Cuts because I am updating FAR too much, sorry
I'm being really bitchy at the moment, wish Emly were around today to tell me to shut-the-fuck-up and stop keep saying stuff I don't mean.
I never usually say stuff I don't mean to anyone.
It's just like at the moment I keep like making a joke of Jake spinning out completely. Luckily treacle keeps saying "But I like him" I don't mean to say it. I just do and then i'm like "fuck why did I say that". It just, I guess I was really embarrassed cause all the next day I was just like; "JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE" and now i'm trying to be like "I don't give a shit he can spin out if he wants".
I've GOT to stop saying I don't care when I do. I always fucking laugh at stuff like "HA my hearts broken, how fucking ironic and funny..i'm such a twat...ha".
My head feels like theres loads of thoughts bouncing around inside going so fast and so many different ways I can't grab onto the one I want. I'm just so frazzled and I have no idea why.
And I feel so orfull, I should just keep Jake spins quiet and like, not tell anyone, but at the same time I want lots of poeple to be going, "Thats not serious, he doesn't mean anything by it".
I am also really scared poeple will think I fancy him cause of be being so like "JAke". He has an excuse cause he's a spinner.
I keep trying to think of something, process a thought, anything but all I end up is back at Jim. Personally, I blame the drugs.
I never usually say stuff I don't mean to anyone.
It's just like at the moment I keep like making a joke of Jake spinning out completely. Luckily treacle keeps saying "But I like him" I don't mean to say it. I just do and then i'm like "fuck why did I say that". It just, I guess I was really embarrassed cause all the next day I was just like; "JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE" and now i'm trying to be like "I don't give a shit he can spin out if he wants".
I've GOT to stop saying I don't care when I do. I always fucking laugh at stuff like "HA my hearts broken, how fucking ironic and funny..i'm such a twat...ha".
My head feels like theres loads of thoughts bouncing around inside going so fast and so many different ways I can't grab onto the one I want. I'm just so frazzled and I have no idea why.
And I feel so orfull, I should just keep Jake spins quiet and like, not tell anyone, but at the same time I want lots of poeple to be going, "Thats not serious, he doesn't mean anything by it".
I am also really scared poeple will think I fancy him cause of be being so like "JAke". He has an excuse cause he's a spinner.
I keep trying to think of something, process a thought, anything but all I end up is back at Jim. Personally, I blame the drugs.