+ charged
i am tired of so many things right now.
and i think a good majority of that has to do with not letting go of my past.
yes, i have a past. there were some bad bits. there were also some really good bits. but i do NOT need to dwell on those things. my past is my past. there is no point in fantasizing all of the 'what ifs' anymore.
i need to write again.
i need motivation again.
i want to love again.
none of what i want is going to happen by being depressed because my life doesn't look like i imagined it would. i doubt anyone's ever does.
the people who seem to be the happiest are the people that aren't obsessed with their past (i feel i have overused 'past' but whatevs). i like the idea that some bright-eyed optimism is really all you need. i like the idea of living in the present (although that's really quite impossible, but i don't need to go into the abstract theories of ramblin' men...)
see guys? underneath it all, i really am a romantic. THAT is the person i have lost in being bitter. i like that person. and while i have become a great critic, and don't particularly dislike myself now, i don't think that's what i want out of my life.
i want inspiration, and that's difficult to find when i'm this cynical.
amanda
and i think a good majority of that has to do with not letting go of my past.
yes, i have a past. there were some bad bits. there were also some really good bits. but i do NOT need to dwell on those things. my past is my past. there is no point in fantasizing all of the 'what ifs' anymore.
i need to write again.
i need motivation again.
i want to love again.
none of what i want is going to happen by being depressed because my life doesn't look like i imagined it would. i doubt anyone's ever does.
the people who seem to be the happiest are the people that aren't obsessed with their past (i feel i have overused 'past' but whatevs). i like the idea that some bright-eyed optimism is really all you need. i like the idea of living in the present (although that's really quite impossible, but i don't need to go into the abstract theories of ramblin' men...)
see guys? underneath it all, i really am a romantic. THAT is the person i have lost in being bitter. i like that person. and while i have become a great critic, and don't particularly dislike myself now, i don't think that's what i want out of my life.
i want inspiration, and that's difficult to find when i'm this cynical.
amanda