "Confession". I shuddered, of course.
And in this mail he told me that he was expecting to get some money for a new credit account in a bank (and the fact that he was applying for a new credic account shows just how much he DON'T know how to handle his financial situation). Sadly, the bank didn't aproved the credit due to his financial records (oh, BIG surprise, GO FIGURE, DAD). But he THOUGHT they were going to give him the credit, so he happily spent the money for the last two months of my brother's university and my sister's school!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK.
I know he didn't waste it on cigarretes or books. As I said, he has a lot of other stuff to pay so he prolly payed another debt with the money. But THAT MONEY WAS FOR MY BROTHER AND SISTER'S EDUCATION. And now he has a NEW debt with the school and the university that I WILL HAVE TO PAY too.
In the mail he says he's very sorry, that he know he did wrong, that he's so overwhelmed. I really, really feel sorry for him. But at the same time I feel so helpless!! I do everything I can but it never seems to be enough! A big part of my salary goes straight to him but it's like a drop of water on the desert!
I really wanted to cry after reading the mail. I haven't answered yet. I'll do it in a while because I'm still upset and I know I need to cool off.
MEN!!!
And I could even do a rant nº3 (my other sister has her life screwed up right now) but I think I better shut up.
I promise the next update will be something nice and happy, just the way my updates usually are.