End 0f One Year and Start OF Another Year...
well... i haven't written in a long time...lets say since last year!
so yeah, well i am glad that year 2005 is over, i had lots of problems and plus a lot of bad things occured...not that good things didn't happen but it was mostly bad ones than good ones. I hope that this year ends up being a whole lot better than the last one...and i hope i don't end up with a broken heart again and specially with the same person and with the same kind of mistake, but yeah, the last boyfriend i had ended up ok...yet bad at the same time, and which i have no news about him and i haven't talked to him either so that sux in a way. Furthermore, things with my parents at first were going good for a while but then everything ended up bad. it's like going up in a roller coster slowly and then all of a sudden it just goes down fast! so yeah i express it that way. Whatever! And for the record, new year's was not all good, we spent it in China, NL at the rancho, and well my uncles were all drunked up and stuff so u can kind of get the pic...and the rest was so boring and ugly! i guess i can say that my body was over there and my mind and spirit was at church, exactly where i should have been at! Besides, the only thing that i did like about over there was the view of the stars in the sky, it was AWESOME! that is what made me happy, at that point to see the stars shine so bright and see a lot of them, and see them in the dark and u feel that u are one of them and u just wished that it was only u looking at the stars and living ur own dream, and u see yourself traveling through the stars and u are thinking of that special someone that takes ur breath away and u just sit there and think...it is just awesome! But then u wake up and see it was just ur imagination and u are back to reality but at least u enjoyed the thought u had for a while and that made my night a whole lot better. And NO i did Not Make any new year Resolutions!
Ok so now this year, everything has been marching fine. and well it sort of looks like if it is heading the right way, but u never know when life can just give that little twist that turns everything around... i guess u just have to be careful and ask God to guide u to do the right things. As far as my CIA career and the test i have decided to leave it as a long run view, and for now just study on something that i will always have work to do and that i can get paid well and that i short to study like a 2 or 3 year career, but as soon as i finish i am heading towards my big dream and that i will not rest till i get it! The only one that will change my mind is God furthermore no one else.
What else can i say for now everything is ok...and well we will see what goes on as time goes on.
Oh by the way my mom is taking a test today to get her GED so i hope everything goes fine and she has other things to do which make me feel more proud of her cuz i can see that she wants to really succeed in life and that just helps me encourage her and help her out! i am proud to have a mom like mine!
Well take care and God Bless u lots!
bea
"Because of You" Kelly Clarkson
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you
so yeah, well i am glad that year 2005 is over, i had lots of problems and plus a lot of bad things occured...not that good things didn't happen but it was mostly bad ones than good ones. I hope that this year ends up being a whole lot better than the last one...and i hope i don't end up with a broken heart again and specially with the same person and with the same kind of mistake, but yeah, the last boyfriend i had ended up ok...yet bad at the same time, and which i have no news about him and i haven't talked to him either so that sux in a way. Furthermore, things with my parents at first were going good for a while but then everything ended up bad. it's like going up in a roller coster slowly and then all of a sudden it just goes down fast! so yeah i express it that way. Whatever! And for the record, new year's was not all good, we spent it in China, NL at the rancho, and well my uncles were all drunked up and stuff so u can kind of get the pic...and the rest was so boring and ugly! i guess i can say that my body was over there and my mind and spirit was at church, exactly where i should have been at! Besides, the only thing that i did like about over there was the view of the stars in the sky, it was AWESOME! that is what made me happy, at that point to see the stars shine so bright and see a lot of them, and see them in the dark and u feel that u are one of them and u just wished that it was only u looking at the stars and living ur own dream, and u see yourself traveling through the stars and u are thinking of that special someone that takes ur breath away and u just sit there and think...it is just awesome! But then u wake up and see it was just ur imagination and u are back to reality but at least u enjoyed the thought u had for a while and that made my night a whole lot better. And NO i did Not Make any new year Resolutions!
Ok so now this year, everything has been marching fine. and well it sort of looks like if it is heading the right way, but u never know when life can just give that little twist that turns everything around... i guess u just have to be careful and ask God to guide u to do the right things. As far as my CIA career and the test i have decided to leave it as a long run view, and for now just study on something that i will always have work to do and that i can get paid well and that i short to study like a 2 or 3 year career, but as soon as i finish i am heading towards my big dream and that i will not rest till i get it! The only one that will change my mind is God furthermore no one else.
What else can i say for now everything is ok...and well we will see what goes on as time goes on.
Oh by the way my mom is taking a test today to get her GED so i hope everything goes fine and she has other things to do which make me feel more proud of her cuz i can see that she wants to really succeed in life and that just helps me encourage her and help her out! i am proud to have a mom like mine!
Well take care and God Bless u lots!
bea
"Because of You" Kelly Clarkson
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you