Awake...?
Yeah. I'm back. Haven't been reading or writing LJ entries for a little while. I won't bother trying to fill in the long gap since the last one, just some of the more recent stuff.
I'm working at Hot Topic, at the Emerald Square Mall. The pay and hours aren't too great, but I keep myself busy with organization projects (one of the rare times being OCD is an advantage) and you meet some of the coolest people. The open-ended dress code is pretty sweet too, but the best part is getting a 40% discount. 40%! Do you have any idea how ridiculous that is?! I've been doing OTHER peoples' Christmas shopping there. I went with Acadia today (as a customer) and spent some of my Christmas money; $50 boots for $15 was the best thing I got. We came home with over $140 worth of stuff for $80 and change. I'm only a seasonal employee, unless they decide to keep me, but even if I no longer work there in a few weeks, it was worth it just for that.
School is over, until January 16th. I believe I passed all my classes, though I haven't been keeping track as closely as I should have. I will probably change my major to Fine Arts, since a)I really enjoy making things and want to become better at it, and b)because having an Associate's in General Studies is so vague it's almost useless. I want classes on drawing, painting, theater, music...good stuff. I will need to finish the Elementary Algebra that I started last semester, and step up to Intermediate--I really dislike math--but assuming there are some good classes still open, I want to fill my schedule with things that I WANT to wake up for.
Still dating Amanda. We got each other very nice things for Christmas; it would be tedious to list everything, but basically she got me things that were very useful, and I got her things that smell good (and FF VII!), in a treasure box I customized for her. We still get along well, and her family seems to like me...even her kinda-scary dad, which is good. He looks like a guy who would not hesitate to throw some sucka MC (his words, not mine) out a window or something, so being cool with him is very important to me. Unfortunately, I don't feel that Amanda and I will last as a couple for very much longer. It makes me sad for her more than anything, since she's more attached than I am. I'm not looking forward to that conversation, though much like in Catholic confession, I'll feel unburdened afterwards. I have to find a diplomatic way to make it clear to her that I don't feel comfortable in a relationship with her, but that doesn't mean I like her any less. She's still a very good friend to me, and I don't want to lose that. I want us to still have lunch together at school, go to MJ together, hang out with other friends, etc. Just without the stigma of "being together" making us feel obligated to do certain things. No, not THOSE things, perv. Just...there's a big, bold line between how you treat both your significant other and closest of friends, and I want to be on the other side of that line with her. Am I making any sense here?
I said once that she reminds me of Kat, and I withdraw that statement. I think...I think that now I know a little of how Kat felt toward me. Close, but not as close as I wanted to be with her. It makes me feel better about what happened between me and her, how it happened for a reason...and maybe with that comparison, I can learn from Kat's actions to figure out how I can cause the least amount of pain to Mandy.
Although it is not influencing my decision, it's...well, flattering, I guess...to know that there are others who want to take her place. One girl, I won't mention here for personal reasons. Though there is a strong connection between us, I think it would, if explored, be like a supernova: a great, powerful explosion of passion, which quickly burns away into nothing.
Kelley is a girl I met at Hot Topic. I got some earrings out of the case for her, talked for a few minutes, and when I cam back from my break she'd left her phone number for me. We've talked on the phone a bit, and last night was the first time I saw her since meeting her. I hung out at her house, we watched Sweeney Todd, followed by a lot of bad TV. Hours and hours of it. I enjoyed her company enough to stay. She has a very pretty face, and she's clearly more...experienced that Mandy, but she's also kind of a big girl. Does this surprise anyone who knows me? Almost every girl attracted to me is underage or quite full-figured. I'd include Michelle in the latter, since she wasn't wide, but a foot taller than me. So is Kelley worth pursuing? She's attractive enough to me so that I would be comfortable flirting (and maybe more than that), but an actual relationship? Eh...I doubt it. Besides, she reminds me of Ali, in more ways than one, and THAT whole thing didn't turn out so great.
The last girl, and the most likely girlfriend material, is Missy. Again, someone I met at Hot Topic. I talked to her and her friend Katie for a bit, then when I got off work we hung out and got some Starbucks. We have a lot in common. For starters, she already knows Mom and Marc, having worked with them at Kohl's. She's an experienced Wiccan (not just Pagan, to me there's a big difference), she's intelligent, and physically attractive. She reminds me of Leah, whom I haven't seen in years. She isn't as obviously into me as the other two I mentioned, but I can tell there's something there. Now, if only I could get in touch with her...
I've been accepted into the fold at Hathor's Garden. It's a Friday-night club in Providence, a girl I'm friends with through theater class works there. It's...well, it's sort of a mild fetish club. I don't participate, but I feel comfortable with the crowd, and I like the music. Kate was the only person I knew there for a while, but last week I got invited to join the regulars as Denny's after closing. You wouldn't believe how far away Denny's is, but I got to know some of the people a little better. Scary, some of the parallels between people I know in Virginia. Not, like, one person reminds me of another person, but just the kind of people in general. Will I become a regular? We'll see. When I can afford it, I feel better spending Friday nights there than going home to my computer.
Renovation of the house goes slowly, but ever forward. I 've been clearing the basement, pulling useless boards and crap off the walls, and laying in insulation. Weather-insulated my windows as best I could. Been painting, patching, reinforcing...it's annoying at times, but I like doing repairs. I feel accomplished, knowing that when I do a job, it STAYS done. It'll almost be a shame to move out, but it will happen eventually. Not soon, though.
So...yeah. That's what's on my mind right now. Maybe with school out, I'll have more chances to sit and write. Or maybe I'll spend it working in the basement. Whatever, no promises.
I'm working at Hot Topic, at the Emerald Square Mall. The pay and hours aren't too great, but I keep myself busy with organization projects (one of the rare times being OCD is an advantage) and you meet some of the coolest people. The open-ended dress code is pretty sweet too, but the best part is getting a 40% discount. 40%! Do you have any idea how ridiculous that is?! I've been doing OTHER peoples' Christmas shopping there. I went with Acadia today (as a customer) and spent some of my Christmas money; $50 boots for $15 was the best thing I got. We came home with over $140 worth of stuff for $80 and change. I'm only a seasonal employee, unless they decide to keep me, but even if I no longer work there in a few weeks, it was worth it just for that.
School is over, until January 16th. I believe I passed all my classes, though I haven't been keeping track as closely as I should have. I will probably change my major to Fine Arts, since a)I really enjoy making things and want to become better at it, and b)because having an Associate's in General Studies is so vague it's almost useless. I want classes on drawing, painting, theater, music...good stuff. I will need to finish the Elementary Algebra that I started last semester, and step up to Intermediate--I really dislike math--but assuming there are some good classes still open, I want to fill my schedule with things that I WANT to wake up for.
Still dating Amanda. We got each other very nice things for Christmas; it would be tedious to list everything, but basically she got me things that were very useful, and I got her things that smell good (and FF VII!), in a treasure box I customized for her. We still get along well, and her family seems to like me...even her kinda-scary dad, which is good. He looks like a guy who would not hesitate to throw some sucka MC (his words, not mine) out a window or something, so being cool with him is very important to me. Unfortunately, I don't feel that Amanda and I will last as a couple for very much longer. It makes me sad for her more than anything, since she's more attached than I am. I'm not looking forward to that conversation, though much like in Catholic confession, I'll feel unburdened afterwards. I have to find a diplomatic way to make it clear to her that I don't feel comfortable in a relationship with her, but that doesn't mean I like her any less. She's still a very good friend to me, and I don't want to lose that. I want us to still have lunch together at school, go to MJ together, hang out with other friends, etc. Just without the stigma of "being together" making us feel obligated to do certain things. No, not THOSE things, perv. Just...there's a big, bold line between how you treat both your significant other and closest of friends, and I want to be on the other side of that line with her. Am I making any sense here?
I said once that she reminds me of Kat, and I withdraw that statement. I think...I think that now I know a little of how Kat felt toward me. Close, but not as close as I wanted to be with her. It makes me feel better about what happened between me and her, how it happened for a reason...and maybe with that comparison, I can learn from Kat's actions to figure out how I can cause the least amount of pain to Mandy.
Although it is not influencing my decision, it's...well, flattering, I guess...to know that there are others who want to take her place. One girl, I won't mention here for personal reasons. Though there is a strong connection between us, I think it would, if explored, be like a supernova: a great, powerful explosion of passion, which quickly burns away into nothing.
Kelley is a girl I met at Hot Topic. I got some earrings out of the case for her, talked for a few minutes, and when I cam back from my break she'd left her phone number for me. We've talked on the phone a bit, and last night was the first time I saw her since meeting her. I hung out at her house, we watched Sweeney Todd, followed by a lot of bad TV. Hours and hours of it. I enjoyed her company enough to stay. She has a very pretty face, and she's clearly more...experienced that Mandy, but she's also kind of a big girl. Does this surprise anyone who knows me? Almost every girl attracted to me is underage or quite full-figured. I'd include Michelle in the latter, since she wasn't wide, but a foot taller than me. So is Kelley worth pursuing? She's attractive enough to me so that I would be comfortable flirting (and maybe more than that), but an actual relationship? Eh...I doubt it. Besides, she reminds me of Ali, in more ways than one, and THAT whole thing didn't turn out so great.
The last girl, and the most likely girlfriend material, is Missy. Again, someone I met at Hot Topic. I talked to her and her friend Katie for a bit, then when I got off work we hung out and got some Starbucks. We have a lot in common. For starters, she already knows Mom and Marc, having worked with them at Kohl's. She's an experienced Wiccan (not just Pagan, to me there's a big difference), she's intelligent, and physically attractive. She reminds me of Leah, whom I haven't seen in years. She isn't as obviously into me as the other two I mentioned, but I can tell there's something there. Now, if only I could get in touch with her...
I've been accepted into the fold at Hathor's Garden. It's a Friday-night club in Providence, a girl I'm friends with through theater class works there. It's...well, it's sort of a mild fetish club. I don't participate, but I feel comfortable with the crowd, and I like the music. Kate was the only person I knew there for a while, but last week I got invited to join the regulars as Denny's after closing. You wouldn't believe how far away Denny's is, but I got to know some of the people a little better. Scary, some of the parallels between people I know in Virginia. Not, like, one person reminds me of another person, but just the kind of people in general. Will I become a regular? We'll see. When I can afford it, I feel better spending Friday nights there than going home to my computer.
Renovation of the house goes slowly, but ever forward. I 've been clearing the basement, pulling useless boards and crap off the walls, and laying in insulation. Weather-insulated my windows as best I could. Been painting, patching, reinforcing...it's annoying at times, but I like doing repairs. I feel accomplished, knowing that when I do a job, it STAYS done. It'll almost be a shame to move out, but it will happen eventually. Not soon, though.
So...yeah. That's what's on my mind right now. Maybe with school out, I'll have more chances to sit and write. Or maybe I'll spend it working in the basement. Whatever, no promises.