(no subject)
I had my appointment at the hospital for a check up on the nose today. after a brief moment of panic when they looked at spot more critically than I expected, they did as i expected and offered more surgery to correct the cosmetic with little hesitation, but its up to me and what was my opinion.
i stalled - bug wuss that i am and said,(Not untruthfully) that I'm not sure what it 'really' looks like as everyone tends to walk on egg shells round the matter.
they said i didn't have to make choice right now, could think it over and booked me back for a follow up in couple of months.
i went home and have been an emotional wreck for the rest of the day and i don't know why.
Nothing happened this morning, but i've been jittery and almost weepy for the rest of the day thinking about it.
I shouldn't moan, it could have been so much worse last year, i'm not sure if it being nearly a year now, being back in that building or the prospect of more surgery or what but really on edge today.
I mean, i think its pretty horrible looking, and i'm not a picture to begin with, but i've gotten used to it, mostly, but the prospect of putting myself under the knife again fills with dread. and thus going round and round and thinking about last year, where i just tried to ignore it as much as possible, but stills reamisn that i had half my nose chopped off to deal with skin cancer and god damn i want a drink now, but I can't or should say must not as have game later and work in the morning.
i stalled - bug wuss that i am and said,(Not untruthfully) that I'm not sure what it 'really' looks like as everyone tends to walk on egg shells round the matter.
they said i didn't have to make choice right now, could think it over and booked me back for a follow up in couple of months.
i went home and have been an emotional wreck for the rest of the day and i don't know why.
Nothing happened this morning, but i've been jittery and almost weepy for the rest of the day thinking about it.
I shouldn't moan, it could have been so much worse last year, i'm not sure if it being nearly a year now, being back in that building or the prospect of more surgery or what but really on edge today.
I mean, i think its pretty horrible looking, and i'm not a picture to begin with, but i've gotten used to it, mostly, but the prospect of putting myself under the knife again fills with dread. and thus going round and round and thinking about last year, where i just tried to ignore it as much as possible, but stills reamisn that i had half my nose chopped off to deal with skin cancer and god damn i want a drink now, but I can't or should say must not as have game later and work in the morning.