Hospitals and Airplanes
So Saturday morning I woke up to my mother calling me to say my sister and her ex/non-ex husband decided to make a suicide pact. Great... My mom was on her way to Davis hospital where they both were. I waited in bed for her to call me back. I couldn't stand getting up and facing this reality. It still semed like it was in my dream. When my mom finally called back an hour later the news was my sister was stable, asleep, but in the ICU. Damon was also asleep in the ICU, but on life support. Great. We had been dancing the night before and I looked haggard and smelled of smoke. I jumped in the shower and got ready really fast then drove up to the hospital. My mom and I sat in my sisters room a long time. My dad switched her places and sat with me a while too. Many of Damon and Toni's family and friends trickled in and out to see them, but I couldn't move. Finally my mom coaxed me into going to get somethign to eat while the hospital cafeteria was still open. I went back up for another half hour or so afterwards and then had to go to work. Work sucked. I didn't want to be there and I was so focused my area of the store was spotless before closing. So we got to leave early. Sunday my sister was released, thankfully and now she is doing okay. We stopped by and hung out with her a little while before heading to Steve's house in Huntsville. My weekend was quite emotional including this and my long talk with Robbie Friday night.
Today Robbie is on a plane on his way to Tampa, FL. There is a special little place in my heart for Tampa, as I was just there two months ago. Robbie and I have, thankfully, grown closer the last week or so and so being away from him for five days is going to be hard. Mostly because the progress we have made in the last week is monumental compared to how things have been for months. I'm worried it will all go away once he has Kyle to talk to and get advice from. Of course.
All of this further adding to my dreaded birthday on Friday. I have the day off, so sleeping in and going to the gym are given. However, my "group" of friends don't want to all go to dinner until Robbie gets back from FL. People from work have plans or kids or whatnot that night, so they can't do anything. I'm half tempted to drive myself up the canyon, or something and spend the time alone. Better than sitting at home alone. Either way I'm going to be alone so it doesn't matter. Fuck birthdays. Like Valentines day they are a big dissappointment. Either you expect too much and it sucks, or you don't expect anything and you end up getting and doing nothing and it sucks.
Today Robbie is on a plane on his way to Tampa, FL. There is a special little place in my heart for Tampa, as I was just there two months ago. Robbie and I have, thankfully, grown closer the last week or so and so being away from him for five days is going to be hard. Mostly because the progress we have made in the last week is monumental compared to how things have been for months. I'm worried it will all go away once he has Kyle to talk to and get advice from. Of course.
All of this further adding to my dreaded birthday on Friday. I have the day off, so sleeping in and going to the gym are given. However, my "group" of friends don't want to all go to dinner until Robbie gets back from FL. People from work have plans or kids or whatnot that night, so they can't do anything. I'm half tempted to drive myself up the canyon, or something and spend the time alone. Better than sitting at home alone. Either way I'm going to be alone so it doesn't matter. Fuck birthdays. Like Valentines day they are a big dissappointment. Either you expect too much and it sucks, or you don't expect anything and you end up getting and doing nothing and it sucks.