A new project inspired by the Bible.
As some of you may know, I'm not a very religious person. Point of fact, I was a hardcore athiest for a time (something that is obvious if you read through my rantings in this journal) and am now very much a moderate agnostic. My simple philosophy regarding religion is this: When practiced en masse, religion is a dangerous tool of control. When practiced privately, religion can be a powerful motivator and support. Ultimately, however, no one on earth can say with absolute and irrefutable proof that a god does or does not exist.
Lately I've been pondering exactly why it is I've developed this particular view. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm questioning my view, I'm simply wondering how it was that I came to have it. A relective, "how did I arrive at this destination" thing (thing being the best word I can come up with to describe it).
When I was born, I was baptized Episcopalian (that's Catholic Lite for those unfamilar with Christianity). The early years of my youth were spent going to church with my parents. I would be dressed in my sunday bests and sent to Sunday school with the other kids and when that was over, I'd be forced to endure the hardship of sitting still in the sactuary during the regular service (for a three-year-old, this is an extreme challenge.). I don't remember much from those days, but I do remember being picked on by the other kids in Sunday school and I remember hating the idea of going back. Perhaps this is where my love for religion first evaporated.
Whatever the true reason, both my parents and I stopped attending church for several years. My life continued without a great deal of religious influence, save the traditional Christmas/Thanksgiving/Easter dinner prayer, until I was into my early teens. That's when the few friends I had at the time began to delve into non-mainstream religions such as Paganism. And so, mostly due to peer pressure to fit in, I did the whole Pagan, Crystal-worshiping, new-age bullshit thing. That lasted until I was 16 or so. It wasn't until I was 17 or 18 (I can't remember exactly ) that I fell in with a group of friends who were all devoted christians. They all went to church in a little town called Hurtsboro, population 1200. A lot of interesting things stand out about this town in my memory: like how there were two baptist churches. One all the white folks went to and one all the black folks went to. The gas stations were like this too, but I haven't figured out what that has to do with religion yet.
At first, I was resistant to the whole idea of going to church. I went because my friends were going. I didn't really listen to the prayers or care about what was being said regarding God. I was just happy that there was a group of kids who I could call my friends; who I truly felt were my friends. Then we went to this thing called a Judgement house. It's sort of the Christian version of a haunted house. Inside, they scare the beegees out of you by showing you what they believe will happen when you die and you aren't saved. I admit, it worked. I was scared to death.
That night, in fear and a desperate urge to feel accepted and part of a larger group, I prayed with a friend to let jesus into my life. And for a few months, I really felt as though I were on fire for christ. But that feeling began to wear off as my friends all began to go their separate ways. Before long, the youth group I had felt so close too was full of younger people that I didn't know and who didn't seem to want to know me. I tried going to the regular church services for a time, but felt even more uncomfortable there. Whatever the reason, I suddenly realized that I didn't fit in around here. I prayed to God for an answer to help me find a new place where I could be accepted. One of my youthgroup friends and I caught up and decided to try a new church for a while. The feeling never returned and I god never once imparted any insight or gave me any direction no matter how much I asked.
That's when I began to think back about all the paying I had done over the last several months. And that's when I realized that not once could I remember a time in which I truly felt like my life was being guided by god. All I could remember was being motivated by fear and loneliness. Since that time, I've never tried to get close to god again because I couldn't say for certain that there was a god. For a time, in the recent past, I became a little too certain there was no god. Today, I'm just not sure.
Still, part of me wonders that, if given the opportunity, would god (should he exist) decide to speak to me or help guide me or somehow give me the same self evidence that so many converted christians have that he does exist. So, I've decided to give him/her/it that opportunity. Now before I go any further, I am NOT making an all-call for every loony who wants to try to convert me to start yammering about God. Instead, I'm going to take a more personal approach and that approach begins by reading the bible from cover to cover; start to finish. Now, there are some rules to the way I'm going to be handling this. 1) I am going to read two versions of the bible simultaeously. The first version is the King James Version. You, my friends and readers will get to pick the second version from the list at the end of this post. 2)After each story/chapter/whatever the thing is divided into, I'm going to post my thoughts about it here on my journal for discussion. 3) I must enter into this with a skeptical, but open mind.
My goals go beyond just seeing if I can find religion. I want to see what the bible has to teach in its entirety. You see, I've never read the bible cover-cover as an adult. I did it when I was a teenager, but I should be able to understand a great deal more now than I could then. I intend to point out inconsistencies and fault when I find them though I have no intentions of hunting them down. I am not searching for evidence for or against god, I am searching for truth. One of two things will happen as I progress thorough this project. A) I'll come across some previously unknown personal truth and convert or B) my mind will remain unchanged. Regardless, it should be an enlightening experience. I can't really think of a negative effect of this so I'm going for it.
What I need now are some suggest for which would be the best version of the bible to read aside from King James (King James is one of the two versions because it so widly used and is regarded as the most accurate translation of the bible). I know from experince however that the KJB can be exhausting to read, therefore, I would like a well translated bible to read was well. No Annotation are allowed. I want to form my own opinions about the stories within the good book, not read about other people's opinions.
So, what should my second version be?
The New International Version
The New American Standard
The New Living Translation
The English Standard Version
The Contemporary English Version
or some version that I haven't listed?
Lately I've been pondering exactly why it is I've developed this particular view. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm questioning my view, I'm simply wondering how it was that I came to have it. A relective, "how did I arrive at this destination" thing (thing being the best word I can come up with to describe it).
When I was born, I was baptized Episcopalian (that's Catholic Lite for those unfamilar with Christianity). The early years of my youth were spent going to church with my parents. I would be dressed in my sunday bests and sent to Sunday school with the other kids and when that was over, I'd be forced to endure the hardship of sitting still in the sactuary during the regular service (for a three-year-old, this is an extreme challenge.). I don't remember much from those days, but I do remember being picked on by the other kids in Sunday school and I remember hating the idea of going back. Perhaps this is where my love for religion first evaporated.
Whatever the true reason, both my parents and I stopped attending church for several years. My life continued without a great deal of religious influence, save the traditional Christmas/Thanksgiving/Easter dinner prayer, until I was into my early teens. That's when the few friends I had at the time began to delve into non-mainstream religions such as Paganism. And so, mostly due to peer pressure to fit in, I did the whole Pagan, Crystal-worshiping, new-age bullshit thing. That lasted until I was 16 or so. It wasn't until I was 17 or 18 (I can't remember exactly ) that I fell in with a group of friends who were all devoted christians. They all went to church in a little town called Hurtsboro, population 1200. A lot of interesting things stand out about this town in my memory: like how there were two baptist churches. One all the white folks went to and one all the black folks went to. The gas stations were like this too, but I haven't figured out what that has to do with religion yet.
At first, I was resistant to the whole idea of going to church. I went because my friends were going. I didn't really listen to the prayers or care about what was being said regarding God. I was just happy that there was a group of kids who I could call my friends; who I truly felt were my friends. Then we went to this thing called a Judgement house. It's sort of the Christian version of a haunted house. Inside, they scare the beegees out of you by showing you what they believe will happen when you die and you aren't saved. I admit, it worked. I was scared to death.
That night, in fear and a desperate urge to feel accepted and part of a larger group, I prayed with a friend to let jesus into my life. And for a few months, I really felt as though I were on fire for christ. But that feeling began to wear off as my friends all began to go their separate ways. Before long, the youth group I had felt so close too was full of younger people that I didn't know and who didn't seem to want to know me. I tried going to the regular church services for a time, but felt even more uncomfortable there. Whatever the reason, I suddenly realized that I didn't fit in around here. I prayed to God for an answer to help me find a new place where I could be accepted. One of my youthgroup friends and I caught up and decided to try a new church for a while. The feeling never returned and I god never once imparted any insight or gave me any direction no matter how much I asked.
That's when I began to think back about all the paying I had done over the last several months. And that's when I realized that not once could I remember a time in which I truly felt like my life was being guided by god. All I could remember was being motivated by fear and loneliness. Since that time, I've never tried to get close to god again because I couldn't say for certain that there was a god. For a time, in the recent past, I became a little too certain there was no god. Today, I'm just not sure.
Still, part of me wonders that, if given the opportunity, would god (should he exist) decide to speak to me or help guide me or somehow give me the same self evidence that so many converted christians have that he does exist. So, I've decided to give him/her/it that opportunity. Now before I go any further, I am NOT making an all-call for every loony who wants to try to convert me to start yammering about God. Instead, I'm going to take a more personal approach and that approach begins by reading the bible from cover to cover; start to finish. Now, there are some rules to the way I'm going to be handling this. 1) I am going to read two versions of the bible simultaeously. The first version is the King James Version. You, my friends and readers will get to pick the second version from the list at the end of this post. 2)After each story/chapter/whatever the thing is divided into, I'm going to post my thoughts about it here on my journal for discussion. 3) I must enter into this with a skeptical, but open mind.
My goals go beyond just seeing if I can find religion. I want to see what the bible has to teach in its entirety. You see, I've never read the bible cover-cover as an adult. I did it when I was a teenager, but I should be able to understand a great deal more now than I could then. I intend to point out inconsistencies and fault when I find them though I have no intentions of hunting them down. I am not searching for evidence for or against god, I am searching for truth. One of two things will happen as I progress thorough this project. A) I'll come across some previously unknown personal truth and convert or B) my mind will remain unchanged. Regardless, it should be an enlightening experience. I can't really think of a negative effect of this so I'm going for it.
What I need now are some suggest for which would be the best version of the bible to read aside from King James (King James is one of the two versions because it so widly used and is regarded as the most accurate translation of the bible). I know from experince however that the KJB can be exhausting to read, therefore, I would like a well translated bible to read was well. No Annotation are allowed. I want to form my own opinions about the stories within the good book, not read about other people's opinions.
So, what should my second version be?
The New International Version
The New American Standard
The New Living Translation
The English Standard Version
The Contemporary English Version
or some version that I haven't listed?