My days are numbered

[dreamerisin]

........And Im a spaze about it! I know what I have to do and Im doing it. Losing weight from the break, cardio for bettering my time/ fitness towards my lungs, and just getting motivated to go. But theres something wrong, my bodies screaming for satifaction from somewhere else. When I talk to people Im somewhere else, I always seem to be somewhere else then where I should be. i want to be there now getting beat down by all thoughs DI! I dont know what life has instore for me but I feel like running away from life...getting away. Im trying to set up one last night to hang with anyone that wants to be around me. But, it seems people dont, they there lives, and I really was never apart of them. This is a main reason why Ive been ready to go for so long.

I look at a girl I know with envy! Shes tough, not letting in one into her shell, always looking out for her family, and doing whats best for her family. She doesnt take shit from anyone, not even from me. She loves to play with minds telling people ezactly what they are worth..her words are between the lines. I always give her more credit then she has, but I really do care for her. Ha, plus her name is very unique. I just wish I would of had her sooner because i know theres something with her that I want so bad. ITs not sex, its not her facial gestures, its her soul and the way she has to command her life. Shes a warrior I once knew.....

is that what i want, crap I really dont know anymore what Im going through.