Comments | dreaming_col: [_starcandy Challenge] In Shadows

dreaming_col

[_starcandy Challenge] In Shadows

Feb 01, 2013 18:15

Title: In Shadows
Rating: PG
Genre: general (I honestly have no idea on this one... :/)
Prompt: #43: Flowers
Word Count: 726
Notes: Had an awful day yesterday. This was meant to be a piece for me to take out all my frustrations on poor Changminnie. Instead, when I started writing, my muse latched onto my melancholy rather than my anger. So this ( Read more... )

starcandy challenge, one-shot, jaemin, fiction

Comments 6

rennie_88 February 2 2013, 07:00:16 UTC

oo this was lovely~ :) poetic with a sad sort of detachment ...?? not angst.. but like wistful sad? and like a moment of purposeful nothingness to juts 'be' as he's trying to avoid recognizing something bad that happened?
i really liked the flow of it tho, the questions/curiosity at the beginning, until the end where i think we get a glimpse of what's going on. i'm curious if u had an exact idea in mind or if u left it open and ambiguous so each reader can kinda make up their own option?
i like how u did the italicized parts versus the normal type to give us information of what was going on too. overall it was satisfying and sweet with jaejoong's confession at the end bringing him back :)

dreaming_col February 2 2013, 12:39:30 UTC

Aww, yay! Glad you thought so. That's definitely the tone I was kinda... well, I can't say 'going for' since this just kinda popped up from nowhere. But still. You know what I mean. XD
Honestly, I had no clue what was going on when I first started writing it. I was just putting the words down and seeing where it would go. By the end, though, I had a pretty clear of what had happened and what was happening. But I did also want to leave it somewhat ambiguous for people to fill in their own blanks as well. ^^
Strange that, considering my mood when writing this, it ultimately turned out 'sweet'... O_o

kratynoi February 2 2013, 07:22:04 UTC

Ohh~~ very interesting. I do love the beginning of it. The descriptions are a combination of being vivid enough to give you a hint as to what could possibly be happening but vague and dreamlike enough to where you're kinda guessing still.

I think the love declaration was a little abrupt or slightly out of place for me. But I guess it kinda fits with the mood you're going for. And I think the melancholic mood is conveyed quite nicely through here.

And yay~~! More JaeMin from you~!!!! ♥

dreaming_col February 2 2013, 12:36:08 UTC

Yay~! Glad it wasn't just hopelessly confusing... XD

Ahh, I guess the confession did come up quickly. I tried to portray the fact that a lot of time had actually passed, that Jae had been talking to Min for a while by then and was finally at the point that it was just his last ditch effort. Guess that's a bit hard to show in 700 words, though... :/

kratynoi February 4 2013, 20:54:30 UTC

Lol, suppose so. It is hard to cohesively put together a story in less than 700 words and make it not sound rushed.

And no~ not confusing. Well, I mean, there is that sense of mystery in terms of what's actually happening. But I think that's what you were trying to go for, right? So it lends itself to the story. We know enough to kinda figure out what's going on.

dreaming_col February 6 2013, 10:55:14 UTC

Very true. I at first worried about hitting that 500-word minimum mark, but after my first one, I realized that that's not really as much as you'd think... XD

Pretty much exactly what I was going for~~ I wanted enough clues that people could kinda figure out where I was pointing with it, but I didn't want to completely spell it out either. ^^