Reading: to know where i'm coming from.
Once again, didn't know what to do after work, before school starts. Walked around aimlessly in bugis. Decided to go Kino to kill time. They have molecule there but no details. Molecule is quite a read! Outta get it some day. So was browsing around until I saw Johan S Lee! He's got a new book: to know where I’m coming from. It's more than 1/2 year since asian boys vol 3. And he's given credit to it, alfian & ivan as well as his muse, pierre goh. I'm so in love with it and it has truly perked me up from my low downs. Who needs friends/company with such a good book. I'm totally addicted. Least it speaks to me.
Here's the 1st page (it’s a mighty lot to type, so forget about me doing 7 pages of chapter 1:
I suppose the only good thing about heartbreak is it reinforces your sense of humanity. Heart because the pain is felt primary in your chest. 'Break' because the feeling inside you is 1 of damage, devastation even; one of something inside you fracturing or worse, shattering into a million irretrievable pieces. It can also feel like something within you collapsing, imploding, leaving traces of nothing behind. Heartbreak can make you feel heavy or strangely weightless, because there is a sensation that you have been drained of absolutely everything. Then there are the tears shed singly or in streams, quietly or in heaving sobs, and the fear no matter how irrational, that the feeling may never go away.
When I was an adolescent, I subscribe to every known romantic notion. Filled with as much optimism as yearning, I never doubted for a moment that eventually I would find true love. It was simply a question of when. I wasn’t necessary expecting a straightforward fairytale. Like many Asian gay men, of my generation at least, I have been condition from a young age to expect melodrama in my life, to go so far as to invite it. There would be trials and tribulations, but there will also be exultations and ecstasy, and eventually, I would find my Mr Right and have my happy ending.
Love, of the lasting kind anyway eluded me, during most of my 20s, and by the time I was facing the more (shall we say) well travelled age of 30, I had to re-conceived my idea of Mr Right, and it sat alongside the notions of Mr Left, Mr B, Mr W and Mr X.
Here's the 1st page (it’s a mighty lot to type, so forget about me doing 7 pages of chapter 1:
I suppose the only good thing about heartbreak is it reinforces your sense of humanity. Heart because the pain is felt primary in your chest. 'Break' because the feeling inside you is 1 of damage, devastation even; one of something inside you fracturing or worse, shattering into a million irretrievable pieces. It can also feel like something within you collapsing, imploding, leaving traces of nothing behind. Heartbreak can make you feel heavy or strangely weightless, because there is a sensation that you have been drained of absolutely everything. Then there are the tears shed singly or in streams, quietly or in heaving sobs, and the fear no matter how irrational, that the feeling may never go away.
When I was an adolescent, I subscribe to every known romantic notion. Filled with as much optimism as yearning, I never doubted for a moment that eventually I would find true love. It was simply a question of when. I wasn’t necessary expecting a straightforward fairytale. Like many Asian gay men, of my generation at least, I have been condition from a young age to expect melodrama in my life, to go so far as to invite it. There would be trials and tribulations, but there will also be exultations and ecstasy, and eventually, I would find my Mr Right and have my happy ending.
Love, of the lasting kind anyway eluded me, during most of my 20s, and by the time I was facing the more (shall we say) well travelled age of 30, I had to re-conceived my idea of Mr Right, and it sat alongside the notions of Mr Left, Mr B, Mr W and Mr X.