Before I begin, I just want to let you all know that I'm going to be using tag cuts from now on. My entries tend to be long, so to keep your friend pages somewhat short and clean, I'm giving a tag to each different topic I decide to address in my entries. Sound good? Okay. Cool.
But before I get into all of those tag topics, I just want to say that I sliced my leg last night on this mini fence-type thing we have that keeps my dog from going upstairs. It hurts really, really bad, and now I've got two long gashes across my leg. They don't look nor do they feel the least bit pleasant.
I think I'll take a psychology class when I'm in college. I have no interest in pursuing a career that has anything to do with it, but the human mind has been pissing me off lately. (Lately? Let's try the past ten years!) Maybe studying some psychology will help me better understand what the hell's been going on in my own head... maybe I'll be able to start making sense of things. Because I'll tell you this, after all of the appointments I've had with the psychiatrists/psychologists/therapists/shrinks/whatever-the-hell-you-want-to-call-thems, I still feel like I know next to nothing about depression, about anxiety... Which sucks when you're the one diagnosed with it.
I'm quite angry with the woman in charge of the Announcers Club at the moment. I recall talking to her at the end of this past school year about participating in it next year, I recall her asking me if I was a senior, then asking me for my name so she could write it down and call me down later.
...She never called me down.
So I went to find her the next day, she told me to leave a note with my name and number on her desk. Which I did. ...Still haven't heard a thing from her.
I went back to the school today to try switching around my schedule and left her another note. Hopefully I hear a response.
Since my first day of freshman year, I've had my heart set on doing those morning announcements. The thought of being able to talk over a loudspeaker to the entire student body, to capture their attention with life (as opposed to the kids the past couple years who sounded dead)... It seemed like an awesome thing at the time, and it still does. Just thinking about the fact that there's a good chance I won't be able to participate upsets me. I talked to the woman. Twice. I have eyewitnesses. If I can't at least get an opportunity to audition, or something, for those morning announcements... I'll be really bummed.
Why does it seem like everyone has to get married and have children before they die? I mean... if you look at almost every person's agenda for life, they'll want to get married and have kids. Everyone wants to get married and have kids. Why? Why does it seem to me like your life won't be complete unless you find a partner, settle down, and have a few kids?
What if I don't ever want to get married? What if I never, in a million years, want to have a child? What if I never even want to take a stab at dating? Why does it seem like everyone has to do this? Would others think I'm weird if I never want to be in a relationship? If I want to be single for the rest of my life?
School hasn't even started yet, and already it looks like my year is going to suck. I was unbelievably sick when fall cheerleading tryouts were being held so I didn't get a chance to tryout, which means I won't be able to participate in fall cheerleading and there's no way in hell that I'll be able to be captain for winter cheerleading. (Which I wanted to do SO BAD.) As of now, I won't be able to participate in the announcers club. (Which I wanted to do SO BAD.) And I have a pretty sucky schedule, despite the fact that I changed it around.
I have Gallagher for gym. UGH. I originally had gym second period with Zeno, but I wanted to switch it because it was so early. I'd do anything to go and switch it back to second if that meant I could be back with Zeno and not with Gallagher. I also have Greco, who absolutely hates me. Then I've got to take HSPA Prep for math because I failed the mathematics portion of the HSPA by three freakin' points. I also put in a study hall for student assisting, but now I'm worried that I won't be able to be one. But if I do get lucky and make it there before anyone else wants to be Bielawski's student assistant, I'll feel guilty. What if another student asked her if they could be her student assistant and she said yes? I know the teachers don't really have too much of a say in who their assistant is, but I don't want her (and the other student) to be mad at me if I become her student assistant.
The only two things on my schedule that I'm looking forward to will be Desktop Publishing with Bielawski and Sociology with Noonan. Both I think will be pretty cool classes, both teachers I think are pretty cool, and I have SARAH in both classes with me! (Yay!)
I think that's it. I apologize for the crappy update, the crappy grammar, the crappy everything. And I apologize to you if you actually decide to read this.