Find a man who loves God
Last week I gathered my courage and walked out of a relationship for good.
It hurt, but it was the best thing I could have ever done for myself.
You see, the thing about being single for too long is that sometimes we let our emotions blind us. We let the rush and passion of the moment rule over our logic - and we try to convince ourselves that despite the flaws, we shouldn't be too picky, this person is the best you've got, and it'll eventually work out.
No wonder people always say we accept the love we think we deserve.
The truth is, when we end up having to convince ourselves, that should be a warning sign in the first place. Beyond the physical attraction, there has got to be something beneath the surface too. Communication, mutual trust and respect, support for each other's differences...these are the fundamentals.
Only a handful of my friends even knew I was dating this guy. Because the truth was, even I had to convince myself that this was going to work out, when in fact the only person I was deceiving was myself. He had no respect of time (my time - waiting 2 to 3 hours on average for him to show up was happening on almost every single date), we barely communicated about each other's day/dreams/fears/passions, and there was zero mutual trust. Zero.
It took me a few months to wake up and realise that this was never going to work out. That I deserved better. And it took me a week to muster up the courage to leave, for good. No second chances, no more conversations - an end to an end.
The whole week I was still struggling with myself on whether I made the right choice, on whether I should give it another shot and a chance for him to make it work. But with the help of a few rational friends, I managed to stick by my original decision and not go back.
Then Sunday came, and I went to church seeking peace; instead I got a revelation and God spoke directly to me.
Find a man who loves God, for only then will he know how to love you.
God's love is pure, everlasting and strong. He loves us even in our ugliest and weakest moments, and still wants us even when we've sinned. He wants us to grow and succeed, gives us hope and peace, is always there for us, and most importantly will never give up on us. His love is a lifetime commitment. Even for those of us who weren't born Christians, He has always pursued us right from the start, and eventually arrested our hearts. In my case, no matter how many times or how far I walked away from the church, God has always found a way to pull me back. Always. Each time I went back to church for the first time after a gap period, the message has always been exactly what I needed at that point in time. Some call this a coincidence; skeptics say the messages are too broad and therefore can apply to anyone or any situation, but that's not true. I know for a fact that each time it happened, it was God at work calling me back to Him.
Only a man who loves God and understands the concept of God's love will know how to love us right.
And like God's love, he will pursue you right from the start, eventually arresting your heart. He may not be perfect, but he will have all the essentials of a strong relationship - because his foundation is in God. He will never default on his commitment and love for you - because he knows that this is a lifetime commitment. He will love us at our strongest, most beautiful, but will also still love us the same when we're down and weary and feel like the shittiest thing on the planet. He will lift us up when we're down, and support us through our hopes and dreams. More importantly, he will help us grow to become a stronger person in Christ.
It took me so many years, but now I finally see clear.
And I'm so glad I made this decision to end the relationship, if not it might have taken me even longer to realise this.
Thank you Lord.