Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface...
No matter how hard i try i can't escape it, i know people tell me to just stop but what they don't understand is that you can't just stop, you have to have soem type of motivation or at least parents willing to help. Which neither i have, cause i would do anything to change my ways but is has become such a part of my life. I hate being so unhappy and i think this is a big factor of being so unhappy among other things. But what i hate more is always being so alone and it seems like every day i drift farther away from the people i love and want to be with, prob cause i am so quite and isolate myself so much from the world, but i have never felt so lost and empty. I just wish i could tell him the way i feel, even if he doesn't like me too, but i think he would be weird around me and i couldn't stand to lose him, cause he means the world to me. I don't think i will ever find love or know what it feels like.