Misogny's A Bitch
Let the craziness end with me! This is my torch.
I am reading a book about Borderline Mothers that my mother read about her mother (yup). It's fucking intense. And filling in the gaps for me about how my mom got the way she is, and some of the *ahem* nifty tricks she passed down to me.
It's like taking a big fat bitter truth pill. Quite uncomfortable. Quite Necessary. No amount of sugar is gonna make this teaspon of medicine any sweeter.
Ok, here's the thing about 'Borderline Personality': from what I can deduce so far it is basically REALLY INTENSE FEMALE SOCIALIZATION TO THE POINT OF LIKE MONSTER SOCIALIZATION.
I mean, yes, in my ♥ Heart ♥ I'm a sociologist so of course I think Boderline Personality is due to Socialization and not Psychosis. I also think its the result of damaging childhoods and long term PTSD. It's like handing down a malfunctioning, violent, hurtful survival system to girls generation after generation after generation ad infinitum. Awesome.
So, yes, I believe very much that Boderline Personality Disorder is a Pathologizing of the effects of Misogny. This doesnt mean I think its a blank check to be a Fucking Heinous Bitch and perpetuate Girl on Girl Crime (like my mom and grandma do, um, constantly) but it DOES mean that I am responsible for my part in this cycle and I dont get to chalk up my shitty internalized misogyny and homophobia to their shitty survival and coping system.
Other stuff:
- My skateboard wounds are healing nicely thanks to my apparently super human healing powers
- I am in love with Ingrid Michaelson's album 'girls and boys'
- Got Bewitched Season 7 and its so fucking amazing. The first 8 episdoes take place in Salem, MA at a witches convention. Shut up!
- Also reading a book about my boss' last death penalty case written by a bad ass sociologist who worked on the defense team. I am in academic lust with her right now pretty much.
- I tried filing my taxes online for the first time and they were rejected because my birthdate is either not in the IRS system correctly or my birthday is actually different than what I thought it was. THIS. IS. A. TOTAL. MIND. FUCK. Whut. if. i. have. been. celebrating. the. wrong. birthday. for. 25. years. ??? My Dad is locating my birth certificate to investigate further. I am really hoping for a data entry error by government bunglers.
- The amount of violent crime stuff I am exposed to now is totally backlogging my processing abilities. I just realized this weekend that short of sitting in a cyborg healing tank, the best thing to do is to have no media stimulation unadulterated quiet time for at least 1 hour a week minimum, I should probably try for 20-30 minutes a day though. Just to let things run their course properly. My prior down time methods involved music, tv, internet, etc. But now my down time is actual still silence.
- I really want to go to South By Southwest this year, I have never been to a big ol music fesitval but I'm really feeling it, we'll see
EDIT: Oh my god. I will NOT be going to South by Southwest. WTF?! Even if I flew on Southwest airlines for cheap and stayed with Nick, a music pass alone is like $700. Problem solved. Completely absurdly un doable. Who the frickty fuck can take a week off of work and pay upwards of $1000 for a music/film festival? Uh, not me. That's who.
I am reading a book about Borderline Mothers that my mother read about her mother (yup). It's fucking intense. And filling in the gaps for me about how my mom got the way she is, and some of the *ahem* nifty tricks she passed down to me.
It's like taking a big fat bitter truth pill. Quite uncomfortable. Quite Necessary. No amount of sugar is gonna make this teaspon of medicine any sweeter.
Ok, here's the thing about 'Borderline Personality': from what I can deduce so far it is basically REALLY INTENSE FEMALE SOCIALIZATION TO THE POINT OF LIKE MONSTER SOCIALIZATION.
I mean, yes, in my ♥ Heart ♥ I'm a sociologist so of course I think Boderline Personality is due to Socialization and not Psychosis. I also think its the result of damaging childhoods and long term PTSD. It's like handing down a malfunctioning, violent, hurtful survival system to girls generation after generation after generation ad infinitum. Awesome.
So, yes, I believe very much that Boderline Personality Disorder is a Pathologizing of the effects of Misogny. This doesnt mean I think its a blank check to be a Fucking Heinous Bitch and perpetuate Girl on Girl Crime (like my mom and grandma do, um, constantly) but it DOES mean that I am responsible for my part in this cycle and I dont get to chalk up my shitty internalized misogyny and homophobia to their shitty survival and coping system.
Other stuff:
- My skateboard wounds are healing nicely thanks to my apparently super human healing powers
- I am in love with Ingrid Michaelson's album 'girls and boys'
- Got Bewitched Season 7 and its so fucking amazing. The first 8 episdoes take place in Salem, MA at a witches convention. Shut up!
- Also reading a book about my boss' last death penalty case written by a bad ass sociologist who worked on the defense team. I am in academic lust with her right now pretty much.
- I tried filing my taxes online for the first time and they were rejected because my birthdate is either not in the IRS system correctly or my birthday is actually different than what I thought it was. THIS. IS. A. TOTAL. MIND. FUCK. Whut. if. i. have. been. celebrating. the. wrong. birthday. for. 25. years. ??? My Dad is locating my birth certificate to investigate further. I am really hoping for a data entry error by government bunglers.
- The amount of violent crime stuff I am exposed to now is totally backlogging my processing abilities. I just realized this weekend that short of sitting in a cyborg healing tank, the best thing to do is to have no media stimulation unadulterated quiet time for at least 1 hour a week minimum, I should probably try for 20-30 minutes a day though. Just to let things run their course properly. My prior down time methods involved music, tv, internet, etc. But now my down time is actual still silence.
- I really want to go to South By Southwest this year, I have never been to a big ol music fesitval but I'm really feeling it, we'll see
EDIT: Oh my god. I will NOT be going to South by Southwest. WTF?! Even if I flew on Southwest airlines for cheap and stayed with Nick, a music pass alone is like $700. Problem solved. Completely absurdly un doable. Who the frickty fuck can take a week off of work and pay upwards of $1000 for a music/film festival? Uh, not me. That's who.