(no subject)
No second chance required!.I was in New York today,another interview :/ it went well except for the part of filling out a humungous questionaire I was there forever!.When I was done it was probably around 1:30pm I called Jay since he told me last night to tell him when i'm in the city,but he did'nt answer so I just took the train to port authority to get the bus.When I got there I got separation anxiety and did'nt wanna leave so I called everyone I know but of course no one answered cuz everyone I know is cheap with their daytime minutes and don't answer before 9pm!.Jen called me back but she has bartending school...I just went home....I have no fun hanging out in New York by myself :(.
When I got home It started to rain as soon as I got in the house.I guess it's a good thing I came home,cuz I had no umbrella.My phone rung and it was Jay calling me back,he was in Manhattan all morning and wanted to know if I wanted to meet up > too late!. I definitely was'nt gonna go back out in the rain.We ended up just talking and I don't know how it came up,but he's like "you gotta treat me like your man now,but I don't want a wifey right now,nah mean?,I just wanna have fun"....funny cuz he keeps telling me "Be good" "Hold it down for me" he wants me to tell guys that I got a man and that's so selfish that I have to "Be Good" while he has "Fun" that does'nt work for me he's just demanding too much from someone who's not his girl.
The things he wants from me I can only give when i'm in a relationship,that may seem stupid to people,but that's what makes me different I guess.I can't give my all when the other person isn't doing the same it's not gonna work that way.And it's not like we can just be friends,and hang out,cuz since i've known him we always acted like we were a couple with all the affectionate gushy crap....how can we be around each other without the need to be that way again and even more?.The person I feel bad for is Greg even though he was acting like a psycho I feel bad that I just dragged him along knowing I did'nt want to be with him,I did'nt know how to tell him I had no interest without being mean about it...he kept wanting to hang out, but I only made time for Jay cuz I thought there was something good there...wrong again!.
Damn,I don't want to be single, but I guess I should just cherish my single-nesss.This is the first summer that i'm actually gonna be single in about...hmm 4 years...is that a good thing?.
When I got home It started to rain as soon as I got in the house.I guess it's a good thing I came home,cuz I had no umbrella.My phone rung and it was Jay calling me back,he was in Manhattan all morning and wanted to know if I wanted to meet up > too late!. I definitely was'nt gonna go back out in the rain.We ended up just talking and I don't know how it came up,but he's like "you gotta treat me like your man now,but I don't want a wifey right now,nah mean?,I just wanna have fun"....funny cuz he keeps telling me "Be good" "Hold it down for me" he wants me to tell guys that I got a man and that's so selfish that I have to "Be Good" while he has "Fun" that does'nt work for me he's just demanding too much from someone who's not his girl.
The things he wants from me I can only give when i'm in a relationship,that may seem stupid to people,but that's what makes me different I guess.I can't give my all when the other person isn't doing the same it's not gonna work that way.And it's not like we can just be friends,and hang out,cuz since i've known him we always acted like we were a couple with all the affectionate gushy crap....how can we be around each other without the need to be that way again and even more?.The person I feel bad for is Greg even though he was acting like a psycho I feel bad that I just dragged him along knowing I did'nt want to be with him,I did'nt know how to tell him I had no interest without being mean about it...he kept wanting to hang out, but I only made time for Jay cuz I thought there was something good there...wrong again!.
Damn,I don't want to be single, but I guess I should just cherish my single-nesss.This is the first summer that i'm actually gonna be single in about...hmm 4 years...is that a good thing?.