HoMin Comm Fic Exchange
Okay, so, I'm posting this here first to get some feedback before I actually have to post it to the comm for the exchange. I'm kinda terrified that the person who requested the prompt won't like it, so I wanted to see what all of you thought first. So, pleeeeeeease~~ let me know what you think, 'kay? ^_^
Title: Solid Foundation
Rating: Basically PG
Genre: Fluff, with a smattering of angst
Prompt: butterfly kisses and chocolate chip cookies
Word Count: 2287
Solid Foundation
It starts like this.
A horrible rehearsal, pre-Yoochun, post-formation of Dong Bang Shin Ki. Jaejoong’s got the voice. Yunho’s got the dance moves. Junsu’s pretty much untouchable in just about everything. They’ve trained and hoped for this for years, left their homes and families to follow a dream.
You kind of just fell into this, happened to be in the right place at the right time to pursue something you’d never considered before. You stumble over dance steps, your oversized feet and too-long limbs too much of a hindrance. This is when you’re still shorter than all of them, still hoping for a serious growth spurt to fit your skinny arms and legs better.
You forget your simple lyrics, hit your notes either too sharp or too flat. The longer the rehearsal drags on, the more discouraged you get. You’re not made for this, not like them. When the instructor finally calls time, you grab your bag and practically run from the room. You don’t want to stick around to see the disappointment on their faces.
~*~
The four of you live together now, a two-bedroom apartment on the opposite end of Seoul from your home. You miss your parents, your sisters, your own bed, your privacy. Yunho had apparently been living with Junsu even before this, so they share one of the bedrooms. This leaves you with the beautiful but cold-looking Jaejoong.
He doesn’t talk to you much. None of them do. They’ve known each other for years, so you can understand them being less than inclusive. You’re younger and from the outside; you really don’t blame them at all. Doesn’t make you feel any less lonely.
There are three beds in the room you share with Jaejoong. You sit on your bed doing homework and contemplate the extra bed across the room between algebra problems and English grammar exercises. Jaejoong catches you staring once, sits next to and stares with you. After a few moments of silence, he speaks in his soft, melodic voice. “A group has to be five. We’ve got three high voices and only one low. They’ll be bringing in someone else eventually. Soon, hopefully.”
He doesn’t wait for a response, just claps a hand to your shoulder as he stands and walks out.
~*~
Yoochun arrives, fresh from America, a couple weeks later. At first, you rejoice when you find out he’s had no more training than you. If anything, he’s had less. Then you hear him the first time. He sings with his whole heart and soul, voice smoky and gravelly. It seems like music just pours from him naturally, and the dream is even more deeply embedded in him than the other three. It’s all he’s dreamed about his whole life.
You don’t know why you’re here anymore.
~*~
This is when it starts.
You’re the last one out after rehearsal one day. You tell them you’re going to take a shower then go home and visit your family. You find a quiet corner rehearsal room and go over the dance steps again, and again, and again. The muscles in your legs shake, your lungs heave in an attempt to get enough air, but you refuse to stop. It’s not good enough. Not yet.
You don’t know how long you go on like that. It could be hours. You take a quick break to grab some water, and the door swings open slowly. Yunho takes a few steps into the room then just stops to look at you. “One of the instructors called the apartment, said you were still here. Jaejoong, of course, went into full Umma-mode and told me to get down here. What’s going on, Changmin-ah?” This is before you were Min or Minnie, before you were really comfortable with the idea of having hyungs at all. The five of you were still figuring out how you were going to fit together.
“It’s… It’s nothing. I just wanted to get some extra practice in. I’m having some problems with these moves, and I just- I wanted to get them right. I… I don’t think my body’s made for this.” You blush and look up at him through your eyelashes, not sure how to look him in the eye.
He crosses the room and starts packing all your stuff back into your bag. When everything is packed and zipped, he stands up and takes your hand. “You’ve been here for five hours, Changmin. That’s five hours on top of the three we had as a group. You’ll get it. You will, eventually. But not like this, not when you’re exhausted and strained.” He flashes a bright smile at you before pulling you towards the door. “Come on, Changmin. Let’s go home.”
~*~
You refuse to cry in bed, in the bedroom at all, even when you’re absolutely positive the others are sound asleep. They’re too close in proximity and still too distant emotionally. You can’t stand the thought of them discovering you like that, at your most defenseless.
Sitting at the kitchen table, a glass of lukewarm tea cupped in your hands, the tears start rolling down your cheeks. It’s not long before you’re outright sobbing, your face buried in your crossed arms on the table to muffle the noise. Too much for too long and you’re breaking apart. You don’t belong here, don’t know why you thought you could make this work. They deserve to have someone better than you in this spot.
You’re not sure when the strong arms wrapped around you, but when you calm down, you realize you’re being cradled against a solid chest. The t-shirt under your face is soaked with tears, and your breath hitches with the aftermath of the breakdown. Large hands hold you close and stroke through your hair, relaxing you even more completely.
Finally, you look up into Yunho’s warm brown eyes. He smiles softly at you and smoothes your bangs away from your face. “I- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get carried away like that.”
He shakes his head as he looks down at you. “You don’t have to apologize, Changmin. You’ve been pushing yourself so hard for so long, it was really just a matter of time before you collapsed under it. Honestly, we’ve all been counting the days just waiting for it.”
His observation makes you blush, upset that they had noticed how wrong you really were for this group. You lower your eyes to escape Yunho’s gaze, but he lifts up your chin to make you look at him again. “I’m not saying it in a bad way, Changmin. Not at all. We watch you, amazed at the things you do. And then you insist it’s not good enough, that you have to work harder, that you have to do more. You put so much pressure on yourself, Min, to levels that would drive anyone else absolutely insane.”
You want to point out the flaws in his statement, that you have to try so hard because you can’t hit the notes or move his body as naturally as the others, but that would essentially be calling Yunho a liar. Instead, you sigh and choose to comment on something else. “You called me Min…”
Yunho blushes lightly as he grins at you. “Yeah. I guess, well, you are our dongsaeng now. And I think, if any of us have our way, we’re going to be around as a group for a long time. So we might as well get a little less formal with each other, right?”
You can’t resist his goofy smile and find yourself actually smiling along. Rather than verbally replying, though, you choose to lay your head back down onto his shoulder. He, in turn, rests his forehead against your temple. “You’ll be okay, Min. We all will.” He flutters his eyelashes against your cheek, and you can’t prevent the giggle that escapes.
“What was that?”
You can practically see the smile in his voice. “My mom used to do that to me all the time when I was a kid, her way of making me feel better whenever I was upset. She called them butterfly kisses, because it supposedly feels like butterfly wings on your skin. It never failed to get a smile out of me.” You feel the movement again and understand.
~*~
Life soon becomes a whirl-wind of activity. Dong Bang Shin Ki officially debuts then hardly gets a break after that. The other four become your hyungs in more than just name. They take care of you, become your support system, when you start feeling most vulnerable and insecure. Yunho, especially, seems to know exactly when you need a secure hug and butterfly kisses against your cheeks or neck.
After injuries, after illnesses, after accidents and mess-ups and anti-fans, after a new start in a strange country, after finding your niche then losing it again… Every time, he holds you just the same, strong and safe and full of flickering eyelashes against your skin. Every time, no matter how upset you are, the familiar motion drags a smile from your lips.
He listens when you don’t want to speak, holds you when you don’t want to be comforted, looks when you don’t want to be seen.
~*~
It really begins like this.
A rare day off and an even rarer urge to make food for yourself. Normally, you’d be begging Jaejoong for whatever your current craving may be, but you’re feeling abnormally self-sufficient today. And you want chocolate chip cookies.
You wake up early, look up a recipe on the internet before heading to the store to the gather any ingredients not normally kept in the apartment. By the time you get back, the others are up and off to whatever plans they have for the day. Junsu is spending the day with his brother, Yoochun with his mother and brother, Jaejoong with a non-celebrity friend. Yunho hadn’t said anything about his plans, so you’re not sure where he is or what he’s doing.
You stand at the kitchen counter and begin mixing the ingredients together, making sure to go back and check the printed-out recipe after every step just to make sure you don’t mess anything up. You hadn’t realized how complicated plain chocolate chip cookies could be, but it tells you to mix certain ingredients in a smaller, others in a larger bowl, then mix those together before adding something else.
Once everything is mixed together, it looks vaguely like you remember chocolate chip cookie dough. You scoop a little out with your fingers, just to test, and it doesn’t taste bad either. In the middle of dishing out little mounds of dough onto the baking sheet, solid arms wrap around your waist as a chin rests on your shoulder from behind. You jump a little before the familiar feeling of soft eyelashes against your neck. Smiling softly, you lean back against the firm body. “Good morning, Yunho.”
“Mm-hm…” His arms tighten, and he nuzzles into your neck. Giggling, you roll your shoulder back to stop the tickling movement. It feels too comfortable, too easy, too natural just standing here with him like this. “So, what’re you making?”
“Cookies. I had a craving, wanted to try making them myself. I… think they’re going okay.” You feel his lips quirk up into a smile, and your stomach flips over. It’s been building for some time, you think, but you had always pushed the realization away in favor of… not realizing. So you ignore the gymnastics team in your digestive track and continue plopping cookie dough on the pan.
Yunho presses his fingers against your sides in a mimicry of piano-playing, and you suppress a shudder. “I think I have a confession to make,” he whispers. You hum a soft encouragement to continue the thought. “Min… I think I may like this just a little too much.”
Your hands still as you forget momentarily how to breathe. “Oh? And… what, exactly, is the ‘this’ that you’re liking?” You try to sound nonchalant, mildly curious without too much undue hope behind it. You’re not sure how well you succeed, but Yunho doesn’t comment on it.
“This, Min. You and me, just like this. I…” He trails off, and you continue holding your breath. “I’ve always wanted to take care of you. And now, I’m thinking it may be more than that. There are times when I hold you like this that I think I just never want to let you go. And that’s wrong, right? It should be wrong to feel the way I do.”
You don’t move, can’t seem to process what he’s actually just said to you. Shaking lightly, you turn around in his arms to really look at him. “You- You’re serious? I… You really mean it, right?”
He stares into your eyes, reaches up to cup your cheeks in his hands. “Would I joke about this, Min? With you, of all people? I’ve always been honest with you, about everything. And I just, I couldn’t imagine keeping this to myself any longer.”
You stare back at him, and it’s right, and it makes you feel complete in the way you only feel with him. Reveling in the feeling of his hands on your face, you lean forward slowly.
This is how it starts.
A tentative kiss, soft lips barely touching. Not moving, afraid it will all disappear if you do. This his hands hold you more firmly, pull you closer, until you’re leaning against the counter behind you with him all around you. He’s what you need, what you’ve always needed, before you even knew what you wanted.
And that. That is how it starts.
Title: Solid Foundation
Rating: Basically PG
Genre: Fluff, with a smattering of angst
Prompt: butterfly kisses and chocolate chip cookies
Word Count: 2287
Solid Foundation
It starts like this.
A horrible rehearsal, pre-Yoochun, post-formation of Dong Bang Shin Ki. Jaejoong’s got the voice. Yunho’s got the dance moves. Junsu’s pretty much untouchable in just about everything. They’ve trained and hoped for this for years, left their homes and families to follow a dream.
You kind of just fell into this, happened to be in the right place at the right time to pursue something you’d never considered before. You stumble over dance steps, your oversized feet and too-long limbs too much of a hindrance. This is when you’re still shorter than all of them, still hoping for a serious growth spurt to fit your skinny arms and legs better.
You forget your simple lyrics, hit your notes either too sharp or too flat. The longer the rehearsal drags on, the more discouraged you get. You’re not made for this, not like them. When the instructor finally calls time, you grab your bag and practically run from the room. You don’t want to stick around to see the disappointment on their faces.
~*~
The four of you live together now, a two-bedroom apartment on the opposite end of Seoul from your home. You miss your parents, your sisters, your own bed, your privacy. Yunho had apparently been living with Junsu even before this, so they share one of the bedrooms. This leaves you with the beautiful but cold-looking Jaejoong.
He doesn’t talk to you much. None of them do. They’ve known each other for years, so you can understand them being less than inclusive. You’re younger and from the outside; you really don’t blame them at all. Doesn’t make you feel any less lonely.
There are three beds in the room you share with Jaejoong. You sit on your bed doing homework and contemplate the extra bed across the room between algebra problems and English grammar exercises. Jaejoong catches you staring once, sits next to and stares with you. After a few moments of silence, he speaks in his soft, melodic voice. “A group has to be five. We’ve got three high voices and only one low. They’ll be bringing in someone else eventually. Soon, hopefully.”
He doesn’t wait for a response, just claps a hand to your shoulder as he stands and walks out.
~*~
Yoochun arrives, fresh from America, a couple weeks later. At first, you rejoice when you find out he’s had no more training than you. If anything, he’s had less. Then you hear him the first time. He sings with his whole heart and soul, voice smoky and gravelly. It seems like music just pours from him naturally, and the dream is even more deeply embedded in him than the other three. It’s all he’s dreamed about his whole life.
You don’t know why you’re here anymore.
~*~
This is when it starts.
You’re the last one out after rehearsal one day. You tell them you’re going to take a shower then go home and visit your family. You find a quiet corner rehearsal room and go over the dance steps again, and again, and again. The muscles in your legs shake, your lungs heave in an attempt to get enough air, but you refuse to stop. It’s not good enough. Not yet.
You don’t know how long you go on like that. It could be hours. You take a quick break to grab some water, and the door swings open slowly. Yunho takes a few steps into the room then just stops to look at you. “One of the instructors called the apartment, said you were still here. Jaejoong, of course, went into full Umma-mode and told me to get down here. What’s going on, Changmin-ah?” This is before you were Min or Minnie, before you were really comfortable with the idea of having hyungs at all. The five of you were still figuring out how you were going to fit together.
“It’s… It’s nothing. I just wanted to get some extra practice in. I’m having some problems with these moves, and I just- I wanted to get them right. I… I don’t think my body’s made for this.” You blush and look up at him through your eyelashes, not sure how to look him in the eye.
He crosses the room and starts packing all your stuff back into your bag. When everything is packed and zipped, he stands up and takes your hand. “You’ve been here for five hours, Changmin. That’s five hours on top of the three we had as a group. You’ll get it. You will, eventually. But not like this, not when you’re exhausted and strained.” He flashes a bright smile at you before pulling you towards the door. “Come on, Changmin. Let’s go home.”
~*~
You refuse to cry in bed, in the bedroom at all, even when you’re absolutely positive the others are sound asleep. They’re too close in proximity and still too distant emotionally. You can’t stand the thought of them discovering you like that, at your most defenseless.
Sitting at the kitchen table, a glass of lukewarm tea cupped in your hands, the tears start rolling down your cheeks. It’s not long before you’re outright sobbing, your face buried in your crossed arms on the table to muffle the noise. Too much for too long and you’re breaking apart. You don’t belong here, don’t know why you thought you could make this work. They deserve to have someone better than you in this spot.
You’re not sure when the strong arms wrapped around you, but when you calm down, you realize you’re being cradled against a solid chest. The t-shirt under your face is soaked with tears, and your breath hitches with the aftermath of the breakdown. Large hands hold you close and stroke through your hair, relaxing you even more completely.
Finally, you look up into Yunho’s warm brown eyes. He smiles softly at you and smoothes your bangs away from your face. “I- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get carried away like that.”
He shakes his head as he looks down at you. “You don’t have to apologize, Changmin. You’ve been pushing yourself so hard for so long, it was really just a matter of time before you collapsed under it. Honestly, we’ve all been counting the days just waiting for it.”
His observation makes you blush, upset that they had noticed how wrong you really were for this group. You lower your eyes to escape Yunho’s gaze, but he lifts up your chin to make you look at him again. “I’m not saying it in a bad way, Changmin. Not at all. We watch you, amazed at the things you do. And then you insist it’s not good enough, that you have to work harder, that you have to do more. You put so much pressure on yourself, Min, to levels that would drive anyone else absolutely insane.”
You want to point out the flaws in his statement, that you have to try so hard because you can’t hit the notes or move his body as naturally as the others, but that would essentially be calling Yunho a liar. Instead, you sigh and choose to comment on something else. “You called me Min…”
Yunho blushes lightly as he grins at you. “Yeah. I guess, well, you are our dongsaeng now. And I think, if any of us have our way, we’re going to be around as a group for a long time. So we might as well get a little less formal with each other, right?”
You can’t resist his goofy smile and find yourself actually smiling along. Rather than verbally replying, though, you choose to lay your head back down onto his shoulder. He, in turn, rests his forehead against your temple. “You’ll be okay, Min. We all will.” He flutters his eyelashes against your cheek, and you can’t prevent the giggle that escapes.
“What was that?”
You can practically see the smile in his voice. “My mom used to do that to me all the time when I was a kid, her way of making me feel better whenever I was upset. She called them butterfly kisses, because it supposedly feels like butterfly wings on your skin. It never failed to get a smile out of me.” You feel the movement again and understand.
~*~
Life soon becomes a whirl-wind of activity. Dong Bang Shin Ki officially debuts then hardly gets a break after that. The other four become your hyungs in more than just name. They take care of you, become your support system, when you start feeling most vulnerable and insecure. Yunho, especially, seems to know exactly when you need a secure hug and butterfly kisses against your cheeks or neck.
After injuries, after illnesses, after accidents and mess-ups and anti-fans, after a new start in a strange country, after finding your niche then losing it again… Every time, he holds you just the same, strong and safe and full of flickering eyelashes against your skin. Every time, no matter how upset you are, the familiar motion drags a smile from your lips.
He listens when you don’t want to speak, holds you when you don’t want to be comforted, looks when you don’t want to be seen.
~*~
It really begins like this.
A rare day off and an even rarer urge to make food for yourself. Normally, you’d be begging Jaejoong for whatever your current craving may be, but you’re feeling abnormally self-sufficient today. And you want chocolate chip cookies.
You wake up early, look up a recipe on the internet before heading to the store to the gather any ingredients not normally kept in the apartment. By the time you get back, the others are up and off to whatever plans they have for the day. Junsu is spending the day with his brother, Yoochun with his mother and brother, Jaejoong with a non-celebrity friend. Yunho hadn’t said anything about his plans, so you’re not sure where he is or what he’s doing.
You stand at the kitchen counter and begin mixing the ingredients together, making sure to go back and check the printed-out recipe after every step just to make sure you don’t mess anything up. You hadn’t realized how complicated plain chocolate chip cookies could be, but it tells you to mix certain ingredients in a smaller, others in a larger bowl, then mix those together before adding something else.
Once everything is mixed together, it looks vaguely like you remember chocolate chip cookie dough. You scoop a little out with your fingers, just to test, and it doesn’t taste bad either. In the middle of dishing out little mounds of dough onto the baking sheet, solid arms wrap around your waist as a chin rests on your shoulder from behind. You jump a little before the familiar feeling of soft eyelashes against your neck. Smiling softly, you lean back against the firm body. “Good morning, Yunho.”
“Mm-hm…” His arms tighten, and he nuzzles into your neck. Giggling, you roll your shoulder back to stop the tickling movement. It feels too comfortable, too easy, too natural just standing here with him like this. “So, what’re you making?”
“Cookies. I had a craving, wanted to try making them myself. I… think they’re going okay.” You feel his lips quirk up into a smile, and your stomach flips over. It’s been building for some time, you think, but you had always pushed the realization away in favor of… not realizing. So you ignore the gymnastics team in your digestive track and continue plopping cookie dough on the pan.
Yunho presses his fingers against your sides in a mimicry of piano-playing, and you suppress a shudder. “I think I have a confession to make,” he whispers. You hum a soft encouragement to continue the thought. “Min… I think I may like this just a little too much.”
Your hands still as you forget momentarily how to breathe. “Oh? And… what, exactly, is the ‘this’ that you’re liking?” You try to sound nonchalant, mildly curious without too much undue hope behind it. You’re not sure how well you succeed, but Yunho doesn’t comment on it.
“This, Min. You and me, just like this. I…” He trails off, and you continue holding your breath. “I’ve always wanted to take care of you. And now, I’m thinking it may be more than that. There are times when I hold you like this that I think I just never want to let you go. And that’s wrong, right? It should be wrong to feel the way I do.”
You don’t move, can’t seem to process what he’s actually just said to you. Shaking lightly, you turn around in his arms to really look at him. “You- You’re serious? I… You really mean it, right?”
He stares into your eyes, reaches up to cup your cheeks in his hands. “Would I joke about this, Min? With you, of all people? I’ve always been honest with you, about everything. And I just, I couldn’t imagine keeping this to myself any longer.”
You stare back at him, and it’s right, and it makes you feel complete in the way you only feel with him. Reveling in the feeling of his hands on your face, you lean forward slowly.
This is how it starts.
A tentative kiss, soft lips barely touching. Not moving, afraid it will all disappear if you do. This his hands hold you more firmly, pull you closer, until you’re leaning against the counter behind you with him all around you. He’s what you need, what you’ve always needed, before you even knew what you wanted.
And that. That is how it starts.