Seriously, are you for real?
I know it may not look like it but dudes I sometimes feel REAL socially developmentally challenged.
Coming back home from my first real vacation in a long while is such a trip (ha, pun not actually intended). All/most of the things that irritated me about my mom on vacation are the things that are irritating me about myself now that I'm back home? Whut. Thats a mind fuck.
I feel like I'm riding this thin line between feeling relaxed and rested from vacay & feeling irritated by all the real life stuff that is creeping under my skin.
Like work. Just in general. I mean, I love what I do but I still want to figure out better communication betwixt myself and all those I work for. Which is proving frustrating and pushing me a lot.
Like therapy. My god I am so fucking bored with therapy and hearing myself talk about my shit. Its like this fucking boring sad planet that orbits my body and compulsively develops a stonger gravitational pull (note to self: tell Elza this).
Like traffic. And being on time. Appointments. Dates. Blah frickity blah blah blah. For reals. Obligations.
I might take Kelly Curtone's advice to LC on the Hills pretty soon and Flane. Like just give up all the fucking appointments and bullshit and really just enjoy summer with no plans or obligations except the ones that crop up unexpectedly on my wandering. Easier said than done. And as I'm writing this I'm thinking "Ok, fine. Flane. Right after my weekend obligations." Which is, as I understand it hardly the point of the Flane. Um, that should have an accent on the e btw, but I am too lazy so...yeah. Its french and means to wander aimlessly without plans and exciting things will happen to you or something like that.
I wish I could just chill the fuck out for real and enjoy something laid back and easy breezy. But I'm just being honest here, I am so not built that way. I would use fancy descriptive words like anal or whatever to accentuate my point, but you get the idea. Maybe my summer goal should be something about letting myself have fun on my own terms and letting it be whatever it needs to be. Something to that effect. I'm so jealous of people who can just chill and have fun without stressin'. What magic planet did you people grow up on? And how can I learn me some of your ways?
I have to have a Come To Jesus talk with myself about relaxing and having fun, and thats never any fun. Catch 22.
Okay enough of that but HEY THE RAIN IS SO AWESOME! I am totally digging it. Not only is it helping to retain all the delicious moisture in my skin from the humid tropical climes of Hawaii, but it reminds me of being in Forests up North! Hurrah for the Rain!
Stress is not my friend. Neither is arid dry desert air. Dudes, I totally resent Colorado for trying to suck the vacation out of my skin. Bullmess.
Last night two really great things happened:
1. I got a free replacement power chord for my puter from my fav mac outlet guy after I explained that my cat chewed through the old one. Score!
&
2. The Agent Ribbons and Camera Obscura show was so so so so so good
Coming back home from my first real vacation in a long while is such a trip (ha, pun not actually intended). All/most of the things that irritated me about my mom on vacation are the things that are irritating me about myself now that I'm back home? Whut. Thats a mind fuck.
I feel like I'm riding this thin line between feeling relaxed and rested from vacay & feeling irritated by all the real life stuff that is creeping under my skin.
Like work. Just in general. I mean, I love what I do but I still want to figure out better communication betwixt myself and all those I work for. Which is proving frustrating and pushing me a lot.
Like therapy. My god I am so fucking bored with therapy and hearing myself talk about my shit. Its like this fucking boring sad planet that orbits my body and compulsively develops a stonger gravitational pull (note to self: tell Elza this).
Like traffic. And being on time. Appointments. Dates. Blah frickity blah blah blah. For reals. Obligations.
I might take Kelly Curtone's advice to LC on the Hills pretty soon and Flane. Like just give up all the fucking appointments and bullshit and really just enjoy summer with no plans or obligations except the ones that crop up unexpectedly on my wandering. Easier said than done. And as I'm writing this I'm thinking "Ok, fine. Flane. Right after my weekend obligations." Which is, as I understand it hardly the point of the Flane. Um, that should have an accent on the e btw, but I am too lazy so...yeah. Its french and means to wander aimlessly without plans and exciting things will happen to you or something like that.
I wish I could just chill the fuck out for real and enjoy something laid back and easy breezy. But I'm just being honest here, I am so not built that way. I would use fancy descriptive words like anal or whatever to accentuate my point, but you get the idea. Maybe my summer goal should be something about letting myself have fun on my own terms and letting it be whatever it needs to be. Something to that effect. I'm so jealous of people who can just chill and have fun without stressin'. What magic planet did you people grow up on? And how can I learn me some of your ways?
I have to have a Come To Jesus talk with myself about relaxing and having fun, and thats never any fun. Catch 22.
Okay enough of that but HEY THE RAIN IS SO AWESOME! I am totally digging it. Not only is it helping to retain all the delicious moisture in my skin from the humid tropical climes of Hawaii, but it reminds me of being in Forests up North! Hurrah for the Rain!
Stress is not my friend. Neither is arid dry desert air. Dudes, I totally resent Colorado for trying to suck the vacation out of my skin. Bullmess.
Last night two really great things happened:
1. I got a free replacement power chord for my puter from my fav mac outlet guy after I explained that my cat chewed through the old one. Score!
&
2. The Agent Ribbons and Camera Obscura show was so so so so so good