Okay

[dream_labyrinth]

I stepped on a number of toes, apparently.
Got defriended.
Okay.

You know what? I might not like the fact, but I can live with it. I will not come grovelling because I lost a friend. I did that for far too long in my life, changing my opinion or trying to not say anything that could offend anybody in case then they wouldn't talk to me anymore.

Comments

[dream_labyrinth]

I know how it feels to have people close to you tell you you're ugly and fat. It's what my family did for most of my teenage years.
I'm not going to go back and post some of the pictures sent to me to make clear what I am talking about, for the exact same reason I didn't go and post a link to any site that has the pictures online. I didn't see the need to spread those pictures, because frankly I found them in no way funny.
However, I'm dead sure that none of the fat people shown there was in any way healthy. I never wanted to imply that everybody should wear a size six and that people over that should either not leave their houses or only when dressed in a paper bag. However, when you are a size twenty, I believe you should wear a size twenty, and not insist on squeezing into something smaller.
So my problem is less the weight matter than the way the bulk is displayed.

I realise that doesn't make me less offensive to many people, and I will just have to live with however many more people decide they no longer want to have anything to do with me.

[foudebassan]

My question is. How is your opinion (fat people should a) try to get healthier and b) dress modestly, or else they'll deserve being made fun of) different from saying things like "girls shouldn't dress in a provocative manner, or else they'll deserve it when boys make insulting remarks and / or rape them". If you can't refrain from criticising someone whose body you find revolting, how do you expect a man to refrain from being insulting / dangerous to someone whose body he finds sexually arousing? (or - if you expect people to cover up because they disgust you, how would you reply to a fundamentalist islamist who tells you to cover your hair because seeing it evokes all kinds of equally strong emotional responses in him)

Sorry if I'm just adding to the conflict here - I read your last post and I'm sorry you feel that way, please feel free to delete my comments if they only add to it. But you've touched a very sensitive point for me here and I believe part of the fun in LJ is the interaction.

[dream_labyrinth]

Actually, as your comments give me a chance to try to explain, I'm happy that you do comment as you do.

The difference as I see it that remarks made in a different setting do not hurt the person the same as rape. I do think that a woman who dresses provocatively shouldn't be surprised to get catcalls when passing the nearest construction site, but that still is a long way away from the physical and psychological damage of rape.
Equally, while I do hold the opinion that everybody (regardless of size, by the way) should not expose all that much of their body in public, because I personally consider it unattractive, I know and understand and accept that other people have a different opinion. And my hope would be to see a change in that, not in somebody else forcing them to cover up no matter their opinion.

So the difference as I see it is that while I reserve the right to voice my disagreement with their choices, I wouldn't actually act to prevent them from making those choices.