life update
Yay for Spring Break! A teacher could get used to this.
So, I planned on doing all of the stuff I can't normally get done during the working week, because With a week off...you know a lot can be done...or so I thought. I have not done anything to give that sense of accomplishment. In fact, being a lone with myself and my thoughts has just been terrible. I guess I need to stay busy to stay happy.
I have seen a lot more of Anthony. He is going back to Tech for round two, only working on an a computer engineering degree this time. So for so good, he is really pushing himself this time. And it helps him to know that I'm here to push too. I won't bother him while I'm at work or cooking or whatever. I think we're moving into a new stage of our relationship. It's not like living together and "nesting"...no. It;s more like living as friends and roommates who sometimes get upset at each other but then work it out later....married people? Are we acting like married people? I have been gauging our relationship levels with those of my coworkers...and I think we are acting like we're married. Really, it is kind of strange. I wonder if I should try to figure out what this means or just go with it? I over think things a lot. But, the more I think about things the better I understand them. So, do I want to understand where this relationship is or just exist in the moment of the relationship? do I look at every little thing and make sure I can put up with it for the rest of my life or just laugh and do nothing? I'm sort of afraid that three years is a long time to wait and at soem point Anthony will wake up and say "Yeah...., no. Thanks for the brownies! See ya."
Another thing that has been bothering me, is I feel stronger when I am on my own and not in anykind of relationship. When I am in one I get Lazy. And I'm not sure if this is due to seeinghow my parents act and react in a relationship or what. I have been noticing a lot of things that are due to the way I was brought up. I am very different from Anthony. He saves money becuase he has never not had money. I sepnd it like crazy becuase I don't know how to save it. I have never had a good example in my family of how to save money. My aunt is in debt up to her eyes and my grandmother is too. Oh, and my parents told me that they most likely will split. My mom said that my dad would live a homeless shelter and she'd come move int with me. But, this lady sayd a lot of things I I learned a long time ago not to listen.
more later..I need a cup of tea.
So, I planned on doing all of the stuff I can't normally get done during the working week, because With a week off...you know a lot can be done...or so I thought. I have not done anything to give that sense of accomplishment. In fact, being a lone with myself and my thoughts has just been terrible. I guess I need to stay busy to stay happy.
I have seen a lot more of Anthony. He is going back to Tech for round two, only working on an a computer engineering degree this time. So for so good, he is really pushing himself this time. And it helps him to know that I'm here to push too. I won't bother him while I'm at work or cooking or whatever. I think we're moving into a new stage of our relationship. It's not like living together and "nesting"...no. It;s more like living as friends and roommates who sometimes get upset at each other but then work it out later....married people? Are we acting like married people? I have been gauging our relationship levels with those of my coworkers...and I think we are acting like we're married. Really, it is kind of strange. I wonder if I should try to figure out what this means or just go with it? I over think things a lot. But, the more I think about things the better I understand them. So, do I want to understand where this relationship is or just exist in the moment of the relationship? do I look at every little thing and make sure I can put up with it for the rest of my life or just laugh and do nothing? I'm sort of afraid that three years is a long time to wait and at soem point Anthony will wake up and say "Yeah...., no. Thanks for the brownies! See ya."
Another thing that has been bothering me, is I feel stronger when I am on my own and not in anykind of relationship. When I am in one I get Lazy. And I'm not sure if this is due to seeinghow my parents act and react in a relationship or what. I have been noticing a lot of things that are due to the way I was brought up. I am very different from Anthony. He saves money becuase he has never not had money. I sepnd it like crazy becuase I don't know how to save it. I have never had a good example in my family of how to save money. My aunt is in debt up to her eyes and my grandmother is too. Oh, and my parents told me that they most likely will split. My mom said that my dad would live a homeless shelter and she'd come move int with me. But, this lady sayd a lot of things I I learned a long time ago not to listen.
more later..I need a cup of tea.