It's a wonderful feeling.
My Valentine’s:
It was wonderful, very romantic, and I can’t say that I expected something romantic to be honest. Tom and I went to the Harbor House in Seaport Village, it wasn’t the place that I expected we were going, but instead was much fancier. It definitely had emphasis on seafood, but I enjoyed my meal none-the-less. It was sort of like gumbo and I got way too much. We got to sit at a quaint little table by candlelight with a quirky waitress named Ginger. I was constantly distracted by the horse-and-carriages rolling by outside. It was really nice. We had the best calamari either of us has ever had and a delicious dessert as well. When we finished we took a walk down by the bay. The wall separating the cobblestone walkway from the rocky crags was riddled with couples holding each other and whispering into each others’ ears. We went to the end and talked for a while, but decided we were conforming too much - joining that wall of lovers - and headed back to the car. We stood there for a while talking before heading out. I know Tom will hate me for saying this in my journal, but it’s worth remembering: while waiting in the line of cars to get out of the parking lot Tom leaned over and smelled the perfume on my neck, then he leaned over again, having enjoyed the smell, and he says, “Oh you smell nice, that’s why I smelled it the sex time…second time…second.” We went back up to the dorms and we sat in the parking lot so Tom could open the gift I got him. I think he actually genuinely appreciated the things I got him - different from Christmas I might add - and it made me so happy to see him happy. He dropped by the day before to give me my gift: red carnations set into a martini shaker. It’s beautiful and I didn’t expect the flowers at all. He did come up to my room for a little while and no, we didn’t do anything, but lie around and talk. It was already late and we were both tired so it wasn’t long before he left. I hope he wasn’t expecting anything…haha…
The Valentine’s was wonderful, something a lot of women were dreaming about I’m sure. It was perfect. Flawless. And wonderful.
It was one of the first times I felt real with him. There's no longer indifference and the wall is dissipating. It's slow and difficult, but it's only getting better - like when you have to wait for your ice cream to melt a little.