(no subject)
i thought i should mention the recent health issue i've had to deal with, just because i can and was inspired by this .
Mostly when growing up it starts with, "hey Suzy, you, start to notice some things are changing, your getting older, your body is changing and you growing hair in weird places, and you get a visit from your aunt flow. Well suzy we call this PUBERTY". I've always wondered why we never got to see a copy of one of these old school sex ed videos, seen alot of spoofs where Billy notices a girl and then pitches a tent. I probably was exposed to it somewhere in the elementary, i remember i having some sort of sex ed back then.
[moment of tangent]
Must my University one of the most prestigious philippine universities, be a catholic one. must it. producing president,senators and the future leaders of this country, while being slightly subconsciously brainwashed into creating a non secular government where people are questioning and being in denial that the philippines has a population control. While being advised over family planning by priest who 1. are not impregnated by rapists, 2. think they control our free will or we will go to hell, and 3. are seemingly advocating ignorance. Yes, i am one of the many liberal people in ateneo, me, erika and my friend jacky. 2 agnostics and a atheist. who our fourth friend is the awesomely non brainwashed conservative catholic. yes me and erika ranted about this the other day, of how our university , being a jesuit university is against the resent philippine reproduction health bill. Which is sex ed forever one. it is not forcing condoms on people, only to tell them about it. Having the same sort of education i had. 5th grade, puberty education, 6-7th grade biological and open questions, 8-10th grade contraception and STDS. I <3 thinking about how this bill promotes freedom of choice, one step closer to making children realize that they have the freedom to do anything they want to that is their human right. As i hope that future politicians are not all going to be corrupt and use gov't funding to fix road but only to the one to their town house. T-T It depresses me that our country is like that. Though ateneo are basically filled with apathetic towards the philippines, and its politics. alas i think staying in the philippines too long has done to me. I've become an UBER nationalist . woot
[end tangent]
Denied to the fact that i am a liberal, and that my mom hides the fact she is a extremely convservative catholic to me and my fellow siblings whoare apathetic, non practicing roman catholic (i only say that because 1. we were baptisted 2. forced to be confirmed)
I think that was the only stipulation my mom knew as a catholic she must do to her kids, to make sure they get into heaven and can be married in church. Which finally brings me to the article if posted way way above. I started way way wayyy back when i was like 8 or 9. which was really young. somehow now looking about that finding a gynocologist in Saudi Arabia was actually quite easy. yes my time of the month was never normal, off and on. it came one day came back the following month. which i though how it was suppose to happen. but no all lies. so after that 6 years , 6 blissful years of not having to deal with cramps, stained clothes, extreme anger to anyone who attempts to poke ya. (and not that type of poking) so yes, i had finally gone to the doctor for my mysterious happiness fom lack of period, becuase its abnormal to be so. you would think that makati med would have a quite a large place for thier ultra sound area. but they dont. It is a small area about enough to fit 20 people at most inside. let me give you tiny mental visual of room. you go into the glassed door to your left is wall to your right is 5 chair. 2 up against the wall with the door you came through and three to the further most wall. then a tiny only 2 persons can go through space seperates you and the wall and the counter where the reception is, which the counter was about waist high. at the counter 3 unnessary repectionist sit as only one of them is talking to us and taking calls. directly beside the counter is the mirror image of the the 5 chiar waiting area to the women waiting are. mind you this is all open for everone to see. so what i am getting at was suprisingly people in gowns were just sitting next to me. becuase the bathroom was directly infront of this sitting area and exposed to 1. the out sile of the the ultra sound room by glass door and window, and the familiy members sitting and waiting in the other waiting area. sigh. so ya i found a guy who was there who was epicly my type , a big guy with tattooss and had a very nerd-esk to him. now that i think about it my type is starting to resemble silent bob if he was in a rock band. lol . yes so i came out in gown, with may i say 4 guys who cud see me in my gown, counting guy who was very my type. Yes the guy was there for his baby's momma, though i cud have delusioned and forced denial that he was really just the brother being awesomely nice and the time we had was special. but alas it was him his folks the girl and the girls mom. so ya . very much denied.
after the ultra sound my news was that the i did not have cancer. my ovaries were find and so was my uterus, i just did not have enough hormones in me to continue the cycle. How my doctor explained it so that a 3 year old would understand. led me to ask.
Me: So, my health is not at risk, since its not canerous, Can i continue living how i was and choose to not have kids?
Doctor: You are still your, in 10 years time you mind will change?
ME: I am ok with not having kids there are other alternatives, i could adopt.
Doctor: i know you want to have kids! IN TEN YEARS YOU WILL WANT KIDS!!
ME:....
The liberal feminist in me, knew that it was not harmful that she was somehow avoiding to telling me becuase of some chrisitan values. It was probably how i was asking her and the interpretation of her anwer but she never did answer me, what concluded was that my fertility will be corrupted if i stayed the way i was, and if i tried to change it later in life it would be hard to start up treatment. they gave me pills so that my body would force me lay an egg, then kill it. which was extremely painful for each pill ihad to take. Like taking a pill that gave you instant cramps for 1 week. T-T not fun. then first day of school i finally bled. now i am taking birth control to keep the amount of hormones at bay to keep the cycle going. So there that is where i am now. everynight i take my pill as the back of the packet tells me the days that passed by and the reminder that i am able to produce a baby. i was hoping to find some one before taking my pills over sem break before i began the process, just becuase i could. Seeing my problem was a natural condom. erika reminded me that STDs. Dam u sketchy boys. so yes Aunt flow now visits quite often and on schedule. i am pissed off at the world to the dismay of my few guy friends. I have to loose as my doctor puts it "a significant amount of weight" so the pills will work properly. so yes i am bleeding, hungry and very irritable and did i mention 20 yrs old. fairwell my childhood, i shall miss thee.
Mostly when growing up it starts with, "hey Suzy, you, start to notice some things are changing, your getting older, your body is changing and you growing hair in weird places, and you get a visit from your aunt flow. Well suzy we call this PUBERTY". I've always wondered why we never got to see a copy of one of these old school sex ed videos, seen alot of spoofs where Billy notices a girl and then pitches a tent. I probably was exposed to it somewhere in the elementary, i remember i having some sort of sex ed back then.
[moment of tangent]
Must my University one of the most prestigious philippine universities, be a catholic one. must it. producing president,senators and the future leaders of this country, while being slightly subconsciously brainwashed into creating a non secular government where people are questioning and being in denial that the philippines has a population control. While being advised over family planning by priest who 1. are not impregnated by rapists, 2. think they control our free will or we will go to hell, and 3. are seemingly advocating ignorance. Yes, i am one of the many liberal people in ateneo, me, erika and my friend jacky. 2 agnostics and a atheist. who our fourth friend is the awesomely non brainwashed conservative catholic. yes me and erika ranted about this the other day, of how our university , being a jesuit university is against the resent philippine reproduction health bill. Which is sex ed forever one. it is not forcing condoms on people, only to tell them about it. Having the same sort of education i had. 5th grade, puberty education, 6-7th grade biological and open questions, 8-10th grade contraception and STDS. I <3 thinking about how this bill promotes freedom of choice, one step closer to making children realize that they have the freedom to do anything they want to that is their human right. As i hope that future politicians are not all going to be corrupt and use gov't funding to fix road but only to the one to their town house. T-T It depresses me that our country is like that. Though ateneo are basically filled with apathetic towards the philippines, and its politics. alas i think staying in the philippines too long has done to me. I've become an UBER nationalist . woot
[end tangent]
Denied to the fact that i am a liberal, and that my mom hides the fact she is a extremely convservative catholic to me and my fellow siblings whoare apathetic, non practicing roman catholic (i only say that because 1. we were baptisted 2. forced to be confirmed)
I think that was the only stipulation my mom knew as a catholic she must do to her kids, to make sure they get into heaven and can be married in church. Which finally brings me to the article if posted way way above. I started way way wayyy back when i was like 8 or 9. which was really young. somehow now looking about that finding a gynocologist in Saudi Arabia was actually quite easy. yes my time of the month was never normal, off and on. it came one day came back the following month. which i though how it was suppose to happen. but no all lies. so after that 6 years , 6 blissful years of not having to deal with cramps, stained clothes, extreme anger to anyone who attempts to poke ya. (and not that type of poking) so yes, i had finally gone to the doctor for my mysterious happiness fom lack of period, becuase its abnormal to be so. you would think that makati med would have a quite a large place for thier ultra sound area. but they dont. It is a small area about enough to fit 20 people at most inside. let me give you tiny mental visual of room. you go into the glassed door to your left is wall to your right is 5 chair. 2 up against the wall with the door you came through and three to the further most wall. then a tiny only 2 persons can go through space seperates you and the wall and the counter where the reception is, which the counter was about waist high. at the counter 3 unnessary repectionist sit as only one of them is talking to us and taking calls. directly beside the counter is the mirror image of the the 5 chiar waiting area to the women waiting are. mind you this is all open for everone to see. so what i am getting at was suprisingly people in gowns were just sitting next to me. becuase the bathroom was directly infront of this sitting area and exposed to 1. the out sile of the the ultra sound room by glass door and window, and the familiy members sitting and waiting in the other waiting area. sigh. so ya i found a guy who was there who was epicly my type , a big guy with tattooss and had a very nerd-esk to him. now that i think about it my type is starting to resemble silent bob if he was in a rock band. lol . yes so i came out in gown, with may i say 4 guys who cud see me in my gown, counting guy who was very my type. Yes the guy was there for his baby's momma, though i cud have delusioned and forced denial that he was really just the brother being awesomely nice and the time we had was special. but alas it was him his folks the girl and the girls mom. so ya . very much denied.
after the ultra sound my news was that the i did not have cancer. my ovaries were find and so was my uterus, i just did not have enough hormones in me to continue the cycle. How my doctor explained it so that a 3 year old would understand. led me to ask.
Me: So, my health is not at risk, since its not canerous, Can i continue living how i was and choose to not have kids?
Doctor: You are still your, in 10 years time you mind will change?
ME: I am ok with not having kids there are other alternatives, i could adopt.
Doctor: i know you want to have kids! IN TEN YEARS YOU WILL WANT KIDS!!
ME:....
The liberal feminist in me, knew that it was not harmful that she was somehow avoiding to telling me becuase of some chrisitan values. It was probably how i was asking her and the interpretation of her anwer but she never did answer me, what concluded was that my fertility will be corrupted if i stayed the way i was, and if i tried to change it later in life it would be hard to start up treatment. they gave me pills so that my body would force me lay an egg, then kill it. which was extremely painful for each pill ihad to take. Like taking a pill that gave you instant cramps for 1 week. T-T not fun. then first day of school i finally bled. now i am taking birth control to keep the amount of hormones at bay to keep the cycle going. So there that is where i am now. everynight i take my pill as the back of the packet tells me the days that passed by and the reminder that i am able to produce a baby. i was hoping to find some one before taking my pills over sem break before i began the process, just becuase i could. Seeing my problem was a natural condom. erika reminded me that STDs. Dam u sketchy boys. so yes Aunt flow now visits quite often and on schedule. i am pissed off at the world to the dismay of my few guy friends. I have to loose as my doctor puts it "a significant amount of weight" so the pills will work properly. so yes i am bleeding, hungry and very irritable and did i mention 20 yrs old. fairwell my childhood, i shall miss thee.