writing.
sometimes you're happy; sometimes you're not. sometimes all of your friends want to hang out and all you want to do is lay down by yourself. sometimes you want to talk on the phone for hours about absolutely nothing, and sometimes you just don't feel like answering, no matter who's calling. sometimes you can't stand your family, and sometimes they're the only people you want around. sometimes you pour a bowl of cereal only to find out there's no milk in the fridge, and sometimes the dryer eats your underwear. sometimes you've got it all figured out, and sometimes you don't have the foggiest clue of what the hell's going on.
you start wondering what life's all about, and who you're supposed to be with. you think about all of the good times, and reminisce about how great the times used to be...not knowing that the times you're having right now are the times you'll be talking about in a few years. you sweat the small stuff, because you just can't help it. you cry over things that undoubtedly will not matter in a year. you still get butterflies when you see an ex, even though he or she was probably the biggest douche bag to ever walk the face of the planet [or so your friends have convinced you]. you get stabbed in the back by someone you never thought was capable of doing such harm; this, without a trace of doubt, is the same person you've said couldn't hurt a fly. you become friends with someone you haven't talked to in years, and realize it's probably not worth holding the grudge. life goes on. you get over it. this too shall pass.
people will come and people go. people will take your parking spot. people will cheat on you. people will buy you the sweetest birthday cards, but sometimes won't answer the phone. people will not attend some really important event in your life, even though you reminded them plenty of times. people will have a cart full of groceries and won't let you cut in front of them to purchase your single package of oreos. people will let you down over and over again, but it probably gets better.
that's what the movies tell us, anyway. sure everything sucks horribly for a majority of the time, but it gets better. you'll be crazy until you grow up. you'll laugh everyday. you'll fall in love with someone amazing, get married, and have children. you'll die peacefully in your sleep, in your three-bedroom home with the white picket fence and two brand new cars in the driveway. the media assures us that a utopian world is a completely plausible concept...despite how far-fetched it really is.
"so this is my life. and i want you to know that i am both happy and sad, and i'm still trying to figure out how that could be." this is my epiphany.
this is the part where you're supposed to have learned something. something really important to take away from my psychobabble. there's gotta be a point. it's like that Baz Luhrmann song with the sunscreen and what not, except i rarely dance...even if no one's watching. but there must be a moral, because people just don't get it. they keep falling for the same people, and repeating the same mistakes. they keep forgiving the people that hurt them, only to get hurt again. they spend hours getting ready in the morning, and then complain about not getting enough sleep. they ignore all of their friends when they date, bitch about how their friends don't talk to them, break up...and realize they have nothing. they don't crack the stupid jokes that pop in to their minds, because they're too afraid of being made fun of. make fun of your self; otherwise we're all going to do it for you. and by "we all", i clearly mean the people that have already realized there's much more to life than what society has told us is cool. we are the kids that show up wearing a t-shirt, drink a beer, laugh at ourselves, and mean it when we say we love our friends. we don't care what you think about us, because we've already convinced ourselves that we're awesome in every which way. we don't want your drama to follow us everywhere we go, and we could care less about desperate housewives. we live; we laugh; we do not care. and we are few and far between.