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Nov 16, 2006 20:57

HAPPY FULL MOON!

Hmn, it's funny, I guess I always knew that Josh would ask questions about dad eventually, but it's so weird to hear maria answering them in her bedroom tonight. It's a foreshadow of what is to come. What questions will he ask when he is ten or twelve? What will he think of what he finds out? I can only hope that genetics can be overcome, that he wont be influenced by stuff or, I dunno. Questions. Me and sis had been talking the other day, walking around downtown and talking about dad. What she said made me realize just how many wounds I have that are yet to scar over. Wounds, hidden away in those memories that I can't bring myself to remember, hah, I guess I have proven the existance of self hypnosis.

But anyways, I'm happy. I always am, even when I am angry or sad, even when I look at photographs, and cry. Even when I wonder why I always cry at photographs, and why I torture myself by collecting them.

It's a full moon, a blissful round full moon, and I am happy. I'm stronger than I was, and Josh's questions aren't enough to make me fall. I can hang on, I'm not standing by the cliff anymore.

Cassiopia Chandi/Fawn of Moonlight
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