Spiderman 3, A Web of Cognitive Dissonance
WTF did I just see? Did any of that make any fucking sense whatsoever?
All the characters in this movie had completely schizoid personalities that changed from one moment to the next with no rhyme or reason. Mary Jane goes from good girlfriend, to whiny self-centered bitch, to jealous self-centered bitch, back to good sympathetic girlfriend, to cheating tramp, to spineless pawn, to damsel in distress. Harry Osborn goes from psychoticly obessesed stalker/murderer, back to amnesia'd best friend of Peter Parker, to jealous little bitch trying to steal best friend's girlfriend, to deformed self-pitying little pussy, to hero? Last but not least, in one single musical montage, black-suit Peter Parker goes from complete badass who can pick up any chick, to complete dork performing stupid dance moves on the street for no reason, to badass business negotiator, to dork that gets dressed up and behaves like Michael Jackson, to badass dancer who sucessfully puts his bitch of an ex-girlfriend in her place, to dork with a stupid-ass emo haircut, to barroom brawler, back to pussy/dork of a superhero.
Like I said. WTF??
Things that were just plain terrible about Spiderman 3.
- All the over-the-top, campy humor
- The incredibly shitty acting, especially the TV reporters and anchors
- Cops and civilians standing around on the streets watching two super-villains fight Spiderman while they knock skyscrapers down on top of them.
- Sandman's storyline
- Womens' ability to hang on to shit hundreds of feet above the ground for minutes at a time, while dodging shit falling on top of them
- Stupid grandma who thinks that US Court system will be able to sucessfully prosecute super-villains
The best part of this movie was watching evil Spidey piss on everything and everyone that treated him like shit when he was nice. The rest of the movie just hurt my head. 2 stars.
All the characters in this movie had completely schizoid personalities that changed from one moment to the next with no rhyme or reason. Mary Jane goes from good girlfriend, to whiny self-centered bitch, to jealous self-centered bitch, back to good sympathetic girlfriend, to cheating tramp, to spineless pawn, to damsel in distress. Harry Osborn goes from psychoticly obessesed stalker/murderer, back to amnesia'd best friend of Peter Parker, to jealous little bitch trying to steal best friend's girlfriend, to deformed self-pitying little pussy, to hero? Last but not least, in one single musical montage, black-suit Peter Parker goes from complete badass who can pick up any chick, to complete dork performing stupid dance moves on the street for no reason, to badass business negotiator, to dork that gets dressed up and behaves like Michael Jackson, to badass dancer who sucessfully puts his bitch of an ex-girlfriend in her place, to dork with a stupid-ass emo haircut, to barroom brawler, back to pussy/dork of a superhero.
Like I said. WTF??
Things that were just plain terrible about Spiderman 3.
- All the over-the-top, campy humor
- The incredibly shitty acting, especially the TV reporters and anchors
- Cops and civilians standing around on the streets watching two super-villains fight Spiderman while they knock skyscrapers down on top of them.
- Sandman's storyline
- Womens' ability to hang on to shit hundreds of feet above the ground for minutes at a time, while dodging shit falling on top of them
- Stupid grandma who thinks that US Court system will be able to sucessfully prosecute super-villains
The best part of this movie was watching evil Spidey piss on everything and everyone that treated him like shit when he was nice. The rest of the movie just hurt my head. 2 stars.