why does this continually bother me so much?
well, i am still sort of sick. and i have kind of this general malaise that is making me feel shitty. i really like that the rest of my life is sorted out, but still the same problem keeps attaching to me. and i see everybody around me, mostly my best friends all being in the same situations, they are either considering marriage or breaking off the longest relationships of their lives. But then there is tim, i dont know if i am the least attractive of the bunch or if i am just the most fucked up. i dont think i am either, but all i do know is that it just isnt happening at all. i dont even get excited about the prospect of it anymore, it just has almost left my mind as being in the realm of possibility. and unlike philly, i dont feel that pittsburgh is a place that is full of possibilities. i dont know whats going to happen, i am just going to keep on doing what i am doing and hope that something will change. all i know is i need something to get this bitter taste out of my mouth.