Oh Oh, I need to know

[dreamer327]

I'm happy.
I'm unhappy.
I'm stuck.
I'm free.
I'm confused.

I go to Olympia and I feel totally different there than here.
I feel more welcomed/wanted.
I'm sure if I lived there though, I'd have a different feeling very fast.

Isn't where you live supposed to be your home?
I feel like where I'm at is just a transition for me.
But I don't want it to be.
I want to feel:
 Included
 Liked
 Loved
 Appreciated
 Comfortable

I read old journal entries and I realize how mundane my life has become.
I used to be more adventurous.
I used to get out and do things.

I got a taste of how I wish  my life were heading the last few weekends.
I was out doing things with different people.
I had friends visiting me, I was visiting friends.
It was fun.

I'm complacent with my life, I just wish it was more exciting.
I know life is what you make it, I'm just not sure how to make it on my own.
I've used people as my crutch for so long, I'm not sure how to stand on my own two feet.

I'm not ready to let you go.
I'm not happy about it.
But I have to.
It's the same circles over and over again.
You're not making me a better person
And
You won't let me make you one.
You make me feel bad for experiencing life without you,
But when I invite you, there's always an excuse.
If you only realized how much it'd be better if you were there.

I have many positives in my life.
And I do love my life and the people in it.
It's just the negatives conquer my thoughts more readily.

Spring is in the near future.
Hopefully peace of mind is also.