Another Aura...
I feel sometimes that I've lost myself. I'm in a place I never wanted to be yet never ceased trying to escape from. Makes me wonder if I psychically ever left it.
Anabelle must be so confused about why I don't see her.
The civil case is still pending. We have yet another hearing in early July.
I have almost 9 months of sobriety. I have no mental conditions, save the post trauma from my dad attacking me again.
(The muther fukr bit me. And I didn't take it all too well.)
As I sat in Dr. G's office yesterday a question was posed, "If a 17 yr old and his father get into a fistfight, who's fault is it? The teen's, or the father's?" The answer is that it's the parent's fault; but
I couldn't answer the question.
I have been physically abused since the age of eight. I have been shaken, gripped so tightly as to bruise, choked, thrown, pushed, shoved, frightened for my life, and I've had objects thrown at me. It's not normal, and it's not my fault.
I have a great difficulty in talking about these things and even a greater difficulty in admitting that they are true. However, if I keep pretending they didn't happen, then I can never heal.
It's a tough spot to be in, and I'm not going through re-hab for my daughter, Belle. I'm going through it for me. I'm in recovery, for me.
I love life and I am now free of shame that isn't mine to carry.
Love,
June
Anabelle must be so confused about why I don't see her.
The civil case is still pending. We have yet another hearing in early July.
I have almost 9 months of sobriety. I have no mental conditions, save the post trauma from my dad attacking me again.
(The muther fukr bit me. And I didn't take it all too well.)
As I sat in Dr. G's office yesterday a question was posed, "If a 17 yr old and his father get into a fistfight, who's fault is it? The teen's, or the father's?" The answer is that it's the parent's fault; but
I couldn't answer the question.
I have been physically abused since the age of eight. I have been shaken, gripped so tightly as to bruise, choked, thrown, pushed, shoved, frightened for my life, and I've had objects thrown at me. It's not normal, and it's not my fault.
I have a great difficulty in talking about these things and even a greater difficulty in admitting that they are true. However, if I keep pretending they didn't happen, then I can never heal.
It's a tough spot to be in, and I'm not going through re-hab for my daughter, Belle. I'm going through it for me. I'm in recovery, for me.
I love life and I am now free of shame that isn't mine to carry.
Love,
June