HUH???
Okay so things I've learned...the world knows whether you want it to or not, time is longer than you want it to be, and breathe in...breath out. That's it. Now let me explain.
I've been afraid to go outside for fear that people would see the expression on my face. I went out anyway. Nobody commented on my face, but the world still seemed to know. The world treats me different now...almost smugly, like it won the game and is rejoicing in laughter.
Time takes to long: I want these wounds to be healed I want them to go away and I want everything to be okay. But the truth is it's not okay, I'm not okay. I'm alive and functioning, but like a robot, not like a person. I can't think I can't smile properly, I can't help but cry. And it makes me wonder what he feels. I want to call but I know that not enough TIME has passed, and I know he'll let me know when its okay to. so for now I have to wait for TIME to work and to heal. but in the mean time the world sucks.
Breathe in Breathe out: an old friend of mine actually told me this. He would say it to me everytime I would get up set. the way he said it made me smile. Now I realized that it works. Turns out a little air will do you good. When I focus on my breathing then it changes the focus of my mind...if only for a little while. I calm down, lift my head (even though I don't want to.) and I venture out in to that smug awful world.
This world is where I walk, talk, listen and pretend to laugh. This world is where now more than ever I am a lie.
I've been afraid to go outside for fear that people would see the expression on my face. I went out anyway. Nobody commented on my face, but the world still seemed to know. The world treats me different now...almost smugly, like it won the game and is rejoicing in laughter.
Time takes to long: I want these wounds to be healed I want them to go away and I want everything to be okay. But the truth is it's not okay, I'm not okay. I'm alive and functioning, but like a robot, not like a person. I can't think I can't smile properly, I can't help but cry. And it makes me wonder what he feels. I want to call but I know that not enough TIME has passed, and I know he'll let me know when its okay to. so for now I have to wait for TIME to work and to heal. but in the mean time the world sucks.
Breathe in Breathe out: an old friend of mine actually told me this. He would say it to me everytime I would get up set. the way he said it made me smile. Now I realized that it works. Turns out a little air will do you good. When I focus on my breathing then it changes the focus of my mind...if only for a little while. I calm down, lift my head (even though I don't want to.) and I venture out in to that smug awful world.
This world is where I walk, talk, listen and pretend to laugh. This world is where now more than ever I am a lie.