After demoralising midyears; and a note to self.
Whew, realised that I should get my lj up and running again whenever I have the time!
Today just marked the last day of my midterms, and I'm at one point, know I'm gonna do badly for this, despite studying for it and somehow disappointed in myself for last minute studying again.
Human nature, breeds laziness isn't it.
Although it's like, about 4 months to my final major A's, I'm really getting worn out and sometimes, I really wonder and ask myself,
"Am I doing my best?"
"Am I really putting in my best effort?"
You know the feeling of, like you know that you have to do something about it, but in the end you just don't.
I'm getting tired with this kind of me, and to be honest I can't really pen down my thoughts coherently now as they are all jumbled up in my head, fighting for release (in this entry, of course LUL.)
And the fact that you have tuition and you still did badly.
Fuck.
I'm getting tired of living like this, studying like this. Why do I feel that I'm just doing what I needed to do, and not what I wanted to do? I mean, I like learning new things, but when it comes to application of the materials learnt to essays or case studies or problems sums, why do I find it difficult to do them?
"Lack of practice, it must be."
And the harsh reality that I don't do anything about it, and even if I do, it's always last minute. Always.
When will I really learn my lesson, and start doing shit and clearing all of my shit scattered all over the place... (._.)
Aren't all the lessons that I'd experienced not enough for me? I need to see the light somehow, in order to guide myself to the end of the tunnel, and of course seeing what I wanted to see at the end of it.
That should be your main objective girl.
I guess so, and it's time to start again, and pick myself up, piece by piece.
I'm going to follow my priority list, and do whatever I can, to avoid feeling like what I felt for this midterms week.
Yes, I'm so going to get this fucking piece of shit over and done with, and give it the best screw that I can.
Sounded wrong, but well the meaning is there.
"I won't allow myself to regret anything at all at the end of my journey, as I have given my best shot and come out as a stronger, braver person."
That's what I want.
Yes, it is what I want and I will achieve it.
Today just marked the last day of my midterms, and I'm at one point, know I'm gonna do badly for this, despite studying for it and somehow disappointed in myself for last minute studying again.
Human nature, breeds laziness isn't it.
Although it's like, about 4 months to my final major A's, I'm really getting worn out and sometimes, I really wonder and ask myself,
"Am I doing my best?"
"Am I really putting in my best effort?"
You know the feeling of, like you know that you have to do something about it, but in the end you just don't.
I'm getting tired with this kind of me, and to be honest I can't really pen down my thoughts coherently now as they are all jumbled up in my head, fighting for release (in this entry, of course LUL.)
And the fact that you have tuition and you still did badly.
Fuck.
I'm getting tired of living like this, studying like this. Why do I feel that I'm just doing what I needed to do, and not what I wanted to do? I mean, I like learning new things, but when it comes to application of the materials learnt to essays or case studies or problems sums, why do I find it difficult to do them?
"Lack of practice, it must be."
And the harsh reality that I don't do anything about it, and even if I do, it's always last minute. Always.
When will I really learn my lesson, and start doing shit and clearing all of my shit scattered all over the place... (._.)
Aren't all the lessons that I'd experienced not enough for me? I need to see the light somehow, in order to guide myself to the end of the tunnel, and of course seeing what I wanted to see at the end of it.
That should be your main objective girl.
I guess so, and it's time to start again, and pick myself up, piece by piece.
I'm going to follow my priority list, and do whatever I can, to avoid feeling like what I felt for this midterms week.
Yes, I'm so going to get this fucking piece of shit over and done with, and give it the best screw that I can.
Sounded wrong, but well the meaning is there.
"I won't allow myself to regret anything at all at the end of my journey, as I have given my best shot and come out as a stronger, braver person."
That's what I want.
Yes, it is what I want and I will achieve it.