Valentine's Day 2009
So much has happened since I last updated.
I am still working at the Holiday Inn Express Gahanna as the Front Desk Manager. I have been here almost 1 year. We have made some great strides and then there are some that are completely beyond our control. The economy turned sour and headed into a recession so our occupancy numbers are not as good as previous years. However our guest survey scores continue to be over 90% per month and that makes me happy.
I also am still with Target. Come July it will be 3 years. I finally got a little promotion there. I am now a Guest Service Attendant. I got a whopping quarter raise but that's good. Every little bit helps as my mom always says.
I turned 30 last June and though nothing exciting happen. A new development began shortly thereafter. I met someone who was 5 years younger than me and we ended up in a committed relationship.
So here I am 7 months later updating my livejournal. While I would like to say I am reporting good news, sadly to say I am not. This past Sunday, he informed me that he wanted to end the relationship completely after telling me the previous week he was wanting us to take a break so he could figure his life stuff out.
How someone can go within a week after telling you they were wanting a break is still what puzzles me? He told me it was nothing I did, or that happened. He just needs to figure out his career path, get his life on the track he's been avoiding. While I dont understand why I cant be there as his partner and support him through these decisions in his life he needs to make. There's nothing I can do about it.
I would honestly have to say that he was the first person I gave my heart, soul and love to after being single for 4 years. I wouldn't say I just fell in love with him instantly, it was the kind of love that grew as our relationship grew. We had moments as any other couple we bickered and argued, but it was the spending time together, the lovemaking, the being in love that made it so much more than it was.
As I said he was the first person I gave my heart to after 4 years. Before him, there was Matthew who turned and moved to Chicago and basically ended anything of progressing between us.
Jamison was my partner for 7 months. I wouldn't have traded anything in the world of the time we had together as partners. I am now in the stages of hurt, anger, upset, and having to once again put my emotions back together. I have to figure out me again. Get my life back on the track I was on and continue on that journey.
While we still love each other, we are for now friends. Its hard to keep a positive spin on things today being that its Valentine's Day. I had hoped to be able to spend it with him even if for an hour between his two jobs and while I am working at mine as my Valentine. But as I stated previously, that is not the case.
So its not the falling in love that is upsetting. It is the fact that I feel in love and now have lost that love. I'm not one of those morose people who can turn feelings off in one way and let them be something else the next moment. I have to have time to mourn, celebrate and find my joy again in life.
So if you happen to read this and think something more than is actually written here, there is not. It is my outlet of letting go of the pain and the pains I feel today on this day as I write.
Thanks for listening and reading.
I am still working at the Holiday Inn Express Gahanna as the Front Desk Manager. I have been here almost 1 year. We have made some great strides and then there are some that are completely beyond our control. The economy turned sour and headed into a recession so our occupancy numbers are not as good as previous years. However our guest survey scores continue to be over 90% per month and that makes me happy.
I also am still with Target. Come July it will be 3 years. I finally got a little promotion there. I am now a Guest Service Attendant. I got a whopping quarter raise but that's good. Every little bit helps as my mom always says.
I turned 30 last June and though nothing exciting happen. A new development began shortly thereafter. I met someone who was 5 years younger than me and we ended up in a committed relationship.
So here I am 7 months later updating my livejournal. While I would like to say I am reporting good news, sadly to say I am not. This past Sunday, he informed me that he wanted to end the relationship completely after telling me the previous week he was wanting us to take a break so he could figure his life stuff out.
How someone can go within a week after telling you they were wanting a break is still what puzzles me? He told me it was nothing I did, or that happened. He just needs to figure out his career path, get his life on the track he's been avoiding. While I dont understand why I cant be there as his partner and support him through these decisions in his life he needs to make. There's nothing I can do about it.
I would honestly have to say that he was the first person I gave my heart, soul and love to after being single for 4 years. I wouldn't say I just fell in love with him instantly, it was the kind of love that grew as our relationship grew. We had moments as any other couple we bickered and argued, but it was the spending time together, the lovemaking, the being in love that made it so much more than it was.
As I said he was the first person I gave my heart to after 4 years. Before him, there was Matthew who turned and moved to Chicago and basically ended anything of progressing between us.
Jamison was my partner for 7 months. I wouldn't have traded anything in the world of the time we had together as partners. I am now in the stages of hurt, anger, upset, and having to once again put my emotions back together. I have to figure out me again. Get my life back on the track I was on and continue on that journey.
While we still love each other, we are for now friends. Its hard to keep a positive spin on things today being that its Valentine's Day. I had hoped to be able to spend it with him even if for an hour between his two jobs and while I am working at mine as my Valentine. But as I stated previously, that is not the case.
So its not the falling in love that is upsetting. It is the fact that I feel in love and now have lost that love. I'm not one of those morose people who can turn feelings off in one way and let them be something else the next moment. I have to have time to mourn, celebrate and find my joy again in life.
So if you happen to read this and think something more than is actually written here, there is not. It is my outlet of letting go of the pain and the pains I feel today on this day as I write.
Thanks for listening and reading.