Sigh
I broke up with Joe today. I didn't mean to hurt him but I could tell I did. It hurts to know I hurt him. I now remember why I don't date. It's easier that way. No hurt feelings and no broken promises. My good intentions never turn out as I mean them too.
I really like Joe. I love him. He's my best friend, but I'm not in love with him. Joe is such a great guy and he deserves someone to love him the way I can't. I think I got my message across but if I didn't and our friendship is ruined I think I might cry.
That'd be interesting. I haven't cried in awhile. Only when I've physically hurt myself. Otherwise I've come close but... I've gotten rather good at holding them back.
Ugh. I'm going to be known as the horrible first girlfriend now. I never wanted to be that person, but like with everything else I failed.
***
Loads of stress right now. My parents trust me alot more than I ever thought. And that is both good and bad. This holiday season is going all to h*ll. My aunt and uncle are getting a divorce, my grandmother has cancer and another family member has to have surgery which I cannot disclose at this time.
I was thinking about moving out, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. I'm needed at home too much. That and I have a this terrible feeling that everything is going to go to heck really soon and I'm worried about the outcome.
I really think the stress is getting to my head. I've almost started bawling my eyes out five times in the last week and one of those times I didn't even have a reason. I just wanted to sit down and cry... but I was running late to my next class and I didn't have the time.
Maybe I'm expecting too much, or perhaps I'm just insane. It would be nice to get a proper diagnosis.
I really like Joe. I love him. He's my best friend, but I'm not in love with him. Joe is such a great guy and he deserves someone to love him the way I can't. I think I got my message across but if I didn't and our friendship is ruined I think I might cry.
That'd be interesting. I haven't cried in awhile. Only when I've physically hurt myself. Otherwise I've come close but... I've gotten rather good at holding them back.
Ugh. I'm going to be known as the horrible first girlfriend now. I never wanted to be that person, but like with everything else I failed.
***
Loads of stress right now. My parents trust me alot more than I ever thought. And that is both good and bad. This holiday season is going all to h*ll. My aunt and uncle are getting a divorce, my grandmother has cancer and another family member has to have surgery which I cannot disclose at this time.
I was thinking about moving out, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. I'm needed at home too much. That and I have a this terrible feeling that everything is going to go to heck really soon and I'm worried about the outcome.
I really think the stress is getting to my head. I've almost started bawling my eyes out five times in the last week and one of those times I didn't even have a reason. I just wanted to sit down and cry... but I was running late to my next class and I didn't have the time.
Maybe I'm expecting too much, or perhaps I'm just insane. It would be nice to get a proper diagnosis.