I'm not high enough right now.
I've been dulling the pain of knowing the truth. Sometimes I am overpowered with such rage and hurt. It's somehow my fault you lie to me. You asked why I am with you. I honestly cannot tell you anymore.
Every excuse I make for you. Every truth I keep from people for you. Everything I have ever done in this marriage is for our family. Every choice and decision you make is for number one, Mark.
This life is so short and I just want to live it in peace with you.
It's not my period, it's how I feel all the time.
Every time I am upset and keep it to myself I am wondering about what you did. Why was I not good enough? Why am I changing for you?
It is all my fault we have these problems. Yes, indeed I check on your internet history and go through your phone. Do you think if I never did any of that we would be any better off? If I decided four years ago to lay in bed with you instead of going through your chat history, would we really be happier now? Do you even think we would be together?
I cannot imagine the things you would have done behind my back. It would have been harmless at first. You flirting with women online while your retarded wife cared for your offspring, cooked, and worked full time. If the flirting was okay, then would a lunch with a friend be okay? Cutting work to see your friend without me knowing. If I hadn't stayed on your heels for four fucking years, do you really think we would be happy? Your stupid fucking wife oblivious to what you are doing and because she deserves it. She did see her ex and lied about it. Looking back at it all, no matter how much you want me to be at fault, it is not. I was honest with you every step of the way until November 2010.
It is your fault. Our entire marriage is your fault. I sweat blood for this family. All I wanted in return was some respect.
I am with you because I am afraid of finding someone new to hurt and take advantage of me. At least with you I have my child's father and a fantastic lover. Sometimes even a good friend. However, you walk all over me. You are cruel to me and harsh. The disappointment of your indiscretions scarred me. I had the man I loved torn from my heart the first time I caught you in a lie. You have yet to even show interest in wanting to be that man I once loved. Maybe he died with the dream I had of us growing old together happily. What happened to my fucking husband. I remember marrying a man. Not a pussy the occasionally abuses me.
See? It is my fault. I am stupid.
I wish I knew how to keep the sun from rising.
Every excuse I make for you. Every truth I keep from people for you. Everything I have ever done in this marriage is for our family. Every choice and decision you make is for number one, Mark.
This life is so short and I just want to live it in peace with you.
It's not my period, it's how I feel all the time.
Every time I am upset and keep it to myself I am wondering about what you did. Why was I not good enough? Why am I changing for you?
It is all my fault we have these problems. Yes, indeed I check on your internet history and go through your phone. Do you think if I never did any of that we would be any better off? If I decided four years ago to lay in bed with you instead of going through your chat history, would we really be happier now? Do you even think we would be together?
I cannot imagine the things you would have done behind my back. It would have been harmless at first. You flirting with women online while your retarded wife cared for your offspring, cooked, and worked full time. If the flirting was okay, then would a lunch with a friend be okay? Cutting work to see your friend without me knowing. If I hadn't stayed on your heels for four fucking years, do you really think we would be happy? Your stupid fucking wife oblivious to what you are doing and because she deserves it. She did see her ex and lied about it. Looking back at it all, no matter how much you want me to be at fault, it is not. I was honest with you every step of the way until November 2010.
It is your fault. Our entire marriage is your fault. I sweat blood for this family. All I wanted in return was some respect.
I am with you because I am afraid of finding someone new to hurt and take advantage of me. At least with you I have my child's father and a fantastic lover. Sometimes even a good friend. However, you walk all over me. You are cruel to me and harsh. The disappointment of your indiscretions scarred me. I had the man I loved torn from my heart the first time I caught you in a lie. You have yet to even show interest in wanting to be that man I once loved. Maybe he died with the dream I had of us growing old together happily. What happened to my fucking husband. I remember marrying a man. Not a pussy the occasionally abuses me.
See? It is my fault. I am stupid.
I wish I knew how to keep the sun from rising.